Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

JLo at the club

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 26, 2011 19:41:36 September 26, 2011 19:41:36
Photos:
Mr O /Splash, Kevin Mazur /Wireimage

Jennifer Lopez was in Vegas this weekend for the iHeartRadio music festival. She also made an appearance at Pure Nightclub. Translation: they threw a LOT of money at her to show up. Why do I find these pictures of JLo, dancing and grinding up on the Strip, really, really cringe-y? Is this unfair? It’s what you’d expect of a Kardashian. Full Story

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If you’re not the bride...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 22, 2011 14:22:40 September 22, 2011 14:22:40

Would you choose this dress? Like, I get it that not all white dresses are necessarily bridal dresses, obviously. But this dress, seen here on Geri Halliwell at the Raisa Gorbachev Foundation party in London, THIS dress could only be a bridal dress. Right??? It was a fancy person party, yes. Fancy person gowns were preferred, of course. Full Story

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Emmy 2011 Worst: Zooey Deschanel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 11:38:20 September 19, 2011 11:38:20

Am I supposed to picture her plucking the petals off of some flower, in a meadow, while her bike leans against a tree, as beams of sunlight filter through her eyelashes and her voice skips across the clouds, carried by the wind... is the picture Zooey Deschanel is conjuring? Because all I want to do is punch the hipster who thinks this would be a good dress for a garden party in the middle of goddamn January as a scene in a screenplay called 10,000 Ways To Find Corduroy Annoying. Full Story

Worst Emmy Hair: Elisabeth Moss

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 09:08:02 September 19, 2011 09:08:02

Elisabeth Moss was born in 1982. She’s only 29 years old. She’s YOUNGER THAN BRITNEY SPEARS. Now that this has been thrown in your face, it makes her hair last night even more offensive, right? How does a 29 year old girl show up at the Emmys with Allison Janney’s 1960s old lady helmet from The Help? This is the kind of sh-t that makes me so angry. Full Story

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Worst Emmy White: Julianna Margulies

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 07:14:00 September 19, 2011 07:14:00

She wore a ceramic coffee mug. This is what I called it, even before I rolled my eyes at her win over Connie Britton’s Tami Taylor. Julianna Margulies is the uninspired vote. Because if you’ve had the pleasure of watching Britton on Friday Night Lights, well, you know it would be impossible to award the Emmy to Kyle Chandler without acknowledging her work. Full Story

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Worst Dress as an Organism: Heidi Klum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2011 06:46:14 September 19, 2011 06:46:14

Etalk has sent me on two or three baking shoots. And each time I’ve had to ice a cake. You’re supposed to hold the icing bag and delicately pulse it around in the shape of shells or rosebuds. I suck at it. My sh-t ends up looking like whatever it is growing on Heidi Klum’s dress which, at first, I thought was clumpy cake icing but as the night wore on and as more photos emerged, became something even more terrifying. Full Story

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Baby bumps & Bodyguards

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 14, 2011 12:01:04 September 14, 2011 12:01:04

It occurred to me that you could, in theory, bitch on Olivia Wilde’s ass for making everyone look like sh-t last night at the Butter premiere. But then again, Jennifer Garner has her own personal bodyguard. So there’s no reason she can’t find a better dress. Is a pink sparkly ballet bridesmaid cotton candy tinkerbell REALLY the best choice for a pregnant lady? Really??? It’s infantile and gross. Full Story

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TIFF 2011: Sasha’s Watch List

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 8, 2011 09:27:34 September 8, 2011 09:27:34

Written by Sasha Starting today some serious star wattage will be hitting the streets of T-dot. My peepers will be wide open for the flyest gear, but before it starts rolling out let’s get our s-TIFF-ies for who’s coming to town. Full Story

Katie Holmes was the night’s biggest star?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 29, 2011 07:36:30 August 29, 2011 07:36:30

The presentation of the final award at any awards show is usually reserved for most high profile guest in attendance. Last night that responsibility fell to Katie Holmes. Were they short on names? Will Ferrell was there. So was Jack Black. I’m not saying either of them are traditional final award presenter material but they’re easily bigger stars than Katie Holmes. Full Story

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Can you find a kind feeling?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 24, 2011 14:32:12 August 24, 2011 14:32:12

This is Ashton Kutcher arriving at Letterman presumably to promote his new starring role on Two and a Half Men. When Ashton obscures his looks, and he’s a very good looking man, there are very few kind things I can find to say about him. Look at him. He looks like a smug douche. With his try to be cheeky bowtie and his try to be I just grabbed these wrinkled pants pants and his I’m so much smarter and techier than you expression. Full Story