Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

His & Her skinny jean-off

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 23, 2009 08:25:51 June 23, 2009 08:25:51

The GMD and his Robo attended Cameron Diaz’s Walk of Fame ceremony yesterday – we see a lot of Katie Holmes but the Midge has been selective about his appearances lately, always strategic, always calculating. He’s to begin work on a new film with Cam very soon. It only helps him to help her. Full Story

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Vagina Virgin Hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 14:05:20 June 19, 2009 14:05:20

So the Jonas Brothers played in New York today and I looked at these photos and I was making ew gross that’s nasty faces because what the f-ck is this hair and why are they wearing it? And then Michelle and Jen B had to jump in all reasonable and mature, explaining that they’d take this natural curl, as lame as it is, over the straight iron look of LipGloss BlenderLegs MoistFace Zac Efron and, yeah, I couldn’t disagree. Full Story

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Shake it loose!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 16, 2009 07:47:42 June 16, 2009 07:47:42

Bradley Cooper’s hair is some pretty great sh-t. But not when he slicks it back Gordon Gekko styles like some sleazy club douche which is exactly how he styled it last night at the CFDAs. Coop, as he apparently likes to be called, is wearing Calvin Klein. Properly tailored but it’s not his best outing. Full Story

She dresses her real age

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2009 08:38:39 June 12, 2009 08:38:39

Or his age. Supposedly she’s not yet 40. Don’t know anyone who believes this. You? Last night Catherine Zeta Jones accompanied her husband Michael Douglas to the AFI Tribute in his honour. This dress is ok, I guess, for a 60 year old? Like, her mother in law dresses more contemporarily than she does, though I suppose, marrying who she married, Zeta kinda has to age the wardrobe accordingly. Full Story

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Nipple Day in London

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 15:35:04 June 10, 2009 15:35:04

The Posh stepped out earlier with her tit rocks all tweaked… Then in the evening, on the red carpet for the UK premiere of The Hangover, Heather Graham let her nipples do the talking too. Hello chilly breeze! Those are much nicer to look at than Victoria Beckham’s concretes though. Are Heather’s real? Yum. Full Story

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Concrete tweaked!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 06:53:00 June 10, 2009 06:53:00

There she is! It’s the Posh. And she’s been laying low recently. And we’ve missed her concrete tits. But here they are, sitting up high and fully rock hard tweaked, in London today to support Becks at the England match. She pretends she hates the paps but those nipples, those nipples always give her away. Full Story

I would get a reduction

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 9, 2009 06:51:47 June 9, 2009 06:51:47

A major improvement on that tacky ass sh-t she was wearing during the day yesterday – click here if you missed it – this is Porny out for dinner last night in New York with her mother in a sleek black dress with a little leather jacket and a pair of undoubtedly expensive shoes that she manages, in her trademark way, to make look cheap by simply wearing them. Full Story

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Who shops for her?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 8, 2009 15:59:00 June 8, 2009 15:59:00

I desperately need to know. Whoever it is, he/she needs to be terminated. That sh-t is horrendous. Sigh. Porny arrived in New York today. Was photographed heading to a meeting. From the waist down we’re good. She’s been working out, she’s showing off her lean legs. On top though, on top this is painful. Full Story

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Finding friends at the game

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 8, 2009 08:03:18 June 8, 2009 08:03:18

Vanessa Hudgens is off in Montreal filming a movie. And since LipGloss BlenderLegs Moist Face Zac Efron has no friends, he had to put in some man time at the Laker game last night. It’s actually rather endearing, seeing his face light up when the big boys pay attention to him. Reminds me of David Silver from the original 90210. Full Story

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Get over your ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2009 14:16:13 June 5, 2009 14:16:13

When Cameron Diaz appeared on Jimmy Fallon during his first week, she and Jimmy had an amazing dance-off at the end of her segment. Of course Shelfy had to come up with her own gimmick last night. She “trained” him. It was lame sh-ts. As always, it comes down to personality. Jessica Biel doesn’t have one. Full Story

Where is your tailor??????

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 4, 2009 11:31:54 June 4, 2009 11:31:54

Ok enough. Bradley Cooper is a hot piece, no doubt. And he has great hair. But there’s a pants problem going on. They’re either too tight – as evidenced in Toronto – or too f-cking short, as evidenced this morning at Regis & Kelly. Like, it’s practically capri length! I will see The Hangover this weekend. Full Story