Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Porny emerges cruise-bound

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2009 07:13:04 April 13, 2009 07:13:04

She’s maintained a very low profile since completing her country tour. But with the confirmation last week that she’d been dumped by her country label, yet another Fail notch on her Fail Bait, it was time to show face and stick her chin up and out. Never let them know you’re down. Which is why Papa Joe dragged Porny’s ass out to Beso the other night for a family dinner. Full Story

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Two options

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 8, 2009 15:58:15 April 8, 2009 15:58:15

Billy Ray parent pimp has accompanied his second life meal ticket and daughter Miley to New York to promote the Hannah Montana movie. They performed on Good Morning America today. Yesterday they made the rounds at other talk shows. Here he is, hair freshly ironed and that f-cking soul patch sprayed and gelled, stopping to sign autographs. Full Story

Where was the light?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 8, 2009 07:30:09 April 8, 2009 07:30:09

It’s these hotel rooms sometimes. The light is terrible. For makeup artists it’s the worst. And possibly the explanation behind Sienna Miller’s overbronzed face. Last night in New York at the screening for The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, that film she shot a couple of years ago during which she called Pittsburgh sh-tsburgh and angered the entire town… As you can see, Sienna’s face is one orange blob – gorgeous, but totally the wrong colour. Full Story

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RDJ & GMD

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 7, 2009 07:20:24 April 7, 2009 07:20:24

What do they have in common? Heels! My bad – I did not look closely at the photos yesterday before posting after viewing them in thumbnail size only before downloading… Many of you emailed to point it out: RDJ is wearing at least 2 inches, if not more. Just like the GMD. I’ve attached additional photos here. Full Story

Red dress, grey hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 6, 2009 08:05:13 April 6, 2009 08:05:13

LOVE Taylor Swift. Love that Taylor Swift won. Hate that Taylor Swift looked like this. Hurts me that she looked like this. Taylor chose red for the carpet. Horrible beauty pageant red. She’s ancient in beauty pageant red. Even her hair is ancient in beauty pageant red. Grey hair! On Taylor Swift! Because of this ugly red dress – she’s too young, she’s too cute, she’s too lively for this poorly chosen red dress! On stage it was short and blue and cowboy boots. Full Story

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Queen of Country changes 10 times

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 6, 2009 07:44:37 April 6, 2009 07:44:37

Maybe not quite 10 times. But a LOT of times. And every time it sucked. Every dress sucked. One shoulder, pale pink, and shapeless on the carpet, cheap girl at the mall in white on stage and backstage, Miss America wine coloured and barefoot during her performance… It’s astonishing how badly she dresses. Full Story

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1999 was 10 years ago

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 2, 2009 12:16:55 April 2, 2009 12:16:55

So why is Elizabeth Hurley still famous? Like Austin Powers Liz seems cryogenically frozen from a decade past. Same hair, same clothes, same old all the time. And… What exactly does she do??? I don’t know why I keep asking this question with regard to celebrities. I’m still drunk off my own alcohol fumes. Full Story

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Punching is not allowed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2009 11:51:14 March 31, 2009 11:51:14

We discussed this yesterday … Violence is never the answer. F-ck! Why not?!?!? Find me someone who doesn’t have the same reaction after seeing these photos. Full Story

Pip, Shelf, Opes, and capri jeans

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 27, 2009 10:46:23 March 27, 2009 10:46:23

A new round of break up rumours surrounding Shelfy and her lifeline... OK! Magazine is reporting that she can’t handle his flirting and that he’s been telling his friends that he’s trying to ease out of the relationship slowly. Full Story

Lippy & Pippy SNL!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2009 10:49:20 March 26, 2009 10:49:20

Who to start with? LipGloss or Pipsqueak? Let’s go with the junior. He arrived in London today continuing to promote 17 Again in Europe. Bill Hader told ESPN this morning that the final four hosts this season on Saturday Night Live would be Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Justin Timberlake, and Will Ferrell. Full Story

Cute workout gear is very important

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2009 15:02:46 March 25, 2009 15:02:46

I didn’t always think this way. I just put on whatever. I mean it’s the gym. It’s not a fashion show. And this is still true. But at the same time, a flattering pair of running pants or a tank can certainly motivate, get you working harder, and well, I don’t know what’s going on with Natalie Portman in these photos. Full Story