Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

She can read!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 1, 2008 08:35:00 August 1, 2008 08:35:00

MUCH better. So.Much.Better. This is Katie Holmes today in NYC, thankfully NOT wearing those jeans. You know those jeans. Perhaps she perused the internets? Perhaps Posh called her to give a girl a tip? Hell nah. Full Story

Posh …the GMD… and Madge too?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:16:06 July 28, 2008 06:16:06

You remember the sneaker wedges, don’t you? Remember when Posh wore them to throw out the first pitch at the Dodger’s game last year? And then Tom Cruise borrowed them for Little Sci’s birthday party in April? Photos are attached. Remember??? Posh and the GMD … understandable. Full Story

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The Bad Gay Influence

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 25, 2008 07:55:07 July 25, 2008 07:55:07

It’s a shocking title. Because normally you’d think there really is no such thing. But Ken Paves is an anomaly. Ken Paves is, maybe, the only gay on the face of the earth whose hag always looks WORSE when he’s around. Consider the magnitude of this statement: Jessica Simpson is more attractive under the watch of her locker room stinky, football playing, jock strap wearing boyfriend than she is with her Main ‘Mo. Full Story

The Thinnification of the GMD

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 06:55:15 July 21, 2008 06:55:15

There were photos published very recently of the GMD taking his shirt off, showing off some middle aged back fat. A meltdown, mental AND physical, clearly ensued. Because Tom Cruise turned up at a racing event in Laguna Seca on Sunday showing off a much more streamlined physique. Check out those skinny jeans! As far as jeans are concerned though, his wife’s are hurting. Full Story

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Hermy Shelfy at the ESPYs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2008 16:00:00 July 17, 2008 16:00:00

And she TRIED. She totally tried. The shoes will tell you that. She tried and she SUCKED!!! Check out Shelf Ass Jessica Biel at the ESPYs last night where her Pippy was hosting. It’s the bangs, it’s the greasy pinhead ponytail, it’s a man wearing the tanktop and a skirt. Justin Timberlake is dating a herm. Full Story

Bride Hair at the ESPYs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2008 06:42:30 July 17, 2008 06:42:30

Don’t know what she was thinking with this hair. Seriously...it’s the worst. Like at the Costume Institute Gala. Like bride hair. Like not stylish. At all. Even though she says she has an eye for it. That she considers herself fashionable. That fashion is her “industry.” And still she decided to get her hair done at Dolly Parton’s salon from Steel Magnolias. Full Story

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Little Tom, Big Lift!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2008 09:03:39 July 16, 2008 09:03:39

Eagle-eye Jamie K pointed this out after analysing the GMD photos from earlier. Note that he’s borrowing Victoria Beckhams trainer wedges again! LOVE the man-wedges! What do you reckon? At least an inch and a half? Photos from Wenn.com  Full Story

Stay-at-home dad

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2008 06:50:21 July 16, 2008 06:50:21

Katie Holmes was on set at Eli Stone yesterday to shoot a cameo – the GMD brought Little Sci to visit mom at work. And also to check up on her, making sure there’s no secret getaway plan. After all, Johnny Lee Miller was once married to Angelina Jolie. And Johnny Lee Miller is infinitely sexier than the Gay Midget Dwarf. Full Story

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Tits & Romo in Tahoe

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 14, 2008 06:09:30 July 14, 2008 06:09:30

Tony Romo played in a golf tournament at Lake Tahoe the other day, Jessica Simpson flew in to join him with her sister and brother-in-law. As you can see, Jess, wearing white, tried to sneak into the event incognito. Very subtle. While in Tahoe Jess and Tony also showed up at the Heart concert. Holy sh*t. Full Story

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Jess and the Maxi Dress

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 3, 2008 08:03:43 July 3, 2008 08:03:43

Here’s Jessica Simpson yesterday spending time with a friend’s baby and also her Main Gay Ken Paves. Am not a fan of the maxi dress on regular sized, not tall girls. Not flattering. And something about the fact that your feet can’t be seen…it’s weird. On a red carpet, at a gala…fine. Full Story

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Tina Makes Hair too?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 25, 2008 07:01:00 June 25, 2008 07:01:00

All too familiar with her tacky ass dress designs… now is Tina Knowles designing weave too? This is Solange Knowles, B’s sister, last night on the carpet at the BET Awards. The hair…. What.The.Ass is up with that hair??? Why is everything so cheap? Why did she rip off shoes from an Asian rub’n’tug? Why are they still letting their mother dictate their style??? Photos from Splashnewsonline.com Full Story