Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

The Grammys 2009

February 9, 2009 08:28:57 Posted at February 9, 2009 08:28:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like I said last week, Coldplay is fortunate they did not perform after Radiohead. Because in their first Grammy live performance, Radiohead owned everyone’s ass. And my Gwyneth introduced them! Her smugness must be killing you… So there were some sucky sh-t performances, and then there were the ones that made you thankful for DVR. Full Story

BAFTA Recycle: Freida Pinto

February 9, 2009 06:57:26 Posted at February 9, 2009 06:57:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh Freida. Another major awards show, another disappointing choice. I worry for our Freida. The colour… not crazy about how it washes her out. And the dress – it’s an Oscar de la Renta but it may as well be Dior two years ago. Both Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore wore a variation in fuschia and green that at the time I called lettuce and now it’s been recycled. Full Story

BAFTA Stripper: Marisa Tomei

February 9, 2009 05:46:00 Posted at February 9, 2009 05:46:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Enough with the Academy rewarding strippers with a heart of gold. Every year there’s a stripper with a heart of gold nominated for something. Am over it. It’s done. Anyway, Marisa apparently dressed for her character at the BAFTAs – f*ck me hair and a showgirl dress that’s seen better days, like a girl who has seen better days, used hard and dried up… She’s been hanging out with Mickey Rourke too long, I think. Full Story

The BAFTAs 2009

February 9, 2009 05:14:59 Posted at February 9, 2009 05:14:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I love the BAFTAs. They’re so all business. It’s like, let’s get on with it, move it along, we’re not caught up in our own importance. And the feed I was watching was broadcast straight through with only one commercial break after the first hour. Maybe that’s why they sold their name to Orange. Full Story

Porny covered everywhere!

February 4, 2009 12:14:05 Posted at February 4, 2009 12:14:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When you go for groceries this weekend, you’ll be staring at Porny while you pay. THREE tabloid covers this week – all featuring Porny’s pants! Was she this famous at the height of newlyweds? Was she this famous when her divorce was announced? Debatable. Oh put your pity hearts away! This is working FOR her, gossips, not against her. Full Story

Help me understand

February 4, 2009 09:09:08 Posted at February 4, 2009 09:09:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In some circles, this man is known as a heartthrob. A loin wizard. A headboard banger. A quiver master. Him? Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United, seen here yesterday in Cheshire. Like, I get it. Things are different in Euro. More fashion forward and also more open to cheese. I get it. But this dude. Full Story

Drew Bow

February 3, 2009 07:19:33 Posted at February 3, 2009 07:19:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Enough. She had that old school Marilyn whatever assness going on at the Globes a few weeks ago, and last night on the carpet for That Movie Drew pulled her hair up into a 1950s ponytail and pranced around all girlypoo at the sock hop. Ugh. The poor bow on her dress must have been listening to John Mayer’s music on the way over. Full Story

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Table for 2?

February 3, 2009 06:53:19 Posted at February 3, 2009 06:53:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Date tonight? How about Chinese? Maybe Thai? This is your hostess. She’s called brunette Scarlett Johansson. “Tay-bow faw toooo?” Hate eating at places like that. And hate Scarlett’s styling last night at He’s Just Not That Into You. Not necessarily the dress. The dress I love. Full Story

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Too much beer?

February 3, 2009 06:37:31 Posted at February 3, 2009 06:37:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jennifer Aniston on the carpet last night at the premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You. A rare miss. Because you know the Aniston. The hair, the body, the tan, the glow…the Aniston is always working, the Aniston always looks good, the Aniston can’t afford not to look good. She doesn’t have much else. Full Story

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Josh jogs, Kiki’s clogs

February 2, 2009 17:41:02 Posted at February 2, 2009 17:41:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Am told they’re seeing each other casually but quietly – Josh Hartnett and Kirsten Dunst. Both are currently in New York. He was spotted jogging today and this is Kiki out for lunch with a friend on the weekend. Josh was my summer crush 7 summers ago. Whenever 40 days nights whatever came out. Full Story

More famous than ever

February 2, 2009 08:39:05 Posted at February 2, 2009 08:39:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I stopped by the supermarket yesterday and while I was waiting in line to pay Porny’s Pants were everywhere. Almost every cover. There’s Porny in her high waisted atrocity, one breast fighting the other breast underneath that black tank, more famous than she’s been in years. Years. Full Story