Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Vagina Virgins cross the pond

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 12, 2009 13:39:51 May 12, 2009 13:39:51

They were in London today promoting something – maybe a movie? Yes, probably. The movie that did not fare very well at the North American box office. Apparently their tv show wasn’t a huge success either. Not great news for a “band” about to release their fourth album Lines, Vines, and Trying Times. Full Story

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He’s here…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 12, 2009 06:40:09 May 12, 2009 06:40:09

And I’m leaving. Russell Brand left LA for Vegas yesterday. He was photographed at the airport with a female companion talking on his cell phone but astutely covering his mouth. Apparently the paps can lipread. Makes sense. Posting about him always elicits quite the response from many of you. On your Freebie Five. Full Story

Punk Ass like Porny?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 10:22:38 May 11, 2009 10:22:38

A little, right? I smell some Jessica Simpson on Avril Lavigne…you? Porny would totally wear this tacky ass dress. She’d fill it out better up top but still, there’s an unmistakable trace of hillbilly trailer flavour here that has suddenly splashed itself all over Punk Ass Avril who normally walks around posing like she’s hardcore. Full Story

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Style > Sight

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 10:09:31 May 11, 2009 10:09:31

It’s Vanessa Hudgens at the Diesel men’s fragrance launch the other night in LA. Still have no idea what we’re supposed to do with her. Now also have no idea how she sees. Am old. Don’t understand the kids these days. Have a look at Vanessa’s thick fringe covering her eyes. Full Story

Porny’s Shamu Show

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 09:17:10 May 11, 2009 09:17:10

I reported a couple of weeks ago that Porny was scheduled to perform at SeaWorld in Texas. Saturday night she was there, mouth open wide wide, legs splayed on super high wedges in low classy amazingness, generously entertaining us as always. Always. When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do, is take a look at her. Full Story

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Robo Mother of the Bride

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 07:26:14 May 11, 2009 07:26:14

This is the problem: we’re misled these days that if we put our minds to it, “we can do anything”. Xenu says that through consistent and expensive auditing, “nothing is impossible”. Must be why Katie Holmes continues to believe she’s a f-cking clothing designer even though everything she’s made for herself sucks balls. Full Story

Looking uncomfortable

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 6, 2009 07:38:51 May 6, 2009 07:38:51

Jennifer Aniston’s new movie Management screened last night in New York. Here she is outside the theatre. Great that she’s not wearing black. Not so great because grey appears to be her new black. All the time. Not sure this is doing anything for her. Especially around the chest area. Is that a breast wrap? Whatever it is it’s not flattering. Full Story

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The purple is back

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 17:24:00 May 5, 2009 17:24:00

Chuck’s purple was missing for a few. It was back last night. And as Michelle noted, some sh-t went down. Not the most well-acted episode, but great escapist fun. Group plotting against one thieving bitch with impossible resources. Please! We all dreamed of a similar takedown in high school. And of course the best part, the heart and soul of this show – Blair and Chuck and their endless game of Russian Love Roulette. Full Story

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Shelfy the bride

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 11:18:56 May 5, 2009 11:18:56

Who got married yesterday? You would think it was Shelf Ass. It was her special day. Let me explain. At every photo agency database it was pretty much the same – two women occupied more pages and image space than any others. The first… Madonna. Obviously. The second. Jessica f-cking Biel. Full Story

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Swank sag tits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 09:44:30 May 5, 2009 09:44:30

That episode of The Office – Hilary Swank, pretty or not? Please. Why is this even a debate? Maybe it’s just me. I don’t like her. I don’t like how she outed her ex husband as an addict in an interview with a dishy magazine. I also don’t understand why she has 2 Oscars. Full Story

Supermodel Cougar

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 09:30:11 May 5, 2009 09:30:11

Fack. This is not Teri Hatcher. Or Kelly Preston in that Maroon 5 video. This is Cindy Crawford. Cindy Crawford, whose husband is being sued for sexual harrassment after years of loud whispers about his philandering ways as George Clooney steps up to defend him. Her dress says it all, non? It's dated and desperate, decidedly cheap. Full Story

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