Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Justin didn’t fix the shoe problem

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 17, 2011 17:15:23 October 17, 2011 17:15:23
Photos:
Kevin Winter/Eric Charbonneau/Getty

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux attended the American CInematheque even in honour of Robert Downey Jr on Friday in Beverly Hills. I like him in a black on black suit. It’s too bad he couldn’t help her with her shoe problem. Look at her shoes. Bash your head against your desk. WHY does this keep happening? In other Jennifer Aniston news, Jacek and I stayed in on Friday night after getting home from a 10 day trip to Toronto and Montreal. Full Story

View All 17 Photos

You are not Lenny Kravitz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2011 19:30:06 October 4, 2011 19:30:06
Photos:
Bauer, KCSPresse/Splash

Definitely have a double standard going here. Call me on it, please. Because if Lenny Kravitz were walking around Paris Fashion Week like this, I’d be totally ok with it. But ... Jared Leto isn’t Lenny Kravitz. Jared Leto walking around Paris Fashion Week like this just looks like a loser. Unfair? Would I be less unfair if I was more of a fan of his music? If I considered him a “rock star” would I be more tolerant of his try-full “rock star” stylings? Rock Star or Pop Star? I want there to be a difference. Full Story

Robo Scarecrow

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2011 19:00:38 October 4, 2011 19:00:38
Photos:
FameFlynet

Scarecrow is what I thought of when I saw Katie Holmes in these jeans. Gumby Scarecrow? Scarecrow Gumby? Whatever it is, it’s f-cking the worst. And here’s my answer to that one person, there’s always one, who will argue that she just wanted to be comfortable so don’t judge her for her weird ass coveralls. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Porny’s having a baby?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 27, 2011 21:27:22 September 27, 2011 21:27:22
Photos:
Flynet

I have no idea. But In Touch Eye-Roll Weekly is claiming to have the exclusive. They’ve supposedly “confirmed” that Jessica Simpson is pregnant with that freeloader’s baby. Porny’s “kooky” cravings include “nacho chips dipped in chocolate and cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas”. Full Story

JLo at the club

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 26, 2011 19:41:36 September 26, 2011 19:41:36
Photos:
Mr O /Splash, Kevin Mazur /Wireimage

Jennifer Lopez was in Vegas this weekend for the iHeartRadio music festival. She also made an appearance at Pure Nightclub. Translation: they threw a LOT of money at her to show up. Why do I find these pictures of JLo, dancing and grinding up on the Strip, really, really cringe-y? Is this unfair? It’s what you’d expect of a Kardashian. Full Story

View All 13 Photos

If you’re not the bride...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 22, 2011 14:22:40 September 22, 2011 14:22:40

Would you choose this dress? Like, I get it that not all white dresses are necessarily bridal dresses, obviously. But this dress, seen here on Geri Halliwell at the Raisa Gorbachev Foundation party in London, THIS dress could only be a bridal dress. Right??? It was a fancy person party, yes. Fancy person gowns were preferred, of course. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

Emmy 2011 Worst: Zooey Deschanel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 11:38:20 September 19, 2011 11:38:20

Am I supposed to picture her plucking the petals off of some flower, in a meadow, while her bike leans against a tree, as beams of sunlight filter through her eyelashes and her voice skips across the clouds, carried by the wind... is the picture Zooey Deschanel is conjuring? Because all I want to do is punch the hipster who thinks this would be a good dress for a garden party in the middle of goddamn January as a scene in a screenplay called 10,000 Ways To Find Corduroy Annoying. Full Story

Worst Emmy Hair: Elisabeth Moss

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 09:08:02 September 19, 2011 09:08:02

Elisabeth Moss was born in 1982. She’s only 29 years old. She’s YOUNGER THAN BRITNEY SPEARS. Now that this has been thrown in your face, it makes her hair last night even more offensive, right? How does a 29 year old girl show up at the Emmys with Allison Janney’s 1960s old lady helmet from The Help? This is the kind of sh-t that makes me so angry. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Worst Emmy White: Julianna Margulies

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 07:14:00 September 19, 2011 07:14:00

She wore a ceramic coffee mug. This is what I called it, even before I rolled my eyes at her win over Connie Britton’s Tami Taylor. Julianna Margulies is the uninspired vote. Because if you’ve had the pleasure of watching Britton on Friday Night Lights, well, you know it would be impossible to award the Emmy to Kyle Chandler without acknowledging her work. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Worst Dress as an Organism: Heidi Klum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 06:46:14 September 19, 2011 06:46:14

Etalk has sent me on two or three baking shoots. And each time I’ve had to ice a cake. You’re supposed to hold the icing bag and delicately pulse it around in the shape of shells or rosebuds. I suck at it. My sh-t ends up looking like whatever it is growing on Heidi Klum’s dress which, at first, I thought was clumpy cake icing but as the night wore on and as more photos emerged, became something even more terrifying. Full Story

View All 8 Photos