Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Gwyneth Paltrow: Swifty for her star

December 13, 2010 14:22:21 Posted at December 13, 2010 14:22:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

GOOP received her star on the Walk of Fame today. Totally masturbatory exercise, obviously, in time to support Country Strong. Which is why Tim McGraw and Shana Feste were there, her co-star and director, and also Faith Hill, and Matthew Morrison too, just to remind you that she sang on Glee. By the way, it was confirmed today that she’d be back on the show for a second appearance. Full Story

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Jolie’s hair & the Chosen One Nutcracker

December 7, 2010 14:08:53 Posted at December 7, 2010 14:08:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Fresh off her premiere last night, the Jolie was right back at it today with her first four children. Check out Maddox all gangsta with his fur hood. And Miss Zahara who couldn’t help but break bitchface to laugh with her sister the Chosen One who has apparently decided to style herself in the holiday spirit. Full Story

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Can’t you help her with her hair?

December 7, 2010 07:15:34 Posted at December 7, 2010 07:15:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please. Brad Pitt knows. How to dress. Always. He has always cared about his appearance, he has always, always been a badass steezy motherf-cker. Look at him. See? Hot. And then there’s the Jolie, here last night at the New York premiere of The Tourist, in a very serviceable white Versace gown, but that goddamn hair like ass on her head. Full Story

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Marion Cotillard: the inevitable question

December 6, 2010 12:25:22 Posted at December 6, 2010 12:25:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Cotillard attended the Marrakesh Film Festival this weekend – first the opening gala, where she wore that print dress with the feathers around the collar, and then the Tribute to French Cinema, where she was dressed in black, and on both occasions... I know what you’re about to say. Full Story

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Love & Other Drugs in Australia

December 6, 2010 08:34:41 Posted at December 6, 2010 08:34:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal spent the weekend in Sydney promoting the movie. A reader there called Aphrodite K hit up the premiere and wrote me the cutest email with her observations. Today, December 6 2010, I had my first (brief, glorious) encounter with Jake Gyllenhaal, more affectionately known as Jakey G. Full Story

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Porny plays the Doctor Game & Sailor Suits

December 1, 2010 09:15:45 Posted at December 1, 2010 09:15:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My Porny Simpson’s engagement was the top story for, oh, maybe 5 minutes. Then Prince William came along and shot her ass off the front page. Swifty and Jakey kept her off too. Now the Brange is dominating the spotlight to sell their new projects... So what does a Porny do? Well, she has to fight for scraps, take whatever she can, talk to whoever will listen. Full Story

Johnny Vanity Fair & Winona at 18

November 30, 2010 07:42:00 Posted at November 30, 2010 07:42:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Finally. Something to do with Johnny Depp and The Tourist and he doesn’t look like a bloated loser, the way he’s presented in the trailer. You don’t think I want to enjoy Johnny and the Jolie, together for the first time, the way we all expect it? Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just saying that trailer scares me. Full Story

Anne, Tina, Kristen

November 19, 2010 09:05:59 Posted at November 19, 2010 09:05:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

All three were at the American Museum of Natural History 2010 Gala last night in New York. Hathaway is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. Smart of her to be around Fey and Wiig, soak up as much funny as she can. Steal some if she has to. Because Jesus the SNLs have been hurting. Even Jon Hamm’s wasn’t that great. Full Story

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Gran’s granny pants

November 17, 2010 13:00:34 Posted at November 17, 2010 13:00:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Maybe they’re not conventional granny pants, but here they just look so weird to me. Is it the angle? In combination with her turned out feet? That’s one thing about Granny Freeze – it’s what she has in common with Britney Spears. For all the elegance in the world then, it makes for a sh-tty gait. Full Story

Gran is so loved

November 11, 2010 08:13:31 Posted at November 11, 2010 08:13:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

These two are begging for an eyeroll. So let’s give them one. Granny Freeze and her husband attended the CMAs last night. As you can see, they could not contain their love for each other, resulting in an embrace in their seats, so moving and profound, that she had to CLOSE HER EYES her eyes to fully savour the moment. Full Story

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Princess AssTalk at the CMAs

November 11, 2010 07:04:59 Posted at November 11, 2010 07:04:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I posted on Twitter last night: ...the f-ck is asstalking Katherine Heigl doing at the CMAs? Maybe she's there to heckle Gwyneth Paltrow. Did you know that AssTalking Heigl has fans? They started tweet yelling at me. Something about the fact that her husband’s brother is a member of Lady Antebellum. Full Story