Ashton Kutcher Gossip

Ashton Kutcher gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Ashton Kutcher: Still Gary

January 9, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 9, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If you’ve been reading my site long enough, you should know what I mean: Ashton’s pathetic attempt at facial hair resembling Gary from Team America – here a patch, there a patch, STILL a patch, everywhere a patch patch…is there anything uglier than a patchy beard? Especially on someone so gorgeous? Why does he persist? Here are Ashton and Demi and I think that’s the little one – Tallulah…I think. Full Story

The Ageless Demi

January 3, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 3, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In the pages of the new issue of Vanity Fair, on newsstands January 9th, she’s photographed by Mario Testino and the cover is nothing compared to the spread inside. Two shots in particular, both in black and white – in one she’s wearing a gorgeous black dress with a gaping hole between her breasts and a leather belt cinched around her waist, holding a tea cup, an almost surprised expression on her face, almost caught in mid-sentence…you wouldn’t think she was a day over 28. Full Story

Reese & Ryan: the other woman and the other women

November 1, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 1, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

How about the National Enquirer? Three weeks, three lock tight, slam dunk home runs beginning with the Grey’s Anatomy controversy…clearly stepping up to the smut game and delivering huge. As you know, they were the first to reveal the identity of Ryan Philippe’s *latest* on set fling, some flooze named Abbie Cornish with whom he has not been shy about groping all over Texas. Full Story

Dirty Face does Demi

October 26, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 26, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lilo at the Xbox party this week – straight dark locks, junky lookin’ make up per usual, a curious copy case of Demi Moore…modelling her daughter and now modelling after the mother. Is just me or does Demi, two decades older, look much, much better? With assistance, of course but still…in this day and age, for a 20 year old to get her ass kicked by 40 is nothing to be proud of. Full Story

The Daily Quiveration: Ashton Kutcher

August 23, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at August 23, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When he"s clean shaven, when he"s not rockin" a patchy beard, I am all over it. Especially since I"ve become a big supporter of his love, his marriage, his devotion to Demi, however long it might last. My problem with Ashton though is the sorry attempt at facial hair. Have you seen Team America World Police? We were playing poker last week and had it on in the background. Full Story

Movie Trailer #1: Ashton Kutcher stirs my loins

July 3, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at July 3, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I don"t care for Kevin Costner. If I wanted to worship an arrogant, massage perv, chronic philanderer - I"m more than happy to focus on Ryan Phillippe. But even though the Postman puts me into a disinterested coma on the best of days, I probably will see The Guardian only for Ashton Kutcher. Because if the trailer is any indication, Mr Moore delivers a loin quiveringly explosive performance that is easy on the eyes, hard on the thighs, and blessedly short on facial pubes - a look he"s been inexplicably rocking for reasons unbeknownst to anyone but his preternaturally preserved wife. Full Story

Justin pouts

April 23, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 23, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh gwumpy wumpy little baby JT. Big superstar doesn"t appreciate being followed by the pappies. Big superstar driving a super expensive BMW hates the attention. Big superstar with several other high end cars and lives in a gazillion dollar mansion supported by millions of fans with an appetite for candid photos gets all poo poo sulky if you don"t let him enjoy his high glam life in private. Full Story

The Daily Ugly: Ashton Kutcher

April 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Two months ago I was singing his hot praises. Unfortunately, Ashton has now fallen back into the sh*tter. Because on Mr. Moore, hirsute is horrid. And hirsute has earned him the distinction of being named the Daily Ugly not once but twice. I don"t know why anyone would want to make a hairy face and look like Dominic Monaghan. Full Story

Amanda Peet needs help

April 18, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 18, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I like Amanda Peet. I saw her a little while ago in some movie with Ashton Kutcher and I thought she was adorable. Having said that, I also think she needs a fashion lobotomy. Here she is last night at some event in NYC. Here she is at previous events looking like - to quote Stanford Blatch - fashion roadkill. Full Story

Loin quiveration for Ashton Kutcher

February 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at February 21, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’ve never found Ashton Kutcher all that worthy of panty rippage. Don’t get me wrong – he’s never been hideous but the outside package just couldn’t overcome the sophomore antics or the surfer stoner persona. Things only got worse when he and Demi hooked it up. For a while, like many of you, I could not understand this relationship. Full Story