Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Crusty Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 27, 2009 08:10:20 November 27, 2009 08:10:20

Spittle Gerard Butler was partying at The Groucho Club in London last night with Natalie Imbruglia and Kimberly Stewart, surrounded by paps when they left. Spittle had a short fuse as he was followed by a few embarrassing female fans who were getting lippy with him. According to the paps, the girls were so annoying that Spittle ended up snapping at them: “You know what, you go to get a f-cking life, is that what you’re about?” Maybe it wasn’t the most gracious thing to say but really… if you’re shaming yourself and giggling drunk ass around town in the middle of the night over Spittle Gerry, you’re asking for a bitchslap. Full Story

He still has his hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2009 12:05:13 November 23, 2009 12:05:13

Iceman I mean. Val Kilmer. Many men struggle with hair loss. It’s a major confidence killer. And Val, well, Val still has his. A lot of it. It’s thick and long, it’s well spread around his scalp, it’s something he can hang on to, it’s where he derives his mojo. Here’s Val at the American Music Awards last night, no idea why, fronting like it’s 1984 and he’s still Kazansky in uniform. Full Story

Porny thinnifies again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2009 16:02:32 November 20, 2009 16:02:32

Jessica Simpson has been working hard at the gym. She’s been tweeting about it too. They say she’s taken off 15 pounds with her trainer, will likely be Daisy Duke shaped again by the time she promotes her beauty reality show. Alanis would say: Don’t you think? Anyway, here’s Porny at Ken Paves' salon today after a touchup wearing those dumbass jeans. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Delicate Robert Pattinson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2009 08:56:58 November 20, 2009 08:56:58

Quick note, an addition to my New Moon review – click here for a refresher. Here’s a detail I forgot to add: What’s with trying to be the Emperor from Star Wars? “Jacob” and “Edward” pull their dicks out over “Bella”. Full Story

View All 16 Photos

Bridesmaid dresses…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2009 12:23:37 November 17, 2009 12:23:37

Are almost never cute. Why can’t every bridesmaid just wear her favourite little black dress? Makes for great photos. But brides are crazy. I KNOW because I was a bride and I was crazy. And I was a crazy bride with a crazy squawking chicken mother. Imagine. Anyway, Katie Holmes wore a bridesmaid dress today on the set of The Romantics in New York shooting a wedding scene while towering over Elijah Wood. Full Story

Ashley Greene at the Daytime Emmy Awards

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2009 11:22:23 November 17, 2009 11:22:23

It’s not Susan Lucci. Look closely. See? It’s not Susan Lucci. I’m telling you, it’s not. Stop arguing. I wouldn’t lie to you. It’s also not the Daytime Emmy Awards. This is not the Daytime Emmy Awards and this is not Susan Lucci. But it could totally be Susan Lucci at the Daytime Emmy Awards. Full Story

Kristen at the cotillion

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2009 11:13:21 November 17, 2009 11:13:21

Kristen Stewart has been lighting it up on promotion for New Moon taking her super steeze all across Europe and owning everyone else in the process. It looked to be the same, very promising, when she showed up on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien wearing the sh-t out of a Herve Leger. Crunk ass hair, funky ass attitude, and mocking Twi-Hards with her hand tat, Stewart teased us for the main event. Full Story

View All 16 Photos

Young breasts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 16, 2009 10:12:43 November 16, 2009 10:12:43

It’s good genes, sure. And some tape, of course. But it’s also youth. They stand up on their own like that at her age. I mean look at them. From the front, from the side, the way they hold up …it’s just not possible. Her body is not possible. Her body is sick. This is Blake Lively at the Pippa Lee screening last night in an adorable plunging jacket over short shorts and white heels. Full Story

View All 18 Photos