Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Jude in love loves everyone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 22, 2010 08:17:49 April 22, 2010 08:17:49

After a few days of gorgessity in LA with Sienna Miller, Jude Law is now in New York, seen walking jovially with a friend in Soho yesterday. Photo Assumption says Jude is happy. Happier than he’s been in a long time. Happy because he’s happiest with Sienna. Happiest and, as noted, prettiest with Sienna. Full Story

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Porny’s matchy matchy lace and length

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 21, 2010 09:26:19 April 21, 2010 09:26:19

NO. It’s ... hideous. My Porny Jessica Simpson is back in New York promoting the final episode of her beauty show. As you can see, Porny wanted to match. Jacket, dress, shoes. And a lace pattern. Sausage lace pattern. That cuts her off at the worst length. F-ck them. They keep telling her it’s flattering. Full Story

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A lift from Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 20, 2010 09:40:01 April 20, 2010 09:40:01

Written by Jacek Crushing loss for my Canucks last night Gossips. Horrible penalty kill, Luongo took the night off (except he did so while in the crease and not on the bench initially, which never turns out well), and lady luck seems to be sitting comfortably in the laps of the Kings. So I’m really looking for something to lift me up today cause the boys have to wait until Wednesday to redeem themselves. Full Story

Taylor’s Summer’s Eve

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 19, 2010 08:41:28 April 19, 2010 08:41:28

This is what I’m calling her dress. Because the lavender and the lace and the embroidery, it all reminds me of a certain generation of delicate ladies who refer to their Summer’s Eves in hushed tones and never miss an afternoon of tea. So why the f-ck is Taylor Swift wearing it? She hurts me with her style. Full Story

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Country Bitch finally wins

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 19, 2010 07:55:28 April 19, 2010 07:55:28

She had to watch Taylor Swift trump her crusty ass at previous award shows, but Carrie Underwood was named Entertainer of the Year last night in Vegas at the Academy of Country Music, her second in a row, and the first female artist to take the honour twice. Well done Country Bitch. Aside from the fact that she kinda blew off Reba McEntire, CB’s acceptance speech wasn’t too grating. Full Story

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New breasts, problem jeans

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 16, 2010 08:28:13 April 16, 2010 08:28:13

Everyone was talking about Kate Hudson’s new tits yesterday. A few of you were unwilling to believe it, holding out hope perhaps that it was simply a push-up bra. Well... she hasn’t denied it yet. Her publicist hasn’t slammed the report. So... Anyway, Kate picked up Ryder yesterday from school and did not give the pervs (me) many opportunities to examine her breasts. Full Story

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Katherine Heigl dresses like a polygamist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 16, 2010 07:26:42 April 16, 2010 07:26:42

...the f-ck is she wearing? Here’s the Ungrateful Princess of AssTalk Katherine Heigl last night in New York at the ASPCA Bergh Ball at the Plaza with Isaac Mizrahi. The dark hair, and the horrid makeup, that dress... you know what that dress looks like? Did you ever visit that website that sold clothes for polygamists? Click here Full Story

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I used to think it was her...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2010 14:46:13 April 13, 2010 14:46:13

Elsa Pataky I mean. With the fake castle and the closed-eye posing in Hello Magazine, I thought it was her cheese and not his. For a long time those voices in my head whispered – what if it’s actually HIM? My mother always says: You face to the truth! I face to the truth and the truth is: Adrien might be Dunhill on the outside, but he’s totally Ed Hardy on the inside. Full Story

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Porny and the Arm Pose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2010 08:07:10 April 13, 2010 08:07:10

Jessica Simpson was in New York last night for the Good Housekeeping “Shine On” event with her main gay and her mother, two enablers sending her out unprepared and defenceless onto a red carpet. Again. Look at her. She’s an x-rated disaster. Here is not a girl who is as secure as she claims to be. Full Story

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Pose-Hard is a housewife

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2010 07:43:30 April 13, 2010 07:43:30

Lea Michele is Glee’s hardest poser, no doubt. Look at her. So much Try, and so little need. Because Lea Michele is legitimately talented. That voice, that voice is joy. And yet it’s almost as though she’s telling us that that voice, as pure and perfect as it is, simply isn’t enough. Full Story

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Tom Cruise Jr goes shopping

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 12, 2010 10:01:33 April 12, 2010 10:01:33

Looks like someone is teaching him how to dress. Taylor Lautner was still in Europe this weekend on his solo promotional tour promoting Himself and hit up the Belstaff store in Madrid. I wish we had a Belstaff store in Canada. Best.Jackets.Ever. I bought one last year on sale at Basquiat in Vancouver – LOVE it so much. Full Story