Assy Hair Articles

Celebrity hair disasters, bad cuts, and out-dated styles.

Justin didn’t fix the shoe problem

October 17, 2011 17:15:23 Posted at October 17, 2011 17:15:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Kevin Winter/Eric Charbonneau/Getty

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux attended the American CInematheque even in honour of Robert Downey Jr on Friday in Beverly Hills. I like him in a black on black suit. It’s too bad he couldn’t help her with her shoe problem. Look at her shoes. Bash your head against your desk. WHY does this keep happening? In other Jennifer Aniston news, Jacek and I stayed in on Friday night after getting home from a 10 day trip to Toronto and Montreal. Full Story

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Worst Emmy Hair: Elisabeth Moss

September 19, 2011 09:08:02 Posted at September 19, 2011 09:08:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Elisabeth Moss was born in 1982. She’s only 29 years old. She’s YOUNGER THAN BRITNEY SPEARS. Now that this has been thrown in your face, it makes her hair last night even more offensive, right? How does a 29 year old girl show up at the Emmys with Allison Janney’s 1960s old lady helmet from The Help? This is the kind of sh-t that makes me so angry. Full Story

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Blake’s Mole & Leighton’s fringe

June 30, 2011 13:05:51 Posted at June 30, 2011 13:05:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Leighton Meester was photographed yesterday in New York leaving the Ritz Hotel promoting her new movie Monte Carlo wearing a new(ish?) fringe. HATE it. Love everything else – the dress, shoes, all of it – but the fringe...cheapens it, non? I know you think I’m biased about a fringe, and I am, but this girl is fresh and beautiful and young and now, now she looks hard and low classy. Full Story

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Photo Assumption: Heigl’s Husband

May 26, 2011 08:02:26 Posted at May 26, 2011 08:02:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s time to make up baseless assumptions by studying a series of photographs. Let’s play Photo Assumption on Katherine Heigl’s husband’s side-face while out for lunch yesterday with her and her mother. Horror, right? Total HORROR. Imagine – as if Katherine’s goddamn hair isn’t bad enough, it actually MATCHES her mom’s… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MATCHES HER MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is happening here? HOW is it being allowed to happen? I know I’ve asked this before. Full Story

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Not his best day

April 22, 2011 10:33:05 Posted at April 22, 2011 10:33:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Bang Bang Club screened at the Tribeca Film Festival today. Malin Ackerman, Ryan Phillippe, and Taylor Kitsch were all present. I don’t know what’s happening with Taylor’s hair but it’s hurting me, like actual physical pain. Obviously not his best showing. Having said that, yay for him hanging out with DeNiro on red carpets! But back to the hair… Is it long in the back or short? Is it in a ponytail? Is that a combover? Why am I including the word COMBOVER in an article about Taylor Kitsch????????????? The world hates me. Full Story

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Better in a bad situation

April 7, 2011 09:43:28 Posted at April 7, 2011 09:43:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We’ve been sh-tting on Katherine Heigl’s hair situation for a while now. Forget about how you feel about her on a bitch level, from a completely objective point of view, that mess is a mess. However… A mess is a sliding scale. And yesterday, as she was photographed with her husband, leaving to head to the Ellen show, the mess, well, I guess it could have been worse. Full Story

Why can’t you get your hair right?!?!?

March 14, 2011 07:53:00 Posted at March 14, 2011 07:53:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I mean… I just shouted out in anger in the middle of the living room at 12:30am at Duana’s on Saturday night/Sunday morning while writing this because F-CK, why can’t Katherine Heigl ever get her goddamn hair right?!?!? She’s 32. She’s not 62. She’s tall and pretty, with the kind of good looks that don’t necessarily intimidate, belying the fact that she’s actually a mouthy ungrateful bitch. Full Story

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Worst Oscar Hair: Reese Witherspoon

February 28, 2011 08:16:00 Posted at February 28, 2011 08:16:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jesus. Who made this call? The only, only, only positive here are the earrings. Everything else is an Elle Woods homage to Julia Roberts. But it’s the hair that’s really the crime here. The dress is for a hostess but it’s the hair that really fills me with rage. Obviously the homemaker aspect of it is offensive in itself, but also… the fact that it requires a hairpiece to pull off, one of those tacky ass accessories you can order off the tv – WHY is this happening to Reese Witherspoon? She doesn’t usually f-ck it up so badly. Full Story

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