Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Met Prom: Ashley Greene & Jennifer Hudson

May 3, 2011 06:05:16 Posted at May 3, 2011 06:05:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Met Gala is not the prom. But you know, without fail, some people come to this thing thinking it’s like their own wedding. This explains why Jennifer Hudson chose Vera Wang. That’s a wedding dress, it’s a prom dress, it’s certainly not a high fashion dress, but then again, Andre Leon Talley once styled her for the Oscars like an asshole so maybe she’s a little gun shy in the sartorial game. Full Story

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17-off at the Met: Dakota & Saoirse

May 3, 2011 05:31:17 Posted at May 3, 2011 05:31:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I suppose, if there’s anyone who could get away with the Valentino flower tulle explosion worn by Dakota Fanning at the Met Gala it was probably Dakota Fanning. She’s 17. Prom is still within the parametres of her actual experience. But f-ck is this thing ever ugly. And you have to wonder – did they really design this for 18 and under? I don’t think so. Full Story

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Douches on a carpet

May 2, 2011 10:14:46 Posted at May 2, 2011 10:14:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Tiger Jam happened in Vegas this weekend. How do you look less douchey? Stand next to someone super-douchey. Like, I don’t mind Keith Urban’s hair so much when Tiger Woods’s shirt and John Mayer’s hat get in the way. Right? I don’t give a sh-t who you are… Prince Hot Harry on a Horse couldn’t pull off that goddamn shirt. Full Story

Red Hair hid the Nails

April 28, 2011 13:11:28 Posted at April 28, 2011 13:11:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

All the attention yesterday was focused on Blake Lively's new red hair following her appearane at the Time 100 Most Influential People of 2011 gala. So much so that it obscured another detail. Thanks to Lorraine for the email pointing this out. Look at her nails. Is Barbra Streisand coming back? This how my ma wears her nails. Full Story

Katie Holmes > Ashton Kutcher

April 28, 2011 12:05:26 Posted at April 28, 2011 12:05:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A few weeks ago Star Magazine put Katie Holmes on the cover. It was a scandalous headline about drugs but on the inside it was really just an article about some Scientology method and that she’s really into it, much like some people can be really into running marathons, or activities of that require similar ridiculous effort. Full Story

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But why not Porny?

April 27, 2011 13:29:47 Posted at April 27, 2011 13:29:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson lived up to my nickname for her last night at the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood Style Issue party in LA. Looks like a fluffer was hired to jerk off her hair. And she was honoured with the “Style Icon” award. Sure. In fairness, this isn’t the worst she’s ever looked. Full Story

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Scarlett’s boyfriend and his hair gel

April 27, 2011 12:23:03 Posted at April 27, 2011 12:23:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sean Penn showed up at the premiere of Love Hate Love at the Tribeca Film Festival last night in a skinny tie with some gel in his hair like he was trying to work a little Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen into his life. Maybe Scarjo likes it that way. Running her hands through it when it’s all sticky, after she removes her foot off of his balls. Full Story

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Influential Blake is now red

April 27, 2011 10:20:47 Posted at April 27, 2011 10:20:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Time 100 gala took place in New York last night honouring its list of 100 Most Influential People in the World which, as reported last week, includes Blake Lively. There are too many riddles in life. Sometimes you just have to move on. As you can see, she debuted a new look – red hair replacing her trademark blonde. Full Story

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Trading with Lola

April 26, 2011 08:49:05 Posted at April 26, 2011 08:49:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What was Lola wearing yesterday? So far there’ve been no photos of Madonna’s daughter. I want to know if her outfit here came from her own closet or if she was borrowing from her firstborn. This is Madonna in New York going back to the Borderline a little yesterday in torn up jeans under a plaid shirt and leather jacket. Full Story

Not his best day

April 22, 2011 10:33:05 Posted at April 22, 2011 10:33:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Bang Bang Club screened at the Tribeca Film Festival today. Malin Ackerman, Ryan Phillippe, and Taylor Kitsch were all present. I don’t know what’s happening with Taylor’s hair but it’s hurting me, like actual physical pain. Obviously not his best showing. Having said that, yay for him hanging out with DeNiro on red carpets! But back to the hair… Is it long in the back or short? Is it in a ponytail? Is that a combover? Why am I including the word COMBOVER in an article about Taylor Kitsch????????????? The world hates me. Full Story

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Famewhore maybe couples & really bad hair

April 21, 2011 08:55:00 Posted at April 21, 2011 08:55:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Now that Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and the major producers of the Twilight franchise have left Vancouver, the lower tier actors are walking on looser leashes. Which is why a couple of them, after several weeks of being ordered to stay undercover, were wide open and accessible for papping yesterday during their final days of production. Full Story

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