Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Worst Oscar Hair: Alicia Keys

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 08:18:40 February 23, 2009 08:18:40

This hurts me. Very badly. Because I love her. She is perfect. She is kind and smart and she purrs. Michelle says she purrs when she talks. She can purr in my ear all day. Of course she’s sooooo beautiful too. But the hair, the hair is so obviously a fake, some kind of wig/weave/whatever…it made me sad. Full Story

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Oscar LipGloss and borrowed prunes: Zac Efron & VH

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 07:12:00 February 23, 2009 07:12:00

MK Olsen, having no use for them anymore after the Spirit Awards, loaned her prunes to Vanessa Hudgens last night who gave them a very good workout, in between moments when she wasn’t scowling about her dress. Bitch, if you can’t control the dress, don’t f-ckin’ wear it. Also – it looked cheap. Full Story

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Worst Oscar Couple: SJP & Matthew Broderick

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 06:58:36 February 23, 2009 06:58:36

He was BORED. He looked bored from the moment they arrived, he looked bored up and down the carpet, he looked bored at Vanity Fair, he looked bored because he wasn’t doing what HE wanted. This photo of them touching noses – the man is straight up queasy at the sheer proximity of his wife. Full Story

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Worst Oscar Red: Amanda Seyfried

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 06:11:23 February 23, 2009 06:11:23

You know I love her. And her hair in Mamma Mia was my hair inspiration last night. Amanda Seyfried is definitely a “next”. Most of Meryl’s girls are: Emily Blunt, Amy Adams, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfriend… only Lindsay Lohan managed to f-ck it up. But Amanda, for her first Oscars, on a night of many red dresses, oh this was not good. Full Story

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Worst Oscar Ming Vase: Beyonce

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 05:04:45 February 23, 2009 05:04:45

She’s killing that song for me. Is she killing it for you? Suddenly At Last has become Beyonce’s signature song. Suddenly At Last is getting removed from my iPod. First though, let’s start with the carpet dress. The carpet dress was the ass. The carpet dress blinded half the bleacher section. Full Story

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Oscar cheap tacky TV: Melissa George

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 04:30:00 February 23, 2009 04:30:00

Another case of who-invited-you-and-what-is-your-name. I don’t know…apparently she’s on Grey’s Anatomy now? Yes, this is a television show. So how did Melissa George score a ticket? Oh right. Disney. ABC. Grey’s. Ugh. It was embarrassing watching her. Embarrassing looking at her dress. Full Story

Sateen jumpsuit and bad eyeliner

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 20, 2009 08:49:00 February 20, 2009 08:49:00

Maggie Grace last night at the Global Green pre-Oscar party – what a f-cking mess. Sateen + Jumpsuit = HORROR Then the winged liquid liner, at least that’s what it looks like. Should be illegal. This is something I am particularly sensitive about. Because as an Asian, so many old school makeup artists think this is what has to happen with our “exotic” eyes. Full Story

Celebrity Dumbass: Debra Messing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 18, 2009 12:42:17 February 18, 2009 12:42:17

Last night at the Costume Designer’s Guild Awards in Beverly Hills. She’s wearing a f-cking tiara! A TIARA! Sure, it’s the Costume Designer’s Guild. But it’s also Debra Messing. Who the hell are you? Well, actually, she’s fresh out of work. The Starter Wife was cancelled last week. Full Story

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Spittle on the runway

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 17, 2009 07:30:58 February 17, 2009 07:30:58

Gerard Butler has been enjoying the sights and sounds of NY Fashion Week and, well, not even his friendship with Anna Wintour can help with his icky cheese. Like please make him stop. Here he is arriving at Bryant Park with a guest last week and also last night at William Rast, posing in his awkward bulgy bad wash jeans and an inexplicable crop sweater underneath his leather jacket which, thankfully, went missing later on as he caroused with friends when leaving the venue. Full Story

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Noooooooooooooooo…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 16, 2009 07:50:21 February 16, 2009 07:50:21

One step forward, five steps back. Oh Porny. Don’t you have a mirror? On Friday night, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo took her tits out for dinner at the Waverly Inn. She looks like she can barely walk. She looks like she can barely breathe! Apparently the sight of her heaving cans were meant however to distract from the housecoat she decided to wear as a dress. Full Story

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Porny & the Dukes!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2009 09:47:52 February 10, 2009 09:47:52

She makes me so happy. No matter what the reason, most of us can agree…Jessica Simpson makes us smile. It doesn’t have to be a “with her” smile. It can be an “at her” smile. Most of the time it’s a “what the f-ck are you doing but please don’t stop” smile. Full Story

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