Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Matt in tight spandex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:27:06 March 9, 2009 06:27:06

Few men, if any, can do it. Few men can quiver in spandex. Matt Damon does not quiver in spandex. I don’t care how much you love him, please don’t try convince me there’s something going on in your lady business when you look at these photos. Matt is currently in South Africa shooting The Human Factor. Full Story

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Midlife Madonna designs for douches

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 6, 2009 07:33:44 March 6, 2009 07:33:44

You know I love her. And I will defend her to the end. Almost the end. Against Guy Ritchie’s leaks, against the misogyny of the UK papers, I will defend her right to show off her body, to date younger as long as its legal, Madge and I we disagree over her obsessive workout regimen and what she does to her face but for the most part, I am a follower. Full Story

Birthday paparazzi

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2009 06:20:00 March 4, 2009 06:20:00

Oh they ruined her birthday didn’t they? Justin Timberlake was without his Shelf Ass for a week in New York and was papped only twice, quite a departure from the daily sightings that occur when his girlfriend is with him Jessica Biel arrived in town to celebrate her birthday yesterday. Immediately the two were shot on their way out to celebrate. Full Story

ManSlinger: assy in Milan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2009 08:47:11 March 3, 2009 08:47:11

Kate Hudson also at the Extreme Beauty in Vogue event last night wearing some kind of assy sh-t sure to inspire universal hate. Like Liberace got his wish and came back as a woman… WTF? As for the hotness beside her – settle down… It’s her brother Wyatt. He plays/played hockey. Full Story

Dear Malin, don’t be Kate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2009 07:36:00 March 3, 2009 07:36:00

They are calling Malin Akerman the next Cameron Diaz. Malin is Canadian so we’re pushing her out hard. Landing the coveted role of Silk Spectre in Watchmen was a huge break. She’s also working on Vince Vaughn’s next comedy Couples Retreat and has several other projects on the go (many more than Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel!) that should keep her in theatres consistently over the next 2 years. Full Story

Blue and frumpy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 2, 2009 14:54:27 March 2, 2009 14:54:27

Whirlwind tour through Europe – is London the final stop? No doubt she’s probably in a hurry to get back to John Mayer, especially since Megan Fox is on the loose. Here are Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson at the UK premiere of Marley tonight. Terrible dress choice, non? Prom blue and frumpy, hiding her best assets, and a pair of fitting shoes too. Full Story

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Back to black and Vanna White

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 11:33:39 February 27, 2009 11:33:39

Seriously – it was like this yesterday too – why is she constantly Vanna White-ing all over Owen Wilson? It’s weird, right? The way her hand is displaying him like a vowel? Anyway, this is Jennifer Aniston today at the Rome photo call for Marley & Me back to basic black and boring sh-t, a far cry from the refreshingly vibrant appearance she turned in yesterday at the Paris promotional stop in Balenciaga and Loubs. Full Story

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Still singing, still Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2009 14:22:20 February 26, 2009 14:22:20

The other day I reported on information from sources that Jessica Simpson had fired her band and was scrapping the tour. Gossip is a speculative business - every once in a while, there’s a bad tip. I’m sorry about that. But I’m not sorry about the fact that she didn’t quit. Because in not quitting, Porny provided us with this: photos from her performance in Idaho. Full Story

Vagina Virgin style

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 25, 2009 08:45:53 February 25, 2009 08:45:53

Please explain this to me. I realise it’s been a long time since I was 20. Even though it feels like it was just last week, I know that 20 is far, far away. But still… It’s not that far away. I’d like to think some things don’t change so drastically. I’d like to think that what I think of what Joe Jonas is wearing is pretty universal, no matter how long ago 20 actually was. Full Story

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Oscar Worst Dressed: Reese Witherspoon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 07:21:17 February 24, 2009 07:21:17

Topping the Worst Dressed is almost an art. It’s too easy to name Jessica Biel the worst dressed. You expect it. What’s the challenge? But Reese Witherspoon… You don’t expect it from Reese Witherspoon. You don’t go into the Oscars thinking Reese Witherspoon will suck it the hardest with all she has to choose from. Full Story

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Oscar napkin or towel?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 14:09:55 February 23, 2009 14:09:55

I say napkin. Like a napkin tucked in during a meal. But some of you are saying towel, a towel hanging on a bar in your bathroom. Whatever the case… It’s balls! And it’s f-cking amazing! When we saw this on the pool feed, I almost twisted my ankle jumping up and down with excitement on my 6 inches. Full Story

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