Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Porny in a corset

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 07:03:26 March 9, 2009 07:03:26

Am still snotty and miserable with this cold but seeing Porny put a smile on my face. Isn’t she wonderful? I love her so much. Jessica Simpson on stage at the Florida Strawberry Festival this weekend in Plant City, Florida in her daisy dukes and a long corset holding it all in and showing off her toned, muscular legs. Full Story

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The shape of Beyonce

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:54:19 March 9, 2009 06:54:19

Our friends Fiona and Kiu came over on Saturday night for a quick visit. At one point Kiu declared that Beyonce now occupies 4 out of the 5 spots on his Freebie Five. He watched her at the Oscars and was enthralled by her body. He was all like – now that’s a real woman’s body and it’s all natural. Full Story

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Little Sci Hello Kitty

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:34:30 March 9, 2009 06:34:30

The GMD, Robo, and Little Sci arrived in Tokyo this weekend to promote Valkyrie. They were greeted at the airport by hundreds of screaming Hello Kitties eager for a glimpse of Mr America. He of course totally ate it up. You know the Gay Midge loves being loved. Shall we play Photo Assumption on Katie Holmes? Photo Assumption says she’s totally over it. Full Story

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Matt in tight spandex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:27:06 March 9, 2009 06:27:06

Few men, if any, can do it. Few men can quiver in spandex. Matt Damon does not quiver in spandex. I don’t care how much you love him, please don’t try convince me there’s something going on in your lady business when you look at these photos. Matt is currently in South Africa shooting The Human Factor. Full Story

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Midlife Madonna designs for douches

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 6, 2009 07:33:44 March 6, 2009 07:33:44

You know I love her. And I will defend her to the end. Almost the end. Against Guy Ritchie’s leaks, against the misogyny of the UK papers, I will defend her right to show off her body, to date younger as long as its legal, Madge and I we disagree over her obsessive workout regimen and what she does to her face but for the most part, I am a follower. Full Story

Birthday paparazzi

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2009 06:20:00 March 4, 2009 06:20:00

Oh they ruined her birthday didn’t they? Justin Timberlake was without his Shelf Ass for a week in New York and was papped only twice, quite a departure from the daily sightings that occur when his girlfriend is with him Jessica Biel arrived in town to celebrate her birthday yesterday. Immediately the two were shot on their way out to celebrate. Full Story

ManSlinger: assy in Milan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2009 08:47:11 March 3, 2009 08:47:11

Kate Hudson also at the Extreme Beauty in Vogue event last night wearing some kind of assy sh-t sure to inspire universal hate. Like Liberace got his wish and came back as a woman… WTF? As for the hotness beside her – settle down… It’s her brother Wyatt. He plays/played hockey. Full Story

Dear Malin, don’t be Kate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2009 07:36:00 March 3, 2009 07:36:00

They are calling Malin Akerman the next Cameron Diaz. Malin is Canadian so we’re pushing her out hard. Landing the coveted role of Silk Spectre in Watchmen was a huge break. She’s also working on Vince Vaughn’s next comedy Couples Retreat and has several other projects on the go (many more than Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel!) that should keep her in theatres consistently over the next 2 years. Full Story

Blue and frumpy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 2, 2009 14:54:27 March 2, 2009 14:54:27

Whirlwind tour through Europe – is London the final stop? No doubt she’s probably in a hurry to get back to John Mayer, especially since Megan Fox is on the loose. Here are Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson at the UK premiere of Marley tonight. Terrible dress choice, non? Prom blue and frumpy, hiding her best assets, and a pair of fitting shoes too. Full Story

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Back to black and Vanna White

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 11:33:39 February 27, 2009 11:33:39

Seriously – it was like this yesterday too – why is she constantly Vanna White-ing all over Owen Wilson? It’s weird, right? The way her hand is displaying him like a vowel? Anyway, this is Jennifer Aniston today at the Rome photo call for Marley & Me back to basic black and boring sh-t, a far cry from the refreshingly vibrant appearance she turned in yesterday at the Paris promotional stop in Balenciaga and Loubs. Full Story

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