Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Disco Porny can’t multitask

December 1, 2009 07:47:05 Posted at December 1, 2009 07:47:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You know I have a soft spot for Jessica Simpson. She makes mistakes, she says stupid sh-t, she will always choose cheap over classy, but it also seems wrong to hate on someone so dumb. There are good intentions underneath those breasts. It just takes a lot of patience to get through the dead air to find them. Full Story

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Great jacket, messy hair

November 30, 2009 07:50:11 Posted at November 30, 2009 07:50:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The GMD is off in Europe having the time of his life shooting Knight & Day with Cameron Diaz, riding around on a motorcycle all manly man, waving at his public, grinning widely at the crowds gathering around the set. Meanwhile Katie Holmes flew back to Hollywood this weekend to walk the carpet at the Dizzy Feet Foundation Inaugural Celebration of Dance yesterday with her hair in a messy knot and a gorgeous pale grey leather jacket. Full Story

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Crusty Spittle

November 27, 2009 08:10:20 Posted at November 27, 2009 08:10:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Spittle Gerard Butler was partying at The Groucho Club in London last night with Natalie Imbruglia and Kimberly Stewart, surrounded by paps when they left. Spittle had a short fuse as he was followed by a few embarrassing female fans who were getting lippy with him. According to the paps, the girls were so annoying that Spittle ended up snapping at them: “You know what, you go to get a f-cking life, is that what you’re about?” Maybe it wasn’t the most gracious thing to say but really… if you’re shaming yourself and giggling drunk ass around town in the middle of the night over Spittle Gerry, you’re asking for a bitchslap. Full Story

He still has his hair

November 23, 2009 12:05:13 Posted at November 23, 2009 12:05:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Iceman I mean. Val Kilmer. Many men struggle with hair loss. It’s a major confidence killer. And Val, well, Val still has his. A lot of it. It’s thick and long, it’s well spread around his scalp, it’s something he can hang on to, it’s where he derives his mojo. Here’s Val at the American Music Awards last night, no idea why, fronting like it’s 1984 and he’s still Kazansky in uniform. Full Story

Porny thinnifies again

November 20, 2009 16:02:32 Posted at November 20, 2009 16:02:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson has been working hard at the gym. She’s been tweeting about it too. They say she’s taken off 15 pounds with her trainer, will likely be Daisy Duke shaped again by the time she promotes her beauty reality show. Alanis would say: Don’t you think? Anyway, here’s Porny at Ken Paves' salon today after a touchup wearing those dumbass jeans. Full Story

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Delicate Robert Pattinson

November 20, 2009 08:56:58 Posted at November 20, 2009 08:56:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Quick note, an addition to my New Moon review – click here for a refresher. Here’s a detail I forgot to add: What’s with trying to be the Emperor from Star Wars? “Jacob” and “Edward” pull their dicks out over “Bella”. Full Story

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Bridesmaid dresses…

November 17, 2009 12:23:37 Posted at November 17, 2009 12:23:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Are almost never cute. Why can’t every bridesmaid just wear her favourite little black dress? Makes for great photos. But brides are crazy. I KNOW because I was a bride and I was crazy. And I was a crazy bride with a crazy squawking chicken mother. Imagine. Anyway, Katie Holmes wore a bridesmaid dress today on the set of The Romantics in New York shooting a wedding scene while towering over Elijah Wood. Full Story

Ashley Greene at the Daytime Emmy Awards

November 17, 2009 11:22:23 Posted at November 17, 2009 11:22:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s not Susan Lucci. Look closely. See? It’s not Susan Lucci. I’m telling you, it’s not. Stop arguing. I wouldn’t lie to you. It’s also not the Daytime Emmy Awards. This is not the Daytime Emmy Awards and this is not Susan Lucci. But it could totally be Susan Lucci at the Daytime Emmy Awards. Full Story