Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

MET White-Off: Kiki vs Swifty

May 4, 2010 09:20:33 Posted at May 4, 2010 09:20:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kiki. I’m with Kiki. You? Kirsten Dunst is wearing Rodarte for Gap. Compared to Emma Watson, as far as a one shoulder goes, Kiki’s is so much more interesting, especially the back. Quirky but still elegant, with personality, and totally suited to the night particularly paired with those gran boots. Full Story

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MET Ventriloquist: Christina Hendricks

May 4, 2010 08:37:57 Posted at May 4, 2010 08:37:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s that f-cking thing on her shoulder that’s the same colour as her hair so when I first starting going through the images and pulled this up I recoiled in horror because I actually thought Phoebe Price tried to crash the event with a ventriloquist dummy. It is NEVER A COMPLIMENT if I’m mistaking you for Phoebe Price. Full Story

MET Lavender Ass: Rosario Dawson & Carey Mulligan

May 4, 2010 08:27:58 Posted at May 4, 2010 08:27:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Pink, lavender, whatever... it’s ... objectionable. Like really, really insulting. I mean, that colour, it should be outlawed, with few exceptions, for people over 6, 7 max. And those weird tit cups. And that black bow. And that goddamn feather ruffle skirt. Anna please put a ban on this sh-t. Full Story

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MET Powder Bluebell Sh-t: Vera Farmiga

May 4, 2010 07:55:18 Posted at May 4, 2010 07:55:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Her dress at the Oscars was rather unpopular. And now this at the Costume Institute Gala. So ... is it official? To declare that Vera Farmiga has bad taste? Because... Like... Even if you don’t mind the colour (to me it’s offensive), and even if you can forgive those bo peep bonnet sleeves (they’re embarrassing), and even if you can overlook those tacky aunt curtains hanging off the bottom (come into my saloon!), how can you possibly justify that limp ass ribbon dangling between her breasts? It doesn’t look properly tied. Full Story

MET garden dress and her beautiful boyfriend

May 4, 2010 07:02:05 Posted at May 4, 2010 07:02:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Or is it fiancé now? All these engagements and bit players, who can keep track? Rachel Bilson also wore LV. I like it ok... but do I like it for night? Do you like it for night? Did you like it for last night? I liked him better last night. Hayden Christensen is great in a tux, and so much better than the rumply suit he wore last time Full Story

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MET Midnight Blue: Oprah > Abbie

May 4, 2010 06:46:20 Posted at May 4, 2010 06:46:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Mighty looked great. She was the host, of course, and she chose Oscar de la Renta, and for her, he was perfect. A dress that apparently took 4 people over 250 hours to finish, and it really did fit her beautifully, so flattering, and the construction is magnificent and you can tell she felt magnificent and the styling, the hair, the makeup. Full Story

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Happy Shelfy’s boots

May 3, 2010 12:16:55 Posted at May 3, 2010 12:16:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Biel’s Shelf Ass is shakin’ itself from happiness today. It spent the weekend with Justin Timberlake in New York, holding hands, wearing dumb looking boots, trying to be a Fashion Girl, and tonight that ass will be escorting the boyfriend to the Costume Institute Gala for the second year in a row. Full Story

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Yellow Porny vs the ex

May 3, 2010 11:41:19 Posted at May 3, 2010 11:41:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My Porny Simpson attended the White House Correspondents’ Dinner this weekend. I supposed it’s not the worst thing she’s ever put on. But still...with the light bouncing off all that yellow sateen, it’s like a f-cking boob eclipse. And she doesn’t exactly look young and fresh. Full Story

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GOOP & Manslinger: Sag & Perk

April 30, 2010 07:35:27 Posted at April 30, 2010 07:35:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There were 3 clothing changes for Gwyneth Paltrow yesterday. First a casual-ish blouse and black shorts with big heels upon arriving at Letterman. Then a sheath on Letterman. And then a long lacy looking dress for the Chopard party immediately afterwards. The first two were rather unremarkable. The final choice however. Full Story

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GOOP in a bad dress

April 29, 2010 08:28:30 Posted at April 29, 2010 08:28:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gwyneth Paltrow attended the Bent on Learning event in New York last night in a poorly fit dress* that actually made her look...well... wide, right? Especially with the coat on. There’s no waist. And it’s riding up awkwardly. And for someone who busts her ass at the gym, it’s doing no favours for her tight body. Full Story

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Please remove your DoucheFace

April 27, 2010 08:12:41 Posted at April 27, 2010 08:12:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Laura always says I’m fickle. This is true. I will turn on a bitch without hesitation. This is why my crushes don’t last very long. Because perfection is impossible. And when that becomes too obvious in the subject, the subject is discarded. But I tried with Adrien Brody. Uncharacteristically I tried. Full Story