Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Carpets & Candids: Jessica’s fur and bells

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 25, 2016 16:45:57 October 25, 2016 16:45:57
Photos:
FameFlynet, Jackson Lee/ Splash News

Jessica Simpson dressed like this to go shopping at Barneys. I would have refused to sell her anything, tell her to go back to wherever she founds these pants. These pants. They remind me of Madonna, the Blond Ambition tour, and Holiday. That tour. God, that tour. One of the best tours of all time. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Halle’s open blouse

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2016 16:14:24 October 14, 2016 16:14:24
Photos:
WENN

I mean, she’s Halle Berry so she looks incredible. But… can I say I’m kinda bored of her style? The exposed bra, the pants cut tight on the thigh and wider at the ankle… It’s kind of dated. Like Jennifer Aniston probably wore this exact same outfit 10 years ago. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Kate’s blush satin pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2016 15:05:20 October 14, 2016 15:05:20
Photos:
Wenn, Donato Sardella/ Jon Kopaloff/ Getty Images

This is a heinous outfit. And, my God, these are heinous pants. The all-over blush is a problem. But it’s the blush satin pants that are so objectionable to me I’m actually angry. There is no excuse for this unless you are Mariah Carey and about to get in a bathtub and ruin the outfit. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Tori’s behind dress

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2016 15:16:13 July 28, 2016 15:16:13
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

I first saw this dress from behind. And was interested. It’s the cap sleeve. I’ll always care about a cap sleeve. But then she turned around and it’s a mess. How could one dress have such a different personality in the back than it does in the front. It’s like two entirely different species! Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: January’s stripes and flowers

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 25, 2016 14:48:01 July 25, 2016 14:48:01
Photos:
Wenn, Dave Mangels/ Getty Images

I thought, at first, this was a romper. And if it were a romper, I’d say she should have gone a size up. People have an aversion to wearing anything above their true size. And it often gets in the way of good style. I repeat: what happened to January Jones’s style?! Romper or not, these shorts could use an extra inch in length. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Heidi’s cheap yellow Cannes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2016 16:27:22 May 20, 2016 16:27:22
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

Let’s go back to what Karl Lagerfeld once said about Heidi Klum: “She was never in Paris. We don’t know her.” Which means she was never runway, never couture. And, well, by “supermodel” standards, he’s right. Because what the f-ck is this dress?  Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Krysten’s strappy shoes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 19, 2016 15:13:51 May 19, 2016 15:13:51
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet, Nicholas Hunt/ Ray Tamarra/ Getty Images

I generally don’t like strappy shoes like this. Crissy-crossy complicated laces – it’s become very… Kardashian. I especially don’t like the shade of red/orange that Krysten Ritter wore with this black cut-out dress. They’re better from the day before in a really pretty off-centre-chested starburst cocktail but I feel like she still could have done better in the footwear. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Blake’s Cannes runway

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2016 20:25:11 May 16, 2016 20:25:11
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

How did Cannes end up being a fashion show for Blake Lively? There were a lot of appearances. And so much bad fashion in those appearances. Blake doesn’t have a stylist. Blake is also, liberally, singled out often for her sense of style. That’s an issue for me. Because…what? How? None of the choices she made in Cannes were interesting or imaginative. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Salma’s Cannes prom

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2016 14:45:18 May 16, 2016 14:45:18
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet, Neil Warner/ TGB/ KCS Presse/ Splash News

If it was 1996, I would understand. What is the excuse for this in 2016? On Salma Hayek, who has access to almost every major design house? The straps AND the belt are glittered. There’s a bellybutton flower. And a tendril coming down her face. The tiered skirt is the LEAST offensive thing about this dress – what does that tell you!? Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Marion in denim, gold, and leather

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2016 14:03:09 May 16, 2016 14:03:09
Photos:
Wenn, David M. Benett/ Pascal Le Segretain/ Getty Images

I hate this gold dress so much. And if she can’t save it, it can’t be saved. But look at her at the photo call. In a denim dress made to look like a long jean jacket and a lace top underneath just as a bonus. Then… This purple structured top over Bordeaux leather pants, OH MY GOD, maybe one of the best outfits we’ve seen all  year and COME ON! THAT is what Marion Cotillard deserves. Full Article

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