Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Shelfy’s legs on Letterman

June 4, 2009 07:27:18 Posted at June 4, 2009 07:27:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Shelfy has turned up the hustle this week. She’ll be on Ellen, she’ll be on Fallon, and last night she was on Letterman. Showed up in a short skirt and showed off a pair of lovely legs. Up top though… Maybe not the most flattering blouse? Looks shapeless through the middle. But whatever. Full Story

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LipGloss Blender Legs Moist Face

June 3, 2009 07:54:48 Posted at June 3, 2009 07:54:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Really? You know who you are. You out there – you find this attractive? Really? Because I keep finding new things that are UNattractive about Zac Efron. You already know about the LipGloss, my husband can’t stand his mangled looking legs, and now … why is his face always so moist and dewy. Full Story

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From the Country Bitch’s closet

June 1, 2009 07:21:53 Posted at June 1, 2009 07:21:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Cheating on your maybe gaybe husband is no excuse for looking like sh-t. This dress is so much ass I can only assume it comes from Carrie Underwood’s closet. Looks like something she would wear. It’s MTV. It’s the Movie Awards. Do it short or wear jeans. Or something that implies you’ve been at the beach. Full Story

Foxy Wax Face

June 1, 2009 07:03:03 Posted at June 1, 2009 07:03:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Remember when Angelina showed up on carpet after carpet this past awards season with a weird waxy face? Guess who borrowed it last night for the Movie Awards? Her imitator. The Poor Man’s Jolie Megan Fox. Give.It.Up. Bathed in grease and fighting Christina Ricci’s forehead with her own, I was hoping Fox’s forehead would eat Miley Cyrus. Full Story

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Where’s Sam???

May 29, 2009 07:20:39 Posted at May 29, 2009 07:20:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He’s the breakout star of the film, Sam Worthington. But at the Paris premiere of Terminator Salvation, Sam is noticeably absent…why? It’s his busy schedule. Suddenly Sam is the envy of every actor in Hollywood. Script after script, project after project. And no one’s even heard of him. Full Story

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Even through security…

May 28, 2009 17:52:30 Posted at May 28, 2009 17:52:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She has a porn star face. This is why Megan Fox will always be a skin rag girl. Low rent. Megan was photographed today at LAX heading out for a couple of quick days of promotion before returning by Sunday for the Movie Awards. She and Michael Bay will introduce an exclusive clip from the upcoming Transformers and Shia LaBeouf is scheduled to present as well. Full Story

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Robo’s two big bags

May 28, 2009 07:27:46 Posted at May 28, 2009 07:27:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Her bag bag, the white one, and this dumbass dress she’s wearing. SO unflattering. Can you imagine? Having all that money? And blowing it on stupid f-cking clothes? Katie Holmes was photographed shopping yesterday in LA, fresh off her Gumby-like appearance Full Story

Porny makes it pay

May 27, 2009 12:25:14 Posted at May 27, 2009 12:25:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s the Papa Joe way! Profit from EVERYTHING. And why not? Sounds like Porny Simpson is going back to reality where she saw the most success. On the heels of the amazing photos of her singing at the Chilli Country Cook Off wearing the best pants ever, Us Weekly is reporting  Full Story

A list at the beach

May 26, 2009 07:01:20 Posted at May 26, 2009 07:01:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Are Tom Hanks’s jeans too tight? I don’t want Tom Hanks to be Tight Jeans Guy. Not his best moment. So apparently Joel Silver threw a Memorial Day party or something and a lot of famous people showed up including Tom and Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. Hm. Jakey looks hot in that hat. Full Story

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Robo Gumby

May 25, 2009 06:19:30 Posted at May 25, 2009 06:19:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We all want Katie Holmes to start thinking more independently. But maybe not when it comes to her clothing. Because it’s getting worse. Please stop her from dressing herself. It’s one thing to put on something unflattering, it’s entirely another to put on something that makes you look like your legs are freakishly long. Full Story

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Shelf AssTalk

May 19, 2009 06:07:00 Posted at May 19, 2009 06:07:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Just received an email on my blackberry from my friend Lara. The title: Puuleaazzee! The link: Shelf Ass complaining about being too hot to work as an actress. Yeah she’s on the cover of the new Allure Magazine. Full Story