Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

WORST SAGs: Drew Barrymore

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2010 06:20:00 January 25, 2010 06:20:00

I can’t remember loving to hating as swiftly as I have for Drew Barrymore. Because if you’ve been reading my site long enough, I adored her. So much. But something happened along the way to Grey Gardens. And now Drew has gone from goofy and endearing to eyestabbing f-cking annoying let-me-slap-the-fairy-dust-out-of-your-nose insufferable. Full Story

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SAG Housewife of Las Vegas: Anna Paquin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2010 05:53:21 January 25, 2010 05:53:21

Her dress is an Alexander McQueen. Worn by someone like Kate Moss or Kristen Stewart, it’s totally f-cking badass. Because they would know to give it the right steeze. Like crunked out messy hair spilling everywhere, or pulled all the way back slick and tight, with layers and layers of black eyeliner and leather booties. Full Story

Old SAG girl beats New SAG girls: Helen Mirren

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2010 05:15:05 January 25, 2010 05:15:05

Relax. Old doesn’t have to pejorative. Old in this case is simply the opposite of “new”. Old in this case is also better than new. Because confronted with all these fresh, young faces, Helen Mirren stood stately and superior above them. That’s a sexy bitch, non? STUNNING. A cut above the ones coming now. Full Story

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Robert Pattinson for Haiti

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 22, 2010 12:36:07 January 22, 2010 12:36:07

This is for Katie M. It’s her birthday. She wanted some Robert Pattinson. He delivered. Or, more accurately, George Clooney delivered. In London tonight apparently returning to his hotel (this is what the photo agency says) after presenting duties for Hope For Haiti Now. Taped, I guess, due to the time difference. Full Story

Becks & the Busted Bun Weave

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 22, 2010 11:18:12 January 22, 2010 11:18:12

She’s in Milan, took a meeting with Dolce & Gabbana this morning, then spotted with her husband, shopping, of course. You’ll note she still hasn’t taken out that nasty bun weave. Which means she thinks it looks good. HOW??? Click here Full Story

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Chicken Fried skinny, dick, and court

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 22, 2010 07:25:23 January 22, 2010 07:25:23

Britney was photographed leaving the gym yesterday with Jason Trawick still brown and, according to the paps, looking “stick thin”. I’m also worried about her hairline now. Wait, one sec. Just did a quick google. It seems it’s been like this a while. She’s never really had good hair, has she? There’s been concern about her state of mind since the colour change and the hotel living, but she seems to have worked up a good sweat, trained hard, and this is one of the few good signs. Full Story

For sale: Porny’s High Waisted Horror?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 22, 2010 06:08:31 January 22, 2010 06:08:31

Sweet Jesus, Please Shiloh, no. My Porny has announced that she’s launching her own denim line. When you think Porny + Jeans, what comes to mind? Oh you know exactly what comes to mind. You’re looking at the pictures. It’s the High Waisted Horrors. From the Country Chili Cook-off, remember? January 25th marks the 1 year anniversary of the Country Chili Cook-off High Waisted Horror. Full Story

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Porny Posehard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 09:26:00 January 20, 2010 09:26:00

My Porny showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Extraordinary Measures last night. This is a terrible title. But whatever. As you can see, Porny has been working out. Feeling confident about her body, she went with black legging jeans and flirted with her camel toe. She also decided on upswept hair, courtesy Ken Paves, and a bombshell posehard attitude on the red carpet. Full Story

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Worst: Taylor Lautner

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 13:18:00 January 18, 2010 13:18:00

This is the last. And it’s the worst. The WORST. The shine. The horrifying ass of the shine. What is happening to him? You know, Tom Ford was there last night. He could have helped. This kid needs help. Because here it is: Taylor Lautner is so painfully uncool. He’s goodlooking. He’s 18. Full Story

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Worst Dressed: Sandra Bullock

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 12:19:19 January 18, 2010 12:19:19

Again. Read this: I love Sandra Bullock. I watched The Proposal on a plane and enjoyed it for what it was. I was totally on board with The Blind Side. Remember when I said I’m all over football movies? TBS wasn’t the greatest. It wasn’t anything. Like, no lows, no highs, not much. But that doesn’t mean Sandy B wasn’t appealing, adorable, endearing, the usual. Full Story

Worst Globe Hair: Taupe Garner

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 08:58:34 January 18, 2010 08:58:34

Sweet Jesus she made me straight up ANGRY. Every time I see the pictures I am angry. So angry. How do you sit in a chair and ASK FOR THIS HAIR? Wait, let me guess. People.com is ranking this as a “best” of the night? I don’t even have to click over there and I know already. It’s what the MiniVan would want. Full Story