Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Porny Posehard

January 20, 2010 09:26:00 Posted at January 20, 2010 09:26:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My Porny showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Extraordinary Measures last night. This is a terrible title. But whatever. As you can see, Porny has been working out. Feeling confident about her body, she went with black legging jeans and flirted with her camel toe. She also decided on upswept hair, courtesy Ken Paves, and a bombshell posehard attitude on the red carpet. Full Story

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Worst: Taylor Lautner

January 18, 2010 13:18:00 Posted at January 18, 2010 13:18:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is the last. And it’s the worst. The WORST. The shine. The horrifying ass of the shine. What is happening to him? You know, Tom Ford was there last night. He could have helped. This kid needs help. Because here it is: Taylor Lautner is so painfully uncool. He’s goodlooking. He’s 18. Full Story

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Worst Dressed: Sandra Bullock

January 18, 2010 12:19:19 Posted at January 18, 2010 12:19:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Again. Read this: I love Sandra Bullock. I watched The Proposal on a plane and enjoyed it for what it was. I was totally on board with The Blind Side. Remember when I said I’m all over football movies? TBS wasn’t the greatest. It wasn’t anything. Like, no lows, no highs, not much. But that doesn’t mean Sandy B wasn’t appealing, adorable, endearing, the usual. Full Story

Worst Globe Hair: Taupe Garner

January 18, 2010 08:58:34 Posted at January 18, 2010 08:58:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sweet Jesus she made me straight up ANGRY. Every time I see the pictures I am angry. So angry. How do you sit in a chair and ASK FOR THIS HAIR? Wait, let me guess. is ranking this as a “best” of the night? I don’t even have to click over there and I know already. It’s what the MiniVan would want. Full Story

Most Disappointing: Anna Kendrick

January 18, 2010 08:04:45 Posted at January 18, 2010 08:04:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This isn’t just for an old lady, this is for an old lady blue blood. Like the matriarch of some crazy rich family at her 80th birthday party at the Plaza Hotel. Why the f-ck Anna Kendrick decided to wear it to the Golden Globes is a mystery to me. Anna Kendrick is just 24 years old – really, was there really nothing else? I find this hard to believe. Full Story

Worst Globe Shoes: Anna Paquin

January 18, 2010 07:52:29 Posted at January 18, 2010 07:52:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

All over her gown. The gown was good. Especially the sleeves. It’s a good alternative to strapless and halter and tank. But then she cocked it up with those shoes. Those shoes on a different occasion, with a different dress, for sure. Those shoes the way she wore them – low classy all the way. Full Story

Worst Speech (other than J Cameron):Drew Barrymore

January 18, 2010 06:37:10 Posted at January 18, 2010 06:37:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ugh. Like shut up already. And she didn’t thank Jessica Lange. Who deserved it so much more. I was never a fan of Drew’s Little Edie. Am definitely not a fan of her dress last night. It was Atelier Versace. It was not Anna Wintour at the Costume Institute Gala. There was a theme back then. Full Story

Worst Imitation of Penelope Cruz: Lea Michele

January 18, 2010 06:04:00 Posted at January 18, 2010 06:04:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We need to retire this dress for a long time. Penelope herself has worn it too many times. Her pretenders are lining up in a long list of Boring behind her. With embarrassing results. Some photo agencies actually labelled Lea “Penelope Cruz” on their databases last night. See? Lea may not have won for Best Actress Comedy but she certainly takes home the Kate Beckinsale Award for too much TRY. Full Story

Fire Burning

January 15, 2010 15:11:21 Posted at January 15, 2010 15:11:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Somebody call 911Shawty fire burning on the dance floor You’re gonna hate me for putting that song in your head the rest of the day. But it’s the song that popped into my head when I saw what Dianna Agron wore to the Season Diamond Fashion Awards last night. Dude, it’s getting worse. Full Story

The Shopping ShameFace

January 14, 2010 16:18:52 Posted at January 14, 2010 16:18:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not too long ago, Mischa Barton was at the top of every designer’s mailing list. And then she pissed it away. Over and over again. When given a life jacket in the form of Gossip Girl, she turned it down. In favour of movies. Which didn’t come. So Ashton Kutcher offered her a job and we all know The Beautiful Life was canned after only 2 episodes. Full Story

The unfrumpy slit

January 13, 2010 15:32:29 Posted at January 13, 2010 15:32:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Marion Cotillard in Rome today at the premiere of Nine in an Angelina Jolie-esque matron back ensemble that at first glance is kinda frumpy and then she turned to the side and, well, not to get all perv but it’s hard for the eye not to follow her hamstring right up to what looks like an impossibly perfect curve of the asscheek, oh la. Full Story

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