Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

The Madonna Debate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 08:20:01 May 5, 2009 08:20:01

We spent a significant amount time on this last night over Skype, Michelle and I. Obviously Madonna wasn’t hoping to make the Best Dressed List with this selection. Madonna is many things. But Madonna is not stupid. She wasn’t looking to the MiniVan to gasp with delight over that thing in her head and her muscles popping like flashbulbs. Full Story

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Leighton > Lively

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 07:48:28 May 5, 2009 07:48:28

90% of you and an entire fleet of MiniVans will disagree… Blake’s was the safer choice. Pretty and soothing in blue and blonde and boring as f-ck and a cheap slit too. It’s Versace. I’m asleep. Like when Serena talks in her one voice, incapable of modulation. Lulls you into a coma. Full Story

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Alba outclassed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 07:32:26 May 5, 2009 07:32:26

She really was. Or, more accurately, perhaps it was her designer Jason Wu. This dress seems like it’s 2 seasons old and was last worn at some Us Weekly party by Lauren Conrad. That hurts. And the tights, not feeling the tights. On the plus side: am all over the lipstick. Fuchsia looks good on the Alba Demon who smiled almost like she meant it. Full Story

Lazy Dunst

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 07:28:08 May 5, 2009 07:28:08

She’s fired. For many reasons, not just last night. The Xenu sympathising doesn’t sit well. And then the whole rehab for “depression” business which, as you’d expect, nobody bought especially not after Sundance that year when she was passing out Lindsay Lohan styles at every party. Full Story

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Worst Hair: Anne Hathaway

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 06:58:00 May 5, 2009 06:58:00

Ugh. Make it go away. If I look too long it’s like a squirrel is attacking my eyes. An old cranky squirrel, bitter at life, two divorces already, a third on the way, and maybe a little drinking problem. Or her big-haired, Texas beard in Brokeback Mountain. Either way, why would Anne Hathaway age herself 20 years on this night when 14 year old models are walking around barely able to support themselves on their gangly legs? Dumb. Full Story

Sporty Bass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 4, 2009 15:44:03 May 4, 2009 15:44:03

Ed Westwick will attend the Costume Institute Gala with girlfriend Jessica Szohr tonight in New York dressed in Christian Dior. This weekend however he was in LA, playing soccer at a celebrity match as Jessica cheered on the sidelines. Full Story

Manslinger, Shelfy, Pip, Triangle!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 1, 2009 09:32:06 May 1, 2009 09:32:06

No, actually, everyone played nicely in the sandbox. But this is why Photo Assumption is our best friend. Before we begin the body language analysis though, let’s judge them on the outside. At the Cartier 100th Anniversary event last night in New York, Kate Hudson, Jessica Biel, and Justin Timberlake were all present, and intriguing because 1. Full Story

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Pippy runs from Shelfy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 30, 2009 12:52:39 April 30, 2009 12:52:39

Ok, not really. You can’t run from a clinger. Check out Justin Timberlake and his Shelf Ass Biel in New York today running with the trainer (not pictured). I think I have her running pants. They’re great. Nike. Took them out last night on the trails for about 5k and they dry super fast. Full Story

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All better

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 30, 2009 07:22:19 April 30, 2009 07:22:19

Liev Schreiber skipped the Hollywood premiere of Wolverine the other night because his son Sasha was sick in New York. Sasha was briefly hospitalised but is clearly feeling much better, enjoying time on dad’s shoulders yesterday during a walk through Soho. He is cute! Allow me now to segue not so gracefully to the subject of Liev’s, um, tight pants the other night in Arizona. Full Story

Bond in sweats kills quiver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 29, 2009 07:10:57 April 29, 2009 07:10:57

Yeah… I prefer him in a suit. Daniel Craig is amazing in a suit. Jeans too, sure. Clothing that is tailored. With structure. Not sweats. I wish… I wish I could turn back 10 minutes. I wish I had avoided this set of photos. I wish I had seen the thumbnail and taken it as a warning that Bond’s loser track pants would kill my quiver, possibly even forever. Full Story

Wolverine World Quiveration

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2009 07:14:35 April 28, 2009 07:14:35

They had a contest or something and eventually Tempe, Arizona was selected as the location of the Wolverine world premiere. So the stars flew in last night for the carpet led by their sweet, humble, generous movie star leader Hugh Jackman who has literally travelled the world in support of this film, tirelessly, and not once has complained or faltered or seemed anything but enormously grateful for his opportunities. Full Story

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