Ashlee Simpson Gossip

Ashlee Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Kiki in a bikini

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 5, 2007 12:00:00 March 5, 2007 12:00:00

Used to hate her, now I"ve learned to love her bitch. Does she have the most attractive body? Clearly…no. Tits are too saggy for a young lass, not a lot of shape, certainly not the finest ass I’ve ever seen but I’m not going to slag her for being pale. Pale is better than the colour of Paris Hilton, pale is a hella better than skin cancer, and the best part about Kiki actually is that she’s not perfect. Full Story

Best Just Missed: Cameron Diaz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2007 12:00:00 February 26, 2007 12:00:00

After seeing her in person, I’m considering never calling her a Hermy again. And this hurts me. It hurts me more than you will ever know. Because I love Hermy Cam and my smutty existence just isn’t the same without Hermy Cam. But for the sake of objectivity, in real life, Cameron Diaz is actually quite feminine. Full Story

The Versatile Michelle Williams

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2007 12:00:00 February 24, 2007 12:00:00

Selma Blair did it not too long ago, Michelle Williams is rockin’ the pixie too. And I have to tell you – I think she looks amazing. She’s a bitch…but amazing nonetheless. Why? Because it’s not generic. And it’s not Jessica Simpson. And it totally works with her face. Not for everyone, absolutely. Full Story

The Daily Rossum: Jess & John after Grammy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Not a prom photo. Or the kind of shot that comes when you buy a new picture frame. This is Jessica Simpson gazing adoringly at John Mayer at the Sony/BMG party last night post-Grammys. As you can see, he is staring adoringly back. In fact, he’s not only staring, it actually looks like he’s leering. Full Story

Best Anti-Jessica: Carrie Underwood

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Rumoured to be a hardcore bitch but hey – at least she’s a professional. Carrie Underwood won the award for New Artist of the Year. She also performed during a tribute and shocker of shockers – she managed to remember all the words. Unlike Jessica Simpson who, if you recall, couldn’t hold her sh-t together at the Kennedy Center Honours for Dolly Parton. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: new brown, still tranny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 8, 2007 12:00:00 February 8, 2007 12:00:00

Ken Paves is at it again. I call this Hope Hair. You ever watch Days of Our Lives? I watched in the glory 80s, stopped after tenth grade. Bo and Hope – my favourite couple. Kristian Alfonso was Eva Longoria before Eva Longoria. Loved her. Then she dropped a ton of weight and put in some scary ass tits, though I heard she’s since chilled out a bit. Full Story

The Daily BitchSlap: Janice Min on Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 7, 2007 12:00:00 February 7, 2007 12:00:00

Us Weekly’s new cover – forget about that diet nonsense, look instead at the caption under the Plastic Surgery headline: good job for Jen and Jessica Simpson’s “Scary!” new face. Hee. Inside a blow by blow analysis of what she may have done, including pulling up the eyelids, thinning out the nose, cheek injections, and some sort of lip plumpage similar to the Restalyne treatment she had before. Full Story

Ryan Phillippe: From Reese to 18

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

Charming, isn"t he? First the infidelity, the Aussie co-star, the numerous girls on location, including 3 alleged skanks from the same Cactus Club location in Vancouver, not to mention countless others in Toronto and beyond. And now, on the heels of a "contrite and introspective" interview with Extra the other day, during which he attempted to re-gain the love of the MiniVan Majority with repeated mentions of his devotion to his children, Ryan Phillippe has stepped out with an 18 year old actress called Nikki Reed - she did a movie called Thirteen (scared the sh-t out of me) with Evan Rachel Wood. Full Story

Jessica in Elle: the fact among the lies

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

Jessica Simpson on the cover of the upcoming issue of Elle in what must be the most unimaginative photo shoot ever. Big hair, big tits, pink dress, wind machine…never seen that before, you? And then there’s the interview. She addresses the breakdown of her marriage, she describes her current relationship with Nick, she discusses how it felt to see Nick with another woman so soon after their split: "Oh, it hurt me. Full Story

Basic Communication with Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2007 12:00:00 January 25, 2007 12:00:00

I’m relieved today that I’m not a fan of John Mayer. To those of you who are, I send you my deepest condolences and sympathise with your disappointment. Because any which way you cut it, John Mayer looks bad. And for a dude with a solid fan base, with a sense of humour, who appeared to have some intelligence, John Mayer doesn’t only look bad…he actually looks WORSE. Full Story

Deviated Septum is the new Appendicitis?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 24, 2007 12:00:00 January 24, 2007 12:00:00

Us Weekly is reporting that Jennifer Aniston sought the services of Ashlee Simpson’s special nose doctor and underwent the knife herself on January 20th because…wait for it…she had a deviated septum that was preventing her from sleeping and breathing properly – the official word from her publicist Stephen Huvane who, as Us Weekly has also pointedly reported, hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with the truth on more than one occasion. Full Story