Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Celebrity Dumbass: Debra Messing

February 18, 2009 12:42:17 Posted at February 18, 2009 12:42:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last night at the Costume Designer’s Guild Awards in Beverly Hills. She’s wearing a f-cking tiara! A TIARA! Sure, it’s the Costume Designer’s Guild. But it’s also Debra Messing. Who the hell are you? Well, actually, she’s fresh out of work. The Starter Wife was cancelled last week. Full Story

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Spittle on the runway

February 17, 2009 07:30:58 Posted at February 17, 2009 07:30:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gerard Butler has been enjoying the sights and sounds of NY Fashion Week and, well, not even his friendship with Anna Wintour can help with his icky cheese. Like please make him stop. Here he is arriving at Bryant Park with a guest last week and also last night at William Rast, posing in his awkward bulgy bad wash jeans and an inexplicable crop sweater underneath his leather jacket which, thankfully, went missing later on as he caroused with friends when leaving the venue. Full Story

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February 16, 2009 07:50:21 Posted at February 16, 2009 07:50:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

One step forward, five steps back. Oh Porny. Don’t you have a mirror? On Friday night, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo took her tits out for dinner at the Waverly Inn. She looks like she can barely walk. She looks like she can barely breathe! Apparently the sight of her heaving cans were meant however to distract from the housecoat she decided to wear as a dress. Full Story

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Porny & the Dukes!

February 10, 2009 09:47:52 Posted at February 10, 2009 09:47:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She makes me so happy. No matter what the reason, most of us can agree…Jessica Simpson makes us smile. It doesn’t have to be a “with her” smile. It can be an “at her” smile. Most of the time it’s a “what the f-ck are you doing but please don’t stop” smile. Full Story

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Would you?

February 10, 2009 07:32:44 Posted at February 10, 2009 07:32:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

SJP looked all business yesterday out and about in New York. She’s also working out a new boot. Camel toe boot? More comfortable? Not sure. Never tried. But to me it looks ugly. F-cking ugly. Like a hoof. Why would I want my foot to look like a hoof? Don’t understand. Then again, I said the same thing about skinny jeans and now I can’t live without. Full Story

The Grammys were her Oscars

February 9, 2009 12:50:18 Posted at February 9, 2009 12:50:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like, what the f-ck, Kate Beckinsale??? I get that she was saving it for the Oscars. I get it that she desperately wanted to wear it this season. But she forgot who she is. She forgot where she was. She thought that perhaps having “the honour” of her lifetime, introducing Paul McCartney, would give her permission to commit the most egregious OVERDRESS offence of the year…? Fail. Full Story

Grammy Little Boy: Justin Timberlake

February 9, 2009 11:53:28 Posted at February 9, 2009 11:53:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

“When I was a little boy…” How many times have you heard Pippy talk about his little boy days? He ALWAYS refers to his little boy days. 5 years ago it was cute. Now it’s limp cheese and please grow some balls. Suggestions: When I was growing up…When I was younger… It works, and better still, it means you’re not asskissing women YOUR MOTHER’s AGE! So Justin Timberlake performed twice last night. Full Story

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Grammy Gold & Tacky: Carrie Underwood

February 9, 2009 11:31:00 Posted at February 9, 2009 11:31:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She changed like 10 times the entire night. And every time it was the ass. If you want to rank the ass in order of worst to not so bad but still bad, #1 being the most horrid, I’d say it was the arrivals gold borrowed straight from Dolly Parton. See how even skinny girls can look bloaty with a bad dress? Also…don’t understand the hair. Full Story

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Grammy Sex Change: LeAnn Rimes

February 9, 2009 11:19:52 Posted at February 9, 2009 11:19:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Pick one: LeAnn Rimes looks great LeAnn Rimes looks like greasy sh-t but still girly LeAnn Rimes looks like greasy sh-t man dressing up like a womanI choose option 3. That grown out perm is straight out of the trailer park. And her dress is wrinkled. And, oh yeah, she looks like she’s getting rid of her lady business…WTF? Is this because her husband is so fay? He was there too, by the way. Full Story

Grammy Budget: Sheryl Crow

February 9, 2009 09:28:07 Posted at February 9, 2009 09:28:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She hasn’t had much success on red carpets, has she? Remember a few years ago with Lance Armstrong she showed up in a bright yellow gown with her stomach cut out? This one isn’t much better. This one looks like it’s been washed and dried. You know when you buy a blouse for $30 from the Chinese Mall and it starts to pill after the second use? This is a Chinese Mall dress. Full Story

Grammy One Colour: Leona Lewis

February 9, 2009 09:16:00 Posted at February 9, 2009 09:16:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Awful head to toe flesh coloured blob… horrid! Because her hair is the same shade as her skin which was the same shade as her dress and there was nothing to break it up, to visually separate the pieces so what you end up with is one solid piece and let’s be honest… she has a beautiful, juicy, delicious body…. Full Story

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