Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Shania’s back!

November 12, 2008 09:28:00 Posted at November 12, 2008 09:28:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s country’s big night! The CMAs! And People is reporting that the big surprise of the evening will be the newly single Shania Twain! She’s been keeping low since her devastating split from husband Mutt Lange earlier this year but clearly, on the industry’s biggest night, if Shania is present, it obviously means she’s ready to roll. Full Story

Blake Lively No Legs

November 11, 2008 06:56:15 Posted at November 11, 2008 06:56:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

All the editors at W Magazine must be completely cock-eyed – the only way to explain the decision to make THIS the new cover. It’s Blake Lively. And her head is bigger, MUCH bigger, than her waist. And she has no legs. And her dress is too small. And she looks like a tranny. And … WhatThe F-ck??? An entire photo shoot and this is the best they could come up with? More importantly though… can Jenny Humphrey please f-ck off? Full Gossip Girl breakdown of last night’s episode coming soon. Full Story

What to wear to a luncheon

November 10, 2008 08:34:13 Posted at November 10, 2008 08:34:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Saturday afternoon at the Beverly Wilshire for the Lupus LA Hollywood Bag Ladies Luncheon… Luncheon. This is what Mischa Barton decided to pull out of the closet – a page right out of Kate Beckinsale’s Overdressing Handbook. Since she broke my arm in Cannes Full Story

Overdressed, overtried, overold

November 7, 2008 10:01:00 Posted at November 7, 2008 10:01:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Hayden Panettiere at the Madonna concert last night with red lips, heels, all black and a plunging neckline. She’s 18! At a concert! Heidi Klum wore jeans, Kate Moss was casual, so was Lucy Liu, especially Isla Fisher…but Hayden had to be Hayden. Like a 40 years old. Only time she dresses her age is when other people do it for her on her tv show. Full Story

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GOOPy’s movie must suck

November 4, 2008 16:31:00 Posted at November 4, 2008 16:31:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Someone like Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t pick a dress like this thinking it’s the most beautiful thing ever. She didn’t see it delivered from her stylist and actually believe everyone on the blogs - you, me, the haters, the MiniVan fashion conservatives who actually think Jennifer Aniston’s a style icon – would lose their sh-t over the beauty of her choice. Full Story

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Porny`s Pap Drama

November 3, 2008 07:20:00 Posted at November 3, 2008 07:20:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson went out for dinner the other night with her main ‘mo Ken Paves and he ended up getting hit in the face by a pap camera, gushing blood from his head, requiring a trip to the hospital. He did however have the good sense to tuck Porny into the car before taking care of himself. Is that enough to forgive him for making her look like sh-t all the time? Negative. Full Story

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Her body, her bangs

October 31, 2008 08:09:18 Posted at October 31, 2008 08:09:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s official…maybe with some help from Spanx… The Alba Bitch has her body back. And how. Here she is last night supporting Narciso Rodriguez at his book signing at Bergdorf’s looking svelte and demure in a very fitted dress, tights, and flats. Those bangs on the other hand… those bangs are ass. Full Story

Another reason not to eat

October 29, 2008 11:15:23 Posted at October 29, 2008 11:15:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Once upon a time, Armani was the man. Then he made the ugliest dress for Katie Holmes’s wedding and now most of the designs coming out of Armani Prive look like they’ve been inspired by Tina Knowles. It’s embarrassing. One blip of a bright light? Becks starring in the underwear ad campaign. Full Story

Bloomingdales sells de Sh-ts

October 29, 2008 08:16:32 Posted at October 29, 2008 08:16:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yesterday in New York, Beyonce launched her House of de Sh-ts dress collection at Bloomingdales. Bloomingdales. Dillard’s I totally get. But Bloomingdales? Really? Check her out, wearing one of her mother’s designs ripped off from Marciano which in and of itself is problematic, only Marciano’s price tag is closer to it’s nasty ass quality. Full Story

Porny at Macy’s

October 29, 2008 07:12:45 Posted at October 29, 2008 07:12:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She must be surrounded by backstabbers. Surrounded by them. How else can you explain? Why else would she walk out the door wearing this? The fur collar. And the wrap. And the silver. And the hair. Porny looks like a 50 year old divorcee, she looks like Ivanka Trump…WTF? This is Jessica Simpson last night on the Macy’s red carpet, as usual, styled from the ass. Full Story

You are not Tom Ford

October 17, 2008 07:28:01 Posted at October 17, 2008 07:28:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Or Olivier Theyskens. Or Stella McCartney. Or even… gasp!... Victoria Beckham. Because while Victoria can’t come up with her own good sh*t, she at the very least knows which good sh*t to copy and call her own. Katie Holmes on the other hand just pulls it out of her robotic little head. But just because it’s original doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Full Story

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