Ashlee Simpson Gossip

Ashlee Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Jessica Simpson at TRL

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2006 12:00:00 July 21, 2006 12:00:00

In my shallow, materialistic mind, most women fall under 2 style categories: 1. Women who dress for women 2. Women who dress for men And please save it with the “I dress for myself” song and dance. You’re reading a gossip column – you really want me to feign profundity here??? So anyway, I belong in Group #1. Full Story

Brittany Murphy: becoming Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 14, 2006 12:00:00 July 14, 2006 12:00:00

Since when did Jessica Simpson become the style standard to be followed? Why is there a new Jessie clone popping up every week? Did I miss something? Take a look at Brittany Murphy at the Groomsmen premiere. Fake tan? Check. Fake hair? Check. Plastic smile? Over the top dress? Weird ass bent leg pose? Check check check. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: new man, new glow?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2006 12:00:00 June 29, 2006 12:00:00

Now that we can safely say she did not get a nose job - look closely, that bump is still there - can we redirect our attention to what really matters? Who’s tappin" Jessica Simpson? After a flurry of post divorce freedom f&cks with Adam Levine and everyone left over from the Jackass crew, Jessie"s had a relatively quite Spring. Full Story

Jessica vs. Paris: the song-off

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2006 12:00:00 June 26, 2006 12:00:00

I know I disappointed you a couple of weeks ago when I said I liked Paris Hilton’s Stars Are Blind . I’m really, really sorry… but it’s a catchy tune. Now I’m about to disappoint you once again by saying that I also like Jessica Simpson’s A Public Affair. Full Story

The uninspired work of Ken Paves

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 22, 2006 12:00:00 June 22, 2006 12:00:00

Ken Paves is Jessica Simpson’s main gay, also known as her hairstylist. As it turns out, Ken also does Eva Longoria. Thing is, I’m sure Ken is talented and I’m sure he’s coiffed and created some beautiful manes in the past, but going purely from these 2 subjects alone, I’m thinking he might want to recruit some new clients. Full Story

Jessica’s Maxim tits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 16, 2006 12:00:00 June 16, 2006 12:00:00

Have you seen her Maxim cover? Love the caption “The World’s Most Horrifying Pets” right next to her big ass wig. Love it! In the article she talks about her kissing style, her flirting style – something about doing a shoulder shimmy which, when you think about it, really is a crock of sh*t. Because we all know her flirting style has more to do with dropping on her knees than any kind of innocent body language. Full Story

The Daily Dumbass: Ashlee Simpson & Marie Claire

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 13, 2006 12:00:00 June 13, 2006 12:00:00

Some people love magazines. They savour them in the bath or in the morning or whenever there"s a stolen moment. Other people love books. I love books. I am currently involved with one right now that has captured every free minute of my day. But while I don’t spend money anymore on magazines, I do enjoy the casual browse at the bookstore or at the check out line and I have consistently enjoyed Marie Claire because they have always tried to have one section devoted to women from different cultures, the challenges they face, and the injustice being done in some cases - overall Marie Claire has been good for a bit of teensy tiny bit of brain activity along with the fashion fluff. Full Story

Mariah Carey: on weight loss & boob sag

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2006 12:00:00 June 11, 2006 12:00:00

Life & Style – SO reliable – is claiming that Mimi is claiming that she lost 30 pounds in 4 months. WTF??? She wasn’t a stick insect but by no means was her jiggle out of control. THIRTY POUNDS? Bitch didn’t need to lose 30 pounds. And something tells me 30 pounds is a bit of an exaggeration. Anyway, here’s the female Hoff looking svelte at LA Reid’s 50th birthday party over the weekend. Full Story

Most Manly: Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2006 12:00:00 June 6, 2006 12:00:00

Stumpy legs went to NYC and jammed her tits into a white Michael Kors. But here"s the problem with Jessie, aside from the obvious. The problem with Jessie is that her tits cheapen everything she wears. Which is why I think she"s an excellent candidate for breast reduction. The narrow sloping shoulders, the small waist, the short stubby legs - it"s a bad combination but just a one cup downsize would do wonders. Full Story

Worst Ghetto Tits: Janet Jackson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2006 12:00:00 June 6, 2006 12:00:00

Ghetto tits, ghetto weave, ghetto belt, ghetto colour combination - Miss Jackson is channeling Tara Reid. And it is breaking my heart. I also wish she could move past the 90s. The high fat ponytail is so OVER. By the way - is it just me or does she look like she just got another nose job? Is there a self mutilating gene that runs in this family or did Joe Jackson just f*ck his kids up nice and good? Between Joe Jackson and Joe Simpson, who"s the lesser of the two evils??? Photo from Perez Hilton Full Story

Worst Legs, Worst Skin: Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 4, 2006 12:00:00 June 4, 2006 12:00:00

I like the dress. I like it a lot. And I even like the new weave. I do however object to the skin. The leathery texture, the orange glow, the way it makes her look like a man who’s been weathered by the sun after too many hours herding lifestock and chewing tobacco. As mentioned the other day, Jessica Simpson is clearly distressed Full Story