Assy Style Articles

Bad celebrity fashion including Hollywood's worst dressed, out of date looks ugly red carpet, outfits and shoes, makeup mishaps, bad hair, and other fashion misses.

Carpets & Candids: Life after Gossip Girl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 9, 2011 15:46:15 December 9, 2011 15:46:15
Photos:
Flynet

Is rough for Jessica Szohr. I mean, you can’t get away with a mess like this, from the hat to the gloves to the horrible makeup, if, you know, you’re not really doing anything. She’s not on a buzz show anymore. There’s no connection to anything anymore. Jessica Szohr is Mischa Barton only Jessica Szohr was never the lead. Full Article

View All 9 Photos

Shelfy’s shiny pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 8, 2011 21:20:05 December 8, 2011 21:20:05
Photos:
Wenn, Bauer

Jessica Biel has been hustling New Year’s Eve pretty hard around the world. The last few days it’s been in New York. This morning it was The Today Show. And these spectacularly terrible shiny green sateen pants. Don’t you wish you could see them without the coat on? To truly appreciate how bad they are? Look, they’re wrinkling at the crotch already. Full Article

View All 9 Photos

Carpets & Candids: Jessica Chastain in Marrakech

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 5, 2011 14:02:57 December 5, 2011 14:02:57
Photos:
Dominique Charriau/Getty

With the year she’s had, Jessica Chastain is probably the only actor to rival Michael Fassbender in 2011. And there is talk that she could show up at the Kodak Theatre next February with an Oscar nomination of her own. If that happens, I hope she’s getting the bad sh-t out of the way now. Check out Jessica at the Marrakech International Film Festival opening ceremony in a little girl’s cocktail dress of terrible length and the worst shoes ever. Full Article

View All 12 Photos

Carpets & Candids: Courteney Cox’s satin skirt

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 29, 2011 14:09:58 November 29, 2011 14:09:58
Photos:
Flynet, INF

Courteney Cox stepped out last night in Hollywood in this bizarre combination – satin skirt and biker boots which, I mean I don’t hate a long skirt with a riding boot, in fact if done right, I might even dig it a lot. But the shiny material, the satin-ness of it... doesn’t quite work out here, right? Sometimes, a lot of the time, I ask myself why people don’t just put on jeans. Full Article

View All 8 Photos

On Spotted Pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 28, 2011 21:46:35 November 28, 2011 21:46:35
Photos:
Splash

What do you think? Can you work with this?On Kate Moss, the spotted jeans look good. Because it’s Kate Moss. I mean, I would never, but it’s Kate Moss. And then there’s Whitney Port. Whitney Port decided to wear her spotted, I dunno, are they pyjama pants?, with a striped sweater. I guess she could make the excuse that she just woke up, didn’t think about her clothes, but those nice waves in her hair and the long necklace would imply otherwise, non? Hideous combination. Full Article

View All 12 Photos

Carpets & Candids: Penelope’s shorter hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 28, 2011 14:22:19 November 28, 2011 14:22:19
Photos:
Wenn, Stefania D'Alessandro/Getty

You like it? I don’t think I do. I don’t think I like all those layers. Not when I know it when it’s long and thick and amazing. I mean, I get it, people cut their hair – for movies, for convenience, whatever – I’m just saying this isn’t doing all that much for her. And combined with the length of her skirt and those shoes. Full Article

View All 10 Photos

Carpets & Candids: the definitive Marchesa

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 21, 2011 13:56:14 November 21, 2011 13:56:14
Photos:
Neilson Barnard/Getty

If you’ve been reading long enough, you know my feelings on Marchesa. I have hated Marchesa...forever. Like years. Some of my very fashionable friends, including Sasha, don’t understand this. They think Marchesa is the sh-t. I mean, sure, once in a while, once a year, someone might wear something Marchesa and it’ll be an anomaly but for the most part, Marchesa, to me, is tacky and gross, clothing for figure skaters who grew up to dance in Vegas. Full Article

View All 11 Photos

Carpets & Candids: Elizabeth Olsen’s terrible proportions

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 16, 2011 15:08:51 November 16, 2011 15:08:51
Photos:
C.Smith/ WENN

I can’t get with this. All those weird lengths made even more obvious by the red lining. And... it’s like... a magician’s cape. Um, this is supposed to be good? The longer back looks like a tail. The belt is pushing her tits up to her chin. Those shoes belong in a boardroom. I mean, if Elizabeth Olsen is really going to the Oscars (because they keep saying she is even though, frankly, even though I enjoyed MMMM, I don’t think she belongs there), we have a lot of work to do on dress picking before she gets there. Full Article

View All 11 Photos

Carpets & Candids: Mandy Moore’s red shoes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2011 13:56:23 November 14, 2011 13:56:23
Photos:
WENN

See what I mean about those supposed Hollywood Style Awards? No disrespect to Mandy Moore but she’s not exactly Kristen Stewart. Andrea Riseborough was the biggest name there, and people still haven’t seen her breakout movie yet. Which tells you something about this event. Anyway, Mandy’s kept a very, very low profile all year since performing at the Oscars last February. Full Article

View All 8 Photos

Carpets & Candids: Andrea Riseborough needs a proper stylist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2011 13:52:44 November 14, 2011 13:52:44
Photos:
WENN

I keep telling you that Andrea Riseborough who plays Wallis Simpson in Madonna’s W.E. is exquisite but I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me because her carpet appearances are so maddeningly inconsistent, it’s hard to see her potential if you’ve not seen the film or laid eyes on her in person. She often juuuuust misses, you know? Like here, last night at something called the Hollywood Style Awards (which really weren’t very impressively attended considering the name), here’s Andrea going super Disney princess, a heavily lined lid, and a very pale lip which. Full Article

View All 8 Photos

Carpet & Candids: LeAnn Rimes and a dinosaur tail

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 10, 2011 17:08:27 November 10, 2011 17:08:27
Photos:
Michael Loccisano/Getty

I suppose this is where you’d find a dress so busy – at the Country Music Association Awards. It’s really too busy to belong in the spirit of good taste. I don’t know about those doily folds around the breast area, or the f-cking apron around her waist, and what is happening at the back there...? It’s a cartoon dinosaur tail. Full Article

View All 9 Photos