Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Shelfy’s shiny pants

December 8, 2011 21:20:05 Posted at December 8, 2011 21:20:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Bauer

Jessica Biel has been hustling New Year’s Eve pretty hard around the world. The last few days it’s been in New York. This morning it was The Today Show. And these spectacularly terrible shiny green sateen pants. Don’t you wish you could see them without the coat on? To truly appreciate how bad they are? Look, they’re wrinkling at the crotch already. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Jessica Chastain in Marrakech

December 5, 2011 14:02:57 Posted at December 5, 2011 14:02:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Dominique Charriau/Getty

With the year she’s had, Jessica Chastain is probably the only actor to rival Michael Fassbender in 2011. And there is talk that she could show up at the Kodak Theatre next February with an Oscar nomination of her own. If that happens, I hope she’s getting the bad sh-t out of the way now. Check out Jessica at the Marrakech International Film Festival opening ceremony in a little girl’s cocktail dress of terrible length and the worst shoes ever. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Courteney Cox’s satin skirt

November 29, 2011 14:09:58 Posted at November 29, 2011 14:09:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Flynet, INF

Courteney Cox stepped out last night in Hollywood in this bizarre combination – satin skirt and biker boots which, I mean I don’t hate a long skirt with a riding boot, in fact if done right, I might even dig it a lot. But the shiny material, the satin-ness of it... doesn’t quite work out here, right? Sometimes, a lot of the time, I ask myself why people don’t just put on jeans. Full Article

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On Spotted Pants

November 28, 2011 21:46:35 Posted at November 28, 2011 21:46:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash

What do you think? Can you work with this?On Kate Moss, the spotted jeans look good. Because it’s Kate Moss. I mean, I would never, but it’s Kate Moss. And then there’s Whitney Port. Whitney Port decided to wear her spotted, I dunno, are they pyjama pants?, with a striped sweater. I guess she could make the excuse that she just woke up, didn’t think about her clothes, but those nice waves in her hair and the long necklace would imply otherwise, non? Hideous combination. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Penelope’s shorter hair

November 28, 2011 14:22:19 Posted at November 28, 2011 14:22:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Stefania D'Alessandro/Getty

You like it? I don’t think I do. I don’t think I like all those layers. Not when I know it when it’s long and thick and amazing. I mean, I get it, people cut their hair – for movies, for convenience, whatever – I’m just saying this isn’t doing all that much for her. And combined with the length of her skirt and those shoes. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: the definitive Marchesa

November 21, 2011 13:56:14 Posted at November 21, 2011 13:56:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Neilson Barnard/Getty

If you’ve been reading long enough, you know my feelings on Marchesa. I have hated Marchesa...forever. Like years. Some of my very fashionable friends, including Sasha, don’t understand this. They think Marchesa is the sh-t. I mean, sure, once in a while, once a year, someone might wear something Marchesa and it’ll be an anomaly but for the most part, Marchesa, to me, is tacky and gross, clothing for figure skaters who grew up to dance in Vegas. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Elizabeth Olsen’s terrible proportions

November 16, 2011 15:08:51 Posted at November 16, 2011 15:08:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
C.Smith/ WENN

I can’t get with this. All those weird lengths made even more obvious by the red lining. And... it’s like... a magician’s cape. Um, this is supposed to be good? The longer back looks like a tail. The belt is pushing her tits up to her chin. Those shoes belong in a boardroom. I mean, if Elizabeth Olsen is really going to the Oscars (because they keep saying she is even though, frankly, even though I enjoyed MMMM, I don’t think she belongs there), we have a lot of work to do on dress picking before she gets there. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Mandy Moore’s red shoes

November 14, 2011 13:56:23 Posted at November 14, 2011 13:56:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

See what I mean about those supposed Hollywood Style Awards? No disrespect to Mandy Moore but she’s not exactly Kristen Stewart. Andrea Riseborough was the biggest name there, and people still haven’t seen her breakout movie yet. Which tells you something about this event. Anyway, Mandy’s kept a very, very low profile all year since performing at the Oscars last February. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Andrea Riseborough needs a proper stylist

November 14, 2011 13:52:44 Posted at November 14, 2011 13:52:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

I keep telling you that Andrea Riseborough who plays Wallis Simpson in Madonna’s W.E. is exquisite but I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me because her carpet appearances are so maddeningly inconsistent, it’s hard to see her potential if you’ve not seen the film or laid eyes on her in person. She often juuuuust misses, you know? Like here, last night at something called the Hollywood Style Awards (which really weren’t very impressively attended considering the name), here’s Andrea going super Disney princess, a heavily lined lid, and a very pale lip which. Full Article

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Carpet & Candids: LeAnn Rimes and a dinosaur tail

November 10, 2011 17:08:27 Posted at November 10, 2011 17:08:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Michael Loccisano/Getty

I suppose this is where you’d find a dress so busy – at the Country Music Association Awards. It’s really too busy to belong in the spirit of good taste. I don’t know about those doily folds around the breast area, or the f-cking apron around her waist, and what is happening at the back there...? It’s a cartoon dinosaur tail. Full Article

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Carpets & Candids: Reese Witherspoon CMA lazy?

November 10, 2011 15:42:06 Posted at November 10, 2011 15:42:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Rick Diamond/Getty

Better this than jacking up the Try when you’re only a presenter, I get it. But the sateen towel Reese Witherspoon chose looks like it could be from Express. I mean, I love Express but I wouldn’t wear Express up on stage at the Country Music Association Awards if I’m Reese Witherspoon, you know? Did she change when she was in the audience though? Because what she had on in the audience looks like it coulda been more interesting. Full Article

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