Punk Ass Egomaniac

September 7, 2007 06:18:59 Posted at September 7, 2007 06:18:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s not necessarily the arrogance…the arrogance is standard Hollywood fare. It would be impossible I suppose to get up in front of thousands of people and perform, even if the songs are bubblegum sh-t. Confidence is a requirement, I get that.

What I don’t get is the insulting lack of humility and the ingratitude of it all. Similar to Justin Timberlake’s comments a few months ago – about being responsible for the success of the Grammys, claiming he’d been the reason for McDonald’s profits going up 20%.

And now Avril Lavigne. A punk ass poser bitch on the best of days, now Avril has enlightened us all with her “Ten Commandments”. You can read read all of them here - see below for the lows from her interview with Q Magazine:

"Selling 24 million albums hasn"t really affected me, but it has changed things. I can"t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their head, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won"t get hassled. But that"s OK. I was born to do this, and so I"ve learned how to cope."

This is a girl who allegedly contributes one lyric into a song and then has the nerve to call herself a songwriter, despite multiple suggestions to the contrary. What’s “coping” to a copycat? Please.

"Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I"m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It"s good if you"re not easily ignored. And I"m not."

Because appealing to 24 year olds is “tough”. Because writing songs about hating your boyfriend’s girlfriend is tough. Because shooting a lame ass video about harassing your boyfriend’s girlfriend who happens to wear glasses (SO original) and eventually pushing her into a jiffy john is “tough”.


Oh but this… this is my absolute favourite! You will LOVE this.

"I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened [in New Orleans, August 2005], I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, "Take it to Katrina!" I also like to give stuff to people who are my "workers", especially if they don"t make much money."

My “workers”??? MY WORKERS??? Thousands of people lost their homes, they were displaced, their lives were ruined…and her big contribution is six boxes handed over to her assistant and hand me downs to her “workers”?

Bitch needs a slapping, non?

And it doesn’t end there… some advice Avril Lavigne:

"It"s important to be thankful, even if you"re poor. I mean, come on, we all have clean water--well, OK, not people in the developing world. It"s important to remember where we came from, and just how lucky we are to be here."

Coming from a multi millionaire punk douche, I’d say those are words of wisdom. And why not? Apparently Avril knows feng shui…so now she’s one of my people.

"I"m not particularly religious, but I am spiritual. What kind? Feng shui, mostly, and energy. I"m good at picking up people"s energy, like I"m receptive or something."

And THAT, gossips, is what you call a feng shui f-cktard.

As for her ambitions:

"I want to get into movies next, a lead role in a super cool indie flick. I"ve been looking at scripts for the past two years now and most of them have been sh-t, but I know I could be real good at it. I have an agent now, and everything."

Wonderful. Seeing she has the emotional range of a deranged cheerleader, I’m sure she’ll be a welcome addition to the Spirit Awards.

Finally… Avril looking uncomfortable and still pretty cute last night at Fashion Rocks. I like that Marie Antoinette thing she has going on. But cute can’t correct douche, can it?


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