Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Little Sci is the only explanation…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 16, 2011 07:55:51 March 16, 2011 07:55:51

For why Katie Holmes stepped out like this in New York last night. The only. After all, she has said before that Suri picks out her clothes. God I hope so. Because if a grown woman had put all this together, and one who calls herself a “designer” at that, well f-ck me it’s worse than we all thought. Full Story

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Speaking of gambling…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 16, 2011 07:17:26 March 16, 2011 07:17:26

Despite numerous reports that she can barely hold her sh-t together, NBC is going ahead with confirming Christina Aguilera as one of the four judges on its new show The Voice, premiering in April. The press conference happened yesterday. She looks busted, always, but maybe not as busted as she’s been lately, which is just a fancy way of saying that this is her sh-t to her past diarrhoea. Full Story

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Why can’t you get your hair right?!?!?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 14, 2011 07:53:00 March 14, 2011 07:53:00

I mean… I just shouted out in anger in the middle of the living room at 12:30am at Duana’s on Saturday night/Sunday morning while writing this because F-CK, why can’t Katherine Heigl ever get her goddamn hair right?!?!? She’s 32. She’s not 62. She’s tall and pretty, with the kind of good looks that don’t necessarily intimidate, belying the fact that she’s actually a mouthy ungrateful bitch. Full Story

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Underwear lines

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 7, 2011 14:14:01 March 7, 2011 14:14:01

I hate underwear lines. Underwear lines are very democratic. Even skinny girls get underwear lines. Look at Sienna Miller in London the other night signing autographs for fans after her play. The alternative to underwear lines of course is having a piece of string they call a thong or a g ride up your crack – the most uncomfortable sh-t EVER. Full Story

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Oscar Worsts: Gwyneth Paltrow & Nicole Kidman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2011 15:45:42 February 28, 2011 15:45:42

In this episode of Everyone Loves Gwyneth, here she is with Nicole Kidman on the carpet last night holding hands. Kidman almost always towers over any woman she stands beside. Gwyneth really is that tall. I was delighted they decided to be all friends and girly together, considering they both looked like so much ass. Full Story

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Oscar Baywatch: Jennifer Lawrence

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2011 10:42:11 February 28, 2011 10:42:11

I’m not saying she didn’t look good. She looked great. Gorgeous. Hot. Super sexy. But you can’t deny that’s exacly the same shade of red. And it’s cut exactly like an elongated swimsuit. She could be running in slow motion down the beach…which…well… it’s not exactly the spirit of the Oscars, you know? I’m not sure we should be invoking the names David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson at the Oscars, you know? Photos from Wenn.com Full Story

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Sandra Bullock – Worst One Year Later

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2011 10:32:39 February 28, 2011 10:32:39

Written by Duana Oh Sandra. Honey, what was going on tonight? Everyone knows tonight was a moment for you – that even though you were talking about what a great experience it is to win, that all you could think about was the beginning of the end that was last year. Full Story

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Oscar Fringe & Tail: Emma Stone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2011 09:34:50 February 28, 2011 09:34:50

Duana saw these photos before I did. I was heading back from the press room when my Blackberry went off with a note from her that read “you’re not going to like Emma Stone”. She was right. Very, very disappointed. This is Emma Stone at the Vanity Fair party. The fringe ages her. A lot. Full Story

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Worst Biscuit Dress: Florence Welch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2011 09:13:38 February 28, 2011 09:13:38

Written by Duana Florence of Florence and the Machine – who’s informally Florence Welch - obviously has a lot to be happy about. Not the least of which is being invited to perform at the Academy Awards. But did she look like she was enjoying herself? Or – let me rephrase – did she look, even marginally, like she was able to raise her energy level above ‘barely conscious and watching reruns on the couch’? If you’re tired or ill or something, fake it. Full Story

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Worst Oscar Hair: Reese Witherspoon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2011 08:16:00 February 28, 2011 08:16:00

Jesus. Who made this call? The only, only, only positive here are the earrings. Everything else is an Elle Woods homage to Julia Roberts. But it’s the hair that’s really the crime here. The dress is for a hostess but it’s the hair that really fills me with rage. Obviously the homemaker aspect of it is offensive in itself, but also… the fact that it requires a hairpiece to pull off, one of those tacky ass accessories you can order off the tv – WHY is this happening to Reese Witherspoon? She doesn’t usually f-ck it up so badly. Full Story

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Oscar Breasts: Jennifer Hudson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2011 07:11:01 February 28, 2011 07:11:01

I am predisposed to not like this material. I don’t like taffeta. Ever. Taffeta often comes in offensive colours. Always loud. Always really mall prom. It doesn’t scream style to me. It certainly isn’t fresh. And on Jennifer Hudson, with her new Weight Watchers body that gets shoved down our throats all the time, I feel like it was a total disservice. Full Story

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