Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Kristen Bell is not Reese Witherspoon

January 28, 2010 07:04:36 Posted at January 28, 2010 07:04:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I didn’t say it, Gawker said it. But you know I’ve been saying it for years: that TV girls should be content being on TV. And Kristen Bell is very much a TV girl. Just like Jessicas Alba and Biel, and so many more her, Bell just doesn’t have it to make it in movies. Full Story

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Country Bitch at the casino

January 27, 2010 08:18:50 Posted at January 27, 2010 08:18:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She has an attitude problem, yes. But her dressing problem is even worse. As you know. As you’ve seen. At awards show after awards show. And now at the casino. Now formally engaged, Carrie Underwood accompanied Mike Fisher to the Ottawa Senators annual fundraiser in Gatineau the other night where they were officially photographed together for the first time. Full Story

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Claire Danes, Temple Grandin, & Lolita washed out

January 27, 2010 08:08:22 Posted at January 27, 2010 08:08:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hayden Panettiere has red hair now. You can’t see it very well as she had it pulled back at the premiere of Temple Grandin in New York last night but it’s there, it’s dark, and she looks washed out. The dress doesn’t help either. Not the best choice, right? Lolita is only 20, was easily one of the youngest, if not the youngest, on the carpet. Full Story

Porny diaper jeans

January 25, 2010 11:44:06 Posted at January 25, 2010 11:44:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last week it was announced that my Porny would launch her own denim line, Jessica Simpson Jeans, or something. This decision was met with ... mild horror. Porny has a terrible jeans track record. Full Story

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WORST SAGs: Drew Barrymore

January 25, 2010 06:20:00 Posted at January 25, 2010 06:20:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I can’t remember loving to hating as swiftly as I have for Drew Barrymore. Because if you’ve been reading my site long enough, I adored her. So much. But something happened along the way to Grey Gardens. And now Drew has gone from goofy and endearing to eyestabbing f-cking annoying let-me-slap-the-fairy-dust-out-of-your-nose insufferable. Full Story

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SAG Housewife of Las Vegas: Anna Paquin

January 25, 2010 05:53:21 Posted at January 25, 2010 05:53:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Her dress is an Alexander McQueen. Worn by someone like Kate Moss or Kristen Stewart, it’s totally f-cking badass. Because they would know to give it the right steeze. Like crunked out messy hair spilling everywhere, or pulled all the way back slick and tight, with layers and layers of black eyeliner and leather booties. Full Story

Old SAG girl beats New SAG girls: Helen Mirren

January 25, 2010 05:15:05 Posted at January 25, 2010 05:15:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Relax. Old doesn’t have to pejorative. Old in this case is simply the opposite of “new”. Old in this case is also better than new. Because confronted with all these fresh, young faces, Helen Mirren stood stately and superior above them. That’s a sexy bitch, non? STUNNING. A cut above the ones coming now. Full Story

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Robert Pattinson for Haiti

January 22, 2010 12:36:07 Posted at January 22, 2010 12:36:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is for Katie M. It’s her birthday. She wanted some Robert Pattinson. He delivered. Or, more accurately, George Clooney delivered. In London tonight apparently returning to his hotel (this is what the photo agency says) after presenting duties for Hope For Haiti Now. Taped, I guess, due to the time difference. Full Story

Becks & the Busted Bun Weave

January 22, 2010 11:18:12 Posted at January 22, 2010 11:18:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s in Milan, took a meeting with Dolce & Gabbana this morning, then spotted with her husband, shopping, of course. You’ll note she still hasn’t taken out that nasty bun weave. Which means she thinks it looks good. HOW??? Click here Full Story

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Chicken Fried skinny, dick, and court

January 22, 2010 07:25:23 Posted at January 22, 2010 07:25:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Britney was photographed leaving the gym yesterday with Jason Trawick still brown and, according to the paps, looking “stick thin”. I’m also worried about her hairline now. Wait, one sec. Just did a quick google. It seems it’s been like this a while. She’s never really had good hair, has she? There’s been concern about her state of mind since the colour change and the hotel living, but she seems to have worked up a good sweat, trained hard, and this is one of the few good signs. Full Story

For sale: Porny’s High Waisted Horror?

January 22, 2010 06:08:31 Posted at January 22, 2010 06:08:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sweet Jesus, Please Shiloh, no. My Porny has announced that she’s launching her own denim line. When you think Porny + Jeans, what comes to mind? Oh you know exactly what comes to mind. You’re looking at the pictures. It’s the High Waisted Horrors. From the Country Chili Cook-off, remember? January 25th marks the 1 year anniversary of the Country Chili Cook-off High Waisted Horror. Full Story

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