Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Globe Neutrals: Demi/Pene/Salma

January 12, 2009 07:31:03 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:31:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Wasn’t feeling it. All those neutrals, nudes, and light grey. Meh. Even Salma who is ordinarily spectacular. Meh. The ageless Demi, perhaps the best of the boring because of her great hair and Ashton is a babe, but still… meh. And Penelope Cruz especially. Washed her out. And I’m done with the teasing at the crown with her bangs. Full Story

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Globes Worst Hair: Debra Messing

January 12, 2009 06:48:20 Posted at January 12, 2009 06:48:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sit DOWN Debra Messing. Better yet – go away. Am so over her. And that hair. That hair had desperation all over and inside of it. That hair had her agent and her publicist lurking around it. Her entire talent team randomly popping out of it, begging someone, anyone, especially Jeff Zucker for a return to network television. Full Story

Globes Worst Fit: Blake Lively

January 12, 2009 06:27:44 Posted at January 12, 2009 06:27:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like by 2 sizes. At least. Chill before you start foaming at the mouth and composing that hate mail. Am not saying she’s big. Of course she’s not big. But she’s making herself look bigger by stuffing her body into a dress that doesn’t fit. Take a closer look – that sh-t is so tight she can’t even tuck the hanger straps all the way into the side. Full Story

The two that don’t belong

January 9, 2009 06:36:12 Posted at January 9, 2009 06:36:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Eva Longoria and Katy Perry… On EVERY level. Like WAY out of their league. And of course they both look like ass. Total ASS. Katy, poor thing, appears to be completely overwhelmed and tried too hard with that ridiculous dress. What the hell is she doing there??? And Eva, oh Eva, as always, armed with Ken Paves’s tacky brush, seems incapable of wearing a colour that doesn’t belong at a children’s birthday party. Full Story

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The People’s Manslinger vs AssTalk

January 8, 2009 07:04:26 Posted at January 8, 2009 07:04:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kate Hudson vs Katherine Heigl. KH vs KH Hudson at one point owned the market on dumbass chick flicks. As you know, she keeps making the same one over and over again. But Katherine Heigl invaded her territory last year with 27 Dresses. And succeeded. And then Kate told some magazine she’d never heard of her. Full Story

The People’s Country Matchy

January 8, 2009 06:48:30 Posted at January 8, 2009 06:48:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She went shopping for her dresses at Arlene’s Fashion Emporium. Seriously, there’s cheapness smeared all over them. This is Carrie Underwood at the People’s Choice Awards last night arriving in some kind of bedazzler and then on stage in a low budge green tier pageant cast-off with… Matching plastic earrings. Full Story

Bride Ass Overdresed

January 6, 2009 07:00:00 Posted at January 6, 2009 07:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kate Hudson was everywhere yesterday in New York, hitting up the talk show circuit and also the red carpet for Bride Wars. First at Letterman in a green sparkly thing and who cares about the dress when there’s an ass to be had? Manslinger has an ass. Damn that is an ass. That’s an ass approaching JLo ass. Full Story

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Alanis minus 20

January 2, 2009 11:35:45 Posted at January 2, 2009 11:35:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Am so not feeling Alanis Morrissette in OK! Magazine gushing about her 20 pound weight loss. Can’t put my finger on it but just isn’t sitting right. Maybe it’s because the styling is for sh-t. Who decided to put her in a long purple dress with those shoes? And those boots with the jeans are all wrong too. Full Story

NYE CarbFace and Bad Hair

January 1, 2009 11:22:38 Posted at January 1, 2009 11:22:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In Miami at LIV at the Fountainebleau – Nick and Nessa in matching shiny sheen delight. But not really. Vanessa Minnillo is such a beautiful girl in real life. But her persistent pageant styles are for sh-t. And not sure what she’s doing with that hair. Nick Lachey, after outselling his ex wife Jessica Simpson in their post-divorce album duel, has pretty much gone nowhere. Full Story

In the corner where she belongs

December 31, 2008 08:04:15 Posted at December 31, 2008 08:04:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kevin Federline Junior and his wife thought that maybe someone would care about her post-baby 50 pound weight loss after just 6 months. The only takers were the folks at the bottom feeding In Touch Weekly (only $2.99!) but definitely, definitely not as the main cover story, hell no. Not when a concocted Bride Wars Jolie vs Aniston headline will fly off the MiniVan newsstands. Full Story

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Worst of 2008: Robo Butch

December 29, 2008 07:19:00 Posted at December 29, 2008 07:19:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For a couple of weeks in August, we were obsessed with Katie Holmes’s jeans. Every blog, every style page, if it wasn’t Michael Phelps, it was Robo Bride going all butch on Broadway with her pixie cut wearing her husband’s denims. An exaggeration? You don’t remember? Time Magazine Full Story

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