Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Robo Couture

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 13, 2008 13:38:54 August 13, 2008 13:38:54

This dress she wore at Tropic Thunder the other night – apparently KatE designed it herself. With the help of her stylist. You likey? I don’t know. To me it looks messy. The halter strap seems unfinished, the material cheap, and the way it’s folding around her hips is kinda budget bridesmaid. Full Story

They’re Back…with heels

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 13, 2008 08:37:43 August 13, 2008 08:37:43

The web-wide obsession has returned. This time accessorised. With heels. Check out Katie Holmes in her gay midget jeans, cuffed and rolled, and sitting atop a pair of gorgeous heels that aren’t for the lazy. 5 minutes to take on and off, non? She’s loving it and of course the GMD is loving it too. Full Story

Robo Married A Dork

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 12, 2008 06:39:46 August 12, 2008 06:39:46

Look at him. Wearing every colour under the rainbow, no pun intended, and too new jeans….and a jacket that shines? It shines! It shines with a sheen! Have you ever seen anyone as UNcool as Tom Cruise? Why work so hard working out only to wear a purple sweater in Los Angeles in the middle of f&cking August??? Here they are at last night’s Tropic Thunder premiere scaring the sh*t out of everyone, as usual, with their over-exuberance. Full Story

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Robo Jean Parade

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 11, 2008 06:31:00 August 11, 2008 06:31:00

Is it deliberate? Of course it’s deliberate. Katie tired of the cuff roll on Saturday so she decided to pull out a pair of high waist wide legs. Let’s measure our reactions here, shall we? Because we’ve already seen the worst. We’ve already experienced the ultimate in high waisted delight. Full Story

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Shelf Ass the artist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 8, 2008 06:55:22 August 8, 2008 06:55:22

Shelfy Biel attended the opening of the 4th Annual Hollyshorts film festival last night because she’s such a pure artist, you know? Seriously, those bangs. Those bangs must die. As you can see, Shelf Ass is trying to dress all classy and serious. Because she wants to be taken seriously. As a pure artist, you know? Like… she’s more than just a celebrity. Full Story

Better unrolled

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 6, 2008 14:22:48 August 6, 2008 14:22:48

Better…but still sh*t. KatE continues to torture us with us those jeans. Some of you have written to posit that they’re actually the GMD’s, that he makes her wear them to be close to her. It’s totally something he would do… Only … These are TOO LONG to be his. Full Story

Robo Glam Butch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 11:33:35 August 5, 2008 11:33:35

Man or Woman? Katie Holmes is not quite there yet, but YET is the operative word. The difference is butchy girls are proud of their style choices. Katie on the other hand really wants to be girly but must honour her husband and play like a man. This is Katie heading to rehearsal today in NYC, still wearing those assy jeans, but now they’re paired with accessories. Full Story

Robo Androgynous

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2008 06:19:46 August 4, 2008 06:19:46

I was wrong. When she wore skinnys last week, I was wrong in saying she could read, read what we’ve been saying about these jeans. Because the jeans are back. The jeans are here to stay. The Robobride androgynous jeans are now an intrinsic part of KatE Holmes. Just like her ass awful hair. And her geriatric style. Full Story

She can read!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 1, 2008 08:35:00 August 1, 2008 08:35:00

MUCH better. So.Much.Better. This is Katie Holmes today in NYC, thankfully NOT wearing those jeans. You know those jeans. Perhaps she perused the internets? Perhaps Posh called her to give a girl a tip? Hell nah. Full Story

Posh …the GMD… and Madge too?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:16:06 July 28, 2008 06:16:06

You remember the sneaker wedges, don’t you? Remember when Posh wore them to throw out the first pitch at the Dodger’s game last year? And then Tom Cruise borrowed them for Little Sci’s birthday party in April? Photos are attached. Remember??? Posh and the GMD … understandable. Full Story

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The Bad Gay Influence

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 25, 2008 07:55:07 July 25, 2008 07:55:07

It’s a shocking title. Because normally you’d think there really is no such thing. But Ken Paves is an anomaly. Ken Paves is, maybe, the only gay on the face of the earth whose hag always looks WORSE when he’s around. Consider the magnitude of this statement: Jessica Simpson is more attractive under the watch of her locker room stinky, football playing, jock strap wearing boyfriend than she is with her Main ‘Mo. Full Story