Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

The First Couple of Twi-Hard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 25, 2010 09:40:28 June 25, 2010 09:40:28

They camped out for days. They rubbed their tits together with no showers waiting to get their Hearts Robbed. And he did not disappoint. Kristen Stewart however, well, as a fan of her sartorial selections most of the time, this was not her best. That’s two for two on no wins in Los Angeles. Perhaps it’s the pressure of Los Angeles. Full Story

View All 20 Photos

The obvious Ashley Greene

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 25, 2010 08:53:01 June 25, 2010 08:53:01

So the Eclipse premiere finally happened last night. And of course Ashley Greene, being the side player she is, did what she could to convince you that she’s a lead player, that she matters. Last time she tried to outdress Kristen Stewart and showed up like it was the daytime Emmy Awards – click here for a refresher Full Story

View All 12 Photos

These pictures are not for the fickle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 24, 2010 09:30:38 June 24, 2010 09:30:38

We discuss this all the time, how I can be so fickle. Laura’s Robert Pattinson problem is now 18 months old. This is a ridiculously long time for a celebrity crush. When I tell her this she tells me that I have no loyalty, and that she doesn’t understand how I can go from love to hate so quickly when my crushes are over. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Maybe not in photos?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 24, 2010 08:53:25 June 24, 2010 08:53:25

I wonder if these pants look better in person than in photos. The camera widens. It’s horribly inhumane. And unforgiving. And our Porny, she has so little margin for error. I know because I am the same. I have short stubby legs and wide shoulders. So maybe these pants looked great in person. Maybe in person they don’t give her the stumps. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

This must be his “director” hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 22, 2010 07:25:44 June 22, 2010 07:25:44

David Schwimmer showed up with fiancée Zoe Buckman last night at the Public Theatre’s Annual Gala in New York wearing an overgrown middle-aged shag like some kind of aging hipster artiste who wants us to know he’s still down. Schwimmer, you see, is a proper director now. He just directed a movie called Trust with Catherine Keener and Clive Owen about the parents of a girl who gets lured online by some kind of perv. Full Story

Not as bad as Porny but...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 22, 2010 06:54:09 June 22, 2010 06:54:09

Oh Jesus Lord, have a look at Katie Holmes in a high waisted horror reminiscent of Jessica Simpson’s high waisted hilarity only not as funny... Robo and the GMD were out and about in New York last night and this is what she decided to wear. Katie lacks body self awareness, non? No doubt she’s fit. Full Story

View All 22 Photos

JLo’s wig at the Apollo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 15, 2010 07:32:45 June 15, 2010 07:32:45

Not sure if it’s really a wig but it has that look about it, non? Also under certain light it seems green. Too bad because everything else was so right. This is Jennifer Lopez with Marc Anthony last night in New York at the 2010 Apollo Theatre Spring Benefit Concert & Award Ceremony working every amazing angle, and she has so many, in one of the most flattering dresses she’s ever put on. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

Bradley, Brady, and Renee

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2010 14:26:12 June 10, 2010 14:26:12

Tom Brady went to the Celtics/Lakers game the other night and his hair was styled like this. And then Renee Zellweger was walking around with Bradley Cooper and family yesterday in New York and she was modelling the same bowl. Why is Tom Brady pissing on his hotness by borrowing Renee’s bowl? That is problem #1. Full Story

View All 19 Photos

Mail order Tinkerbell

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2010 11:25:51 June 10, 2010 11:25:51

I appreciate trying something new, especially at her age, but remember, she’s not really her age. Like Ali Lohan, Hayden Panettiere is almost 40. So no, this isn’t keeping it fresh. In fact, wearing the dress, and the lace, and given her overall been-around-the-block Lolita breeze, Hayden’s aiming for catalogue. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Country Bitch is all smiles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2010 10:01:27 June 10, 2010 10:01:27

It’s always all smiles when the night belongs to her. And it did. Carrie Underwood took home two CMT Awards last night with her fiancé Mike Fisher looking on proudly. They’re cute together, non? And a lot of extra play for the cameras too. They reward her and she rewards them back. Full Story

View All 16 Photos