Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

The MET Anti-Rooney: Kate Mara

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2013 10:27:11 May 7, 2013 10:27:11
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Getty

Duana brought it up: that Kate Mara actively dresses exactly the opposite of her sister. Which must be the reason she went for this heinous baby doll with a terribly matched pair of heels. Come on, really? This is the best Kate Mara could do? No, she's not an Oscar-nominated film star but House Of Cards isn't insignificant either and besides, she was just in Prada Full Story

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Worst MET White: Katie Holmes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2013 10:04:31 May 7, 2013 10:04:31
TIMOTHY A. CLARY/ Dimitrios Kambouris/ Getty

Totally clueless. It's a white dress with a ring collar. And? This is something Katie Holmes, Mrs Cruise the lobotomised, would have chosen. This is not something Katie Holmes, the single mother ninja who engineered a daring escape from the clutches of Scientology, should be choosing FOR F-CK's SAKE. Full Story

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MET Most Sympathetic: Kate Upton

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2013 08:46:47 May 7, 2013 08:46:47
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Getty

Last year, Kate Upton, unlike most other models, had to offer to pay her way into the MET Gala. Click here for a refresher. This year, Oh My God, look what happened to her. There is no snark here. There is no pleasure. There is only sympathy, truly. Full Story

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Red Taffeta at the MET: Kate Beckinsale

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2013 08:27:29 May 7, 2013 08:27:29
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Getty

Red Taffeta. At the MET Gala. With an asymmetrical hem. It’s offensive. If you have to do taffeta, you do it like Christina Ricci -- more on her later. Red Taffeta you save for Julie Bowen, at the Emmy Awards. Or, you know, for a 60th wedding anniversary. I can’t even with the gathering of the fabric there at the waist. Full Story

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WORST MET Eyes: January Jones

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2013 08:17:37 May 7, 2013 08:17:37
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Getty

Here I am in a sequined black dress you could easily find at French Connection, my eyes weirded up with black liner, and I’ll call it enough for punk at the MET Gala. Sure... If you’re Kate Moss, fine. If you’re Chloe Sevigny, OK. But if you’re January Jones? Who can’t make a paternity scandal interesting? Let me sit you next to Amber Heard so that you can disappear together. Full Story

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Imitation of Scarjo at the MET: Amber Heard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2013 07:59:32 May 7, 2013 07:59:32
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Getty

Let me just say it. Because I feel like this is what they want: To convince us that Amber Heard is the new Scarlett Johansson. Amber Heard is not Scarlett Johansson. Johnny Depp can try as hard as he wants to, but it’s not happening. You can keep selling her to me as a bombshell and I will keep telling you: I am bored. Full Story

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MET Debutante Mom: Anna Wintour

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2013 07:15:45 May 7, 2013 07:15:45
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Rob Kim/ Getty

Anna Wintour wore floral Chanel. And punk. I mean, as the boss lady of the show, this is super weak. And it’s not like she’s never been game. After all, at the Super Heroes themed MET Gala a few years ago, she also wore Chanel with weird animal horns on her hips. That time she brought it. Full Story

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Leo’s open shirt

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 30, 2013 14:47:56 April 30, 2013 14:47:56
JB Nicholas/ Splash, Vera Anderson/ Getty, Keystone

The Great Gatsby junket happened in New York this weekend. Here’s Leonardo DiCaprio at the press conference. Are you feeling his open shirt? I am not feeling his open shirt. Would it kill him to sell this movie the way he looks in this movie?!? This is not important to the Actor, Lainey. Really? You don’t think his appearance had anything to do with why Baz Luhrmann put him in the f-cking movie? I love the way he looks in the movie. Full Story

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That thing on your chin and your hand on your hip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2013 15:37:40 April 18, 2013 15:37:40
Marianna Massey /Getty, KHAP /Splash News, FameFlynet

John Travolta and Kelly Preston are in Sydney, Australia today for the Qantas gala. As you can see, he persists with that singular patch of black spike on his chin, leftover perhaps from all the follicle regeneration they performed on his head, like a lonely piece of sod that, for some reason, got separated from his family, looking forlornly at the lawn that grows in solidarity while he’s stuck between two pieces of sidewalk. Full Story

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The middle-aged Timberlakes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 15, 2013 20:33:48 April 15, 2013 20:33:48

If you’ve been reading this column a while, you know how much I love golf. I love it. Jacek is obsessed with it. He golfs year round. It’s all he can talk about, think about, to the point where he’s forbidden from doing so when we see some of our friends because nobody wants to be bored. Full Story

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His and her travel footwear

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2013 19:13:32 March 25, 2013 19:13:32
Jun Sato/ Getty

Gina Carano and her boyfriend Henry Cavill arrived in Tokyo yesterday. We’re now just 10 weeks out from the Man Of Steel release. Which means they’ll be pushing Cavill out heavy soon. And still, amazingly, they haven’t forced him to not have a girlfriend. Please don’t push him to not have a girlfriend, especially this girlfriend. Full Story