Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Chicken Fried – back to the studio!

August 13, 2010 07:41:34 Posted at August 13, 2010 07:41:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

That phrase to me has always been about Bridget Jones. Remember the Lewisham fire station? It’s not the ass shot that kills me, it’s always her recovery, when she thanks the fire chief, commends him on his “excellent fire station”, and then points to the camera: Back to the studio! Goddamn I loved her so much in that role. Full Story

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Twilight Tit-fat

August 9, 2010 07:08:13 Posted at August 9, 2010 07:08:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

From one Try Girl to another... Twilight’s hardest Try Girl is undoubtedly Ashley Greene. Why do the Substitutes on a team always pose harder than the Starters? Lea Michele, at least, is the headlining, uber-talented lead on a hit show. Greene is a tertiary, utterly replaceable actor in a franchise entirely dependent on its three main stars, period. Full Story

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There’s a limit to Shamef-ckery

August 4, 2010 10:22:35 Posted at August 4, 2010 10:22:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And Ed Westwick’s abuse of my quiver with his continued open shirt chest rug might just be it. Ed was in LA over the weekend and I don’t know what’s worse – the mess happening below his chin or that expression he’s making over lunch with a friend. So f-cking gross. And yet. Full Story

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Chicken Fried fixes her Sinkhole

August 4, 2010 08:53:24 Posted at August 4, 2010 08:53:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last time I posted a shot of her nasty ass weave, there was a sinkhole happening back there. Click here for a refresher if you really have to but be warned because, if you’re anything like me, the sinkhole will skeeve you. I had nightmares about that crazy sh-t in Guatemala for days. Full Story

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Stop trying to make this happen

July 30, 2010 08:42:18 Posted at July 30, 2010 08:42:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Boyfriend jeans are one thing, I guess. Because at least they’re comfortable. This though, whatever Katie Holmes is trying to make happen here, it’s not only uncomfortable, it also looks busted. Mom’s denim capris under a khaki jacket and bedazzled Loubs... it’s simply not flattering. Full Story

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Those days are gone

July 29, 2010 08:07:12 Posted at July 29, 2010 08:07:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There used to be a time when Mischa Barton could have pulled this off. Picture Sienna Miller, Kate Moss, even Leighton Meester. It doesn’t have so much to do with what Mischa looks like now but with WHO she is now. She’s not much anymore. No show, no jobs, no homes, no prospects, and therefore no steeze. Full Story

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Please. Just. Shave.

July 21, 2010 06:58:16 Posted at July 21, 2010 06:58:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like, all of it. Bald is SO underrated. And Bald is always, ALWAYS, better than this. Here’s Chicken Fried Britney hitting up a Crate & Barrel yesterday and while you think it’s (relatively) normal from the front, it turns out around and that sh-t gets frightening. I mean truly, truly disturbing. Full Story

Porny Romper

July 20, 2010 10:30:32 Posted at July 20, 2010 10:30:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

t’s not quite the high waisted horrors… but it’s not far from. It’s not far from at all. Porny in a romper, prepare yourself. Jessica Simpson went out for lunch yesterday with a friend. She thought it would be a good day for a romper and some heels. I’m all over the romper too. Full Story

Robo Tawny

July 20, 2010 08:07:55 Posted at July 20, 2010 08:07:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Remember Tawny Kitaen? I mean the original Tawny Kitaen. Here I go again on my own… Katie Holmes worked some Tawny Kitaen in the hair last night in New York. I’m actually kinda into it. Sucker for the 80s. Still, now in her 30s, that fringe is not a feng shui advantage for Robo. I also don’t understand why she decided to wear Office Heels with this dress. Full Story

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You Can’t Save Stupid

July 15, 2010 09:14:46 Posted at July 15, 2010 09:14:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Sarah Lainey and I fight over which media-hungry actress is worth saving from herself. She supports Jessica Simpson, saying that you can’t fix someone who sucks, but I say that you also can’t save stupid. With JSimp, it isn’t that she willfully takes the easy way out or makes poor choices; it’s just that she’s dumb. Full Story

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The Fringe is gone...but those tights

July 12, 2010 07:46:19 Posted at July 12, 2010 07:46:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is for a reader called Kris who wrote to me last week with a request: I've developed a completely inappropriate amount of quiver for Sam Worthington. And I need your help. To kill it or, at least, dampen it slightly? His weeness has not detracted from the quiver. Or The Fringe and her hooker shoes. Full Story