Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Worst Emmy Wrinkle: Nicolette Sheridan

September 22, 2008 06:40:00 Posted at September 22, 2008 06:40:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s a bold idea. But is bold good? I have a thing about wrinkles. It’s from my mother. She irons everything. And she would say, if she could see this dress… Chow chow. Chow is wrinkly in Cantonese. We like to repeat adjectives twice for added effect. Chow chow may be bold…but chow chow not good. Full Story

Most Emmy Disappointing: Mary Louise Parker

September 22, 2008 06:32:48 Posted at September 22, 2008 06:32:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Love her. Which is why it’s so sad. That she shopped at a truck stop in Vegas. It’s the ruching down the front. And the bedazzled straps. You know who wears a dress like this? It’s That Girl from your husband’s office who drunk calls him every weekend. The one you’d like to throw down at the Christmas party but end up sparing out of pity when she walks into the venue wearing this dress. Full Story

Worst Emmy Ruffles: Teri Hatcher

September 22, 2008 06:29:23 Posted at September 22, 2008 06:29:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The good news is… her face doesn’t look so terrifying. Amazing how some people put other people into perspective, right? Constant shots of Madonna and Granny Freeze have numbed us all, no pun intended. The bad news… she’s shopping at the mall. You know those ladies’ stores at the mall? They have names like After Six. Full Story

More than the hair

September 17, 2008 14:44:57 Posted at September 17, 2008 14:44:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is Jude Law last night leaving Claridges after the Tropic Thunder premiere. Like… shave your f7cking head already! My dad started losing his hair at 25. And he persisted with the combover. And when it was blowing outside the longer parts would flip in the wind and I remember thinking to myself one day when he picked me up from school that he could braid it, it was so long. Full Story

Some people wore jeans…

September 15, 2008 08:08:09 Posted at September 15, 2008 08:08:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Saturday in Santa Monica, in a hangar at the local airport, check out Kate Beckinsale on the carpet at the Pink Party to benefit Cedars-Sinai Women’s Cancer Research. You would have thought it was a gala, right? One look at her husband will tell you – it was certainly not a gala. Not even close. Full Story

You decide

September 8, 2008 10:49:20 Posted at September 8, 2008 10:49:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Blake Lively at the Miss Sixty Show during New York fashion week yesterday in a green parachute pant jumpsuit. You likey? I can’t decide. You decide. Like the top. But maybe it would have been better cut short? Just below the ass? Don’t forget tonight – episode 2, Season 2. It’s better than last week. Full Story

Dirrrty doesn’t sing?

September 8, 2008 06:56:06 Posted at September 8, 2008 06:56:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

No… seriously… why was she lipsynching? Christina Aguilera sucks at a lot but she doesn’t suck at singing. So again, why no live? Check her out, arriving on the carpet last night at the VMAs – an ensemble that isn’t the greatest but that sure beat the hell out of those latex gunty pants she tried to rock on stage. Full Story

Bad Hair-Off

September 3, 2008 08:01:13 Posted at September 3, 2008 08:01:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Nicolas Cage at Letterman last night or John Travolta’s spray paint surprise from the Superbowl? Which is worse? Not sure what exactly Nic was promoting on Dave but it really doesn’t matter anyway. He’s like the Kate Hudson of big box office – makes the same movie over and over and over again. Full Story

Grey brows, pink lips

September 3, 2008 06:30:34 Posted at September 3, 2008 06:30:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Christina Aguilera was in New York yesterday to debut her fragrance Inspire. Celebrity colognes always confound me. First – who’s dumb enough to believe these people actually use their own sh*t? And second – they may look better than we do, but do they smell better than we do? Really? As far as Christina is concerned, why would you want to smell like someone who needs grey shadow to fill in her brows? Any shade of brown? Of course. Full Story

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Tour Bangs?

August 29, 2008 08:15:56 Posted at August 29, 2008 08:15:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well this is new… The fringe, look at the fringe. Madonna at the airport in Berlin immediately following her show, going through security in a bathrobe and wearing what looks to be a new blunt set of bangs. Very severe, very not sweet. Makes her look even more like a herm tranny. Actually makes her look like La Pequena Full Story

Porny interior design

August 26, 2008 09:49:14 Posted at August 26, 2008 09:49:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Tony Romo bought a new house in Dallas: over 5,000 sq ft, 5 bedrooms, a rec room , and a pool in a gated community with a golf course. Nice. Even better? The price! Only $700K! Why only? Because here in Vancouver, where real estate is becoming criminal, $700K MIGHT be able to buy you a 2 bedroom townhouse on the west side – 1,200 sq ft MAX with no outdoor space. Full Story