Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

There’s a limit to Shamef-ckery

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2010 10:22:35 August 4, 2010 10:22:35

And Ed Westwick’s abuse of my quiver with his continued open shirt chest rug might just be it. Ed was in LA over the weekend and I don’t know what’s worse – the mess happening below his chin or that expression he’s making over lunch with a friend. So f-cking gross. And yet. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Chicken Fried fixes her Sinkhole

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2010 08:53:24 August 4, 2010 08:53:24

Last time I posted a shot of her nasty ass weave, there was a sinkhole happening back there. Click here for a refresher if you really have to but be warned because, if you’re anything like me, the sinkhole will skeeve you. I had nightmares about that crazy sh-t in Guatemala for days. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

Stop trying to make this happen

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 30, 2010 08:42:18 July 30, 2010 08:42:18

Boyfriend jeans are one thing, I guess. Because at least they’re comfortable. This though, whatever Katie Holmes is trying to make happen here, it’s not only uncomfortable, it also looks busted. Mom’s denim capris under a khaki jacket and bedazzled Loubs... it’s simply not flattering. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Those days are gone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 29, 2010 08:07:12 July 29, 2010 08:07:12

There used to be a time when Mischa Barton could have pulled this off. Picture Sienna Miller, Kate Moss, even Leighton Meester. It doesn’t have so much to do with what Mischa looks like now but with WHO she is now. She’s not much anymore. No show, no jobs, no homes, no prospects, and therefore no steeze. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Please. Just. Shave.

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2010 06:58:16 July 21, 2010 06:58:16

Like, all of it. Bald is SO underrated. And Bald is always, ALWAYS, better than this. Here’s Chicken Fried Britney hitting up a Crate & Barrel yesterday and while you think it’s (relatively) normal from the front, it turns out around and that sh-t gets frightening. I mean truly, truly disturbing. Full Story

Porny Romper

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 20, 2010 10:30:32 July 20, 2010 10:30:32

t’s not quite the high waisted horrors… but it’s not far from. It’s not far from at all. Porny in a romper, prepare yourself. Jessica Simpson went out for lunch yesterday with a friend. She thought it would be a good day for a romper and some heels. I’m all over the romper too. Full Story

Robo Tawny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 20, 2010 08:07:55 July 20, 2010 08:07:55

Remember Tawny Kitaen? I mean the original Tawny Kitaen. Here I go again on my own… Katie Holmes worked some Tawny Kitaen in the hair last night in New York. I’m actually kinda into it. Sucker for the 80s. Still, now in her 30s, that fringe is not a feng shui advantage for Robo. I also don’t understand why she decided to wear Office Heels with this dress. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

You Can’t Save Stupid

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 15, 2010 09:14:46 July 15, 2010 09:14:46

Written by Sarah Lainey and I fight over which media-hungry actress is worth saving from herself. She supports Jessica Simpson, saying that you can’t fix someone who sucks, but I say that you also can’t save stupid. With JSimp, it isn’t that she willfully takes the easy way out or makes poor choices; it’s just that she’s dumb. Full Story

View All 19 Photos

The Fringe is gone...but those tights

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2010 07:46:19 July 12, 2010 07:46:19

This is for a reader called Kris who wrote to me last week with a request: I've developed a completely inappropriate amount of quiver for Sam Worthington. And I need your help. To kill it or, at least, dampen it slightly? His weeness has not detracted from the quiver. Or The Fringe and her hooker shoes. Full Story

Vampire conventions

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 6, 2010 14:44:55 July 6, 2010 14:44:55

These vampire conventions are everywhere. Just one season old, Vampire Diaries is popular enough to have a travelling convention. And the stars of the show were at the convention in Australia yesterday to solicit the all important international audience. This is where a lot of the money comes from – overseas syndication. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Porny’s new diet, new boyfriend, same show

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 5, 2010 07:39:27 July 5, 2010 07:39:27

Jessica Simpson tweeted last week that she was shocking her body with some kind of vegan diet. Then she showed up this weekend in West Virginia at the opening of the Casino Club at the Greenbrier Resort and I don’t see much change. Maybe it’s on the inside. Because on the outside she still makes me uncomfortable. Full Story

View All 13 Photos