Loin quiveration for Ashton Kutcher

February 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at February 21, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
I’ve never found Ashton Kutcher all that worthy of panty rippage. Don’t get me wrong – he’s never been hideous but the outside package just couldn’t overcome the sophomore antics or the surfer stoner persona. Things only got worse when he and Demi hooked it up. For a while, like many of you, I could not understand this relationship. And then something happened. They wore me down. So much so that some time last year, I officially hopped on their love wagon. The Kab stuff still irks but I will concede that they seem genuinely in love - an observation confirmed by almost everyone I’ve talked to in the know. Now maybe it’s because he pledged himself to an older broad or maybe it’s just the ultracool shades but Ashton as a married man? Hot, hot, hot. Here they are at some launch party the other night, taking advantage of some fashion freebies. As you can see, Mr Moore is a total babe. And he is now officially being considered for a spot on the Freebie 5. Not only because he’s a fine piece of hotness, but also because he’s a fine piece of hotness who wants to be with a mature lady with a semi-hook nose…just like me. I’m not as old as Demi but at 32, Ash is still my junior. I also have this awful hawkish beak, the bane of my existence, and while I have longed my whole like for a perky cute little button I take comfort in the fact that Ashton doesn’t seem to mind the bird on Demi. And knowing this definitely makes a difference in my own private fantasy moments. Ashton for the Freebie 5? I’ll keep you posted.
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