Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

SAG Possessed Bride: Winona Ryder

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2011 08:48:28 January 31, 2011 08:48:28

Why is my girl so crazy? Half the time she looks, like, stunned to be there. And it’s not like Winona Ryder is a stranger to these occasions. Quite the opposite, in fact. Winona should be very familiar with an awards season. But it’s still like a caged animal on display, big brown eyes darting around, ready to flee at a moment’s notice. Full Story

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SAG Just Miss: Jennifer Lawrence

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2011 07:16:08 January 31, 2011 07:16:08

What an eyesore. And I don’t just mean the colour. It’s the colour and the details. The black details. That black belt. And those black shoes, made clunkier by contrast… it was all a little amateur. Which, frankly, I find rather endearing. She is the middle class girl in the movie who gets invited to the country club for the first time and doesn’t get it quite right. Full Story

Worst SAG Headband: Kate Mara

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2011 06:32:00 January 31, 2011 06:32:00

Also known as the sister of Lisbeth Salander, Rooney Mara. Kate is dating Max Minghella who starred with Rooney in The Social Network. They also, Kate and Max, worked together on an upcoming film called Ten Year. Kate is so periphery I normally wouldn’t include her in this kind of wrap-up but her dress and her headgear were so jarring when I was browsing through photos, I couldn’t not show you, just in case you missed her. Full Story

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Worst SAG Breasts: Naya Rivera

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2011 06:20:00 January 31, 2011 06:20:00

One of the Glee nominated clips they used during the telecast was Jane Lynch’s Sue Sylvester telling Naya Rivera’s Santana that she wasn’t down with “plastics”. Too bad they didn’t cut to Naya’s face right after. It’s particularly egregious on someone so young and beautiful, who clearly didn’t need to mess with nature, who, in doing so, looks increasingly freakish and distended. Full Story

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Gwyneth, you look like sh-t

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2011 08:23:02 January 18, 2011 08:23:02

Jesus, this is bad. Maybe even the worst. Gwyneth was in Geneva yesterday at the Baume & Mercier Gala. She’s their new ambassador or something. I wonder if they regret their choice. Because on one of the first occasions she’s representing them, she looks like total f-cking ass. Goddamn, what is happening to her face? It’s blotchy, it looks burned, it’s gaunt, her hair is lank, she seems tired… Gwyneth is a lot of things, and she can look a lot of ways, but Gwyneth rarely, if ever, looks low classy. Full Story

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Globes Worst: Jennifer Lopez

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2011 12:41:30 January 17, 2011 12:41:30

This dress was an asshole. I mean… The glitter shawl. Is she poor? Middle aged bride? Arlene’s Dress Emporium? Nope. It’s Zuhair Murad. Which, when I found out, didn’t surprise me. I have never liked a Zuhair Murad. You know who wears a lot of Zuhair Murad? Two names: Carrie Underwood and Miley Cyrus. Full Story

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A Sister Wife at the Globes: Angelina Jolie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2011 11:42:04 January 17, 2011 11:42:04

It’s Duana’s reference. And if you don’t get it, it means that Angelina Jolie looks like she’s Wife #8 in Bountiful, BC. That, or a settler. Goddamn this f-cking dress. And the hair. Sasha called it Michelle Duggar. Not having an image of Michelle Duggar in my mind, I had to look it up. Full Story

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Berry’s Blonde Ambition at the Globes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2011 11:33:22 January 17, 2011 11:33:22

This is Halle Berry in Nina Ricci. The way she styled it was for ass. It’s really not the night for a revival of Madonna’s Blonde Ambition. And with those shoes… awful, I know it’s awful. But, but, but, but… She is SO f-cking beautiful. I mean the whole night… Drool, right? I can’t hate it. Full Story

Globe Fontrum: Natalie Portman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2011 11:06:27 January 17, 2011 11:06:27
Photos:
Wenn.com and Handout/ Jason Merritt/ Gettyimages.com

It’s official. It’s over. The love affair, the affection, the girl crush, Natalie Portman…it’s over. Motherf-CK she was annoying. From the French Twist, to the pink sateen towel, to that red rose, and then the Tender Moment… Did you see the Tender Moment? Her name is called. Full Story

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Michelle Williams

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2011 10:51:54 January 17, 2011 10:51:54

Written by Duana Anyone who knows me or has been reading anything I’m allowed to write here knows I’ve got no time for cutesy-poos. I am not a Portman fan, though that’s well-documented elsewhere. I have very little time for anyone that most people think is gorgeous and precious and delicate – Claire Danes can, at times, fall into this category, as can Dianna Agron. Full Story

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Mad Men Girls at the Globes: Jones (& Moss)

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2011 10:27:59 January 17, 2011 10:27:59

Written by Duana Did you see January Jones? Did you love it? Did you see her reminding you, in case you forgot, why all the Walking Deads and the Boardwalk Empires in the world will not sway you from your original cable network love? Aside from the two very obvious reasons up front, Jones is awesome because she’s angling for something so different than the other girls. Full Story

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