Ashlee Simpson Gossip

Ashlee Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Dear Gossips,

We were watching the hockey game last night. My husband’s team was protecting a one goal lead, the opposition had pulled their goaltender, and an inexperienced young player for the good side went for the empty net a bit too hastily, prompting this to fly out of my husband’s mouth:

“F*ck Burrows! Relax! Quit blowing yer load before her panties come off!”

Crude, yes. But a brilliant analogy nonetheless. Once in a while, you actually can learn from someone who was raised in a smelly locker-room. And on that classy note, how about the blind item that appeared in Gatecrasher this morning?
“Which blond bombshell, on a recent visit to Rome, became ill and soiled her bedsheets so badly that the hotel mattress had to be replaced? Also, “she and [her boyfriend] have a reputation for really dirty sex," says a snitch.”


If memory serves, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer vacationed together in Italy not too long ago, yes? And she had the flu one day, didn’t she? Which is why he ventured out alone with his camera? And does peeing on someone count as dirty?

Just asking.

Today is Wednesday, live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,

Can’t Let Go

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

I’m sorry…I can’t. I can’t get over it. And this is a better shot - full body, so you can see more of the Jessica Simpson eye rapage. What I’m beginning to appreciate more and more are those pockets. As if it wasn’t bad enough that her pants are hiked up to her tits and the waist band is FOLDING OVER, she had to add 2 koala style pouches on each hip, just in case you weren’t fixated enough on that region. Full Story

This is How Pt 1

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Not that any amount of surgery or martian intervention could changes things and of course, Jessica Simpson is not even the smallest fraction of what Kate Winslet is but still… both by Hollywood standards are not stick insects, both have curves, both have bodies that are probably hated by Anna Wintour and in spite of all that, few can come close to the gorgessity of Kate Winslet. Full Story

Not for Everyone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Soooo mean, I know. But I’m still laughing. I mean, how can you not laugh? How can you??? Look at her! Look.At.Her!!! She’s top heavy and she has a tranny man body…and she’s wearing high waisted pants that look like bloomers and worse yet – she WORE THEM TO A CLUB!!! Jessica Simpson, last night, Winstons! No seriously…I can’t stop looking. Full Story

Monday, April 16, 2007

Dear Gossips,

We all have irrational, totally unreasonable pet peeves. For me it’s turned-out feet. For my friend Erin it’s people who can’t close their mouths – illustrated perfectly by Prince William: beaver bucks, big lips, can’t inhale through his nose, FAR from sexy…which is why I think Kate Middleton is much better off. Who wants to get mouth-breathed on for the rest of her life by a prematurely balding, emotionally stunted “art history” major?

If you ask me, she escaped an excruciatingly boring life. Well done.

Weekend catch up to follow including the Pitts’ planned outing, Britney thin and loopy, and my Kiki in the land of Hello Kitty.

Monday – live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,

PS. Another great Saturday Night Live. Fred Armisen’s Prince rendition never fails to kill me. But this week, the best sketch by far was the homage to John Mayer and Jessica Simpson. His spastic guitar playing, her spastic vocal gymnastics, and at the end, confirming what we all know: he’s a pig, she’s a hot piece of occasional tranny ass, and he enjoys pissing all over it. Click here for the clip - enjoy!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Winners of the Juno Gift Bag, the Good Shepherd DVD, and the Entourage Box Sets have been contacted. Thanks so much for all your entries – more giveaways to come soon, including Little Children and The Queen herself.

Next up – John Mayer disease seems to be wildly contagious. Latest victim: Pete Wentz? Pushing back the Fall Out Boy tour only to be seen in LA hand in hand, night after night with Ashlee Simpson, making out in the dark, then grocery shopping in what looks like jammies the next morning – are the Simpson Sisters this generation’s version of Yoko Ono?


It’s Tuesday, am blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts…including a new riddle.

Yours in gossip,

PS. To readers in Canada…it’s only for one day. One day that pays for dirty, dirty smut AND keeps my bitch alive, one day, gone tomorrow but the gossip will live on… my endless thanks and love for your understanding.

PPS. Girl on the Verge – remember her? Good news is she’s managed to avoid rock bottom…for now. Dried out for a week though a new setback is causing much distress. Seems she’s been professionally replaced, the mentor has moved on. Which in the long run is a good thing. In the short term however, it’s more rejection and for someone so fragile, it could mean disaster. Let’s hope she stays strong. Will keep you posted.

In Love or On Stage?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 5, 2007 12:00:00 April 5, 2007 12:00:00

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson at the beach in Australia – kissing, frolicking, and playing despite the obvious pappy presence capturing every “romantic” gesture. So you tell me: is this for real or is this for show? People Magazine – no surprise – is providing full details about how in love they truly are, with eyewitness reports of constant PDA and genuine devotion. Full Story

Nelly at the Junos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 2, 2007 12:00:00 April 2, 2007 12:00:00

Was backstage during rehearsals and soundcheck all weekend. You know how some musicians, when they’re performing live, they sound nothing like the studio product? And then you realise that photoshop doesn’t only apply to a visual package? Not sure how it came across on tv but Nelly live sounds just as clean as it does on the disc. Full Story

The Us Weekly Drug Issue

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 15, 2007 12:00:00 March 15, 2007 12:00:00

OK seriously… Janice Min outdid herself this week. The Drug Issue - obviously they can’t go full on and name names but some of the photos are pretty killer. Like one of Jack Nicholson I’d never seen before with white powder lining his nostrils. And Ryan Phillippe toking on…something. But the guessing games, the guessing games put this issue over the top. Full Story

Joe Simpson: Say what bitch???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2007 12:00:00 March 9, 2007 12:00:00

Not that the Spears are defensible in any way, not that Britney ever had enough structure and guidance…but still. If it were Natalie Portman’s parents doing the judging, I’d be like – sure, 100%, go for it. But Joe Simpson? Joe Simpson judging the Spears??? Bitch… please. An interview with In Touch, Papa Joe opines on the Britney situation: "I would never let that happen to my daughters. Full Story