Baby and Bump Obsession Articles
There’s a trade union strike happening in Italy today that has necessitated a delay on production of The Tourist. With the day off, the Brange decided to take their youngest out for some sightseeing. As you can see, the twins can walk now. I am surprised they’re not floating. KL has a badass leather jacket and a badass pout to go along with it. Full Story
Duana says this about me all the time. When there’s a baby around, she’s instantly charmed. She notices babies. She loves babies. She thinks babies are funny and entertaining. She watches babies like it’s a tv show. But I never notice babies. Ever. And it’s not deliberate, it’s just. Full Story
So the Chosen One is being forced into being a butch by her biological baby hating parents and wearing her hair short. She must be terribly unhappy. I don’t know about kids so I’m probably talking out of my ass when I say she looks pretty content to me. This child is miserable. I can tell by the way she’s reaching for her mother. Full Story
Angelina Jolie is a multi-tasker. While the tabs say she’s busy wrecking Johnny Depp’s family and using drugs and plotting against Jennifer Aniston and emasculating Brad, she’s also spending time with her boys, photographed today in Venice with Pitt and their bodyguard headed for an art exhibit. Full Story
Well this should make the white supremacists happy. A Brange outing today with the Chosen One and the Holy Twins and, far as I can see, no sign of the “foreign” ones. They’re not as popular with the magazines anyway. Do the paps exhale exasperatedly when the kids come out when it’s only Maddox, Pax, and Miss Zahara? The photo agency says that Brad is holding Vivienne and Angelina is with Knox Leon. Full Story
For the rest of the world, most of the time, babies are conceived when two people get together and have sex. On occasion, when that isn’t successful, science is involved. These procedures however do not include purging aliens from our reproductive tracts. Unless of course you’re a member of the Church of Xenu. Full Story
After a week in Paris shooting scenes for The Tourist, Angelina Jolie and family are back in Venice as Johnny Depp has wrapped (for now) most of his Alice in Wonderland promotion and has reported to set to begin filming together. Normally the Brange is able to travel relatively cloak and dagger-ish, with underground parking, back doors, and secret exits. Full Story
Have received a few alarming emails about this, and many of you have sent along the links to comments on message boards. Here’s a good example. It’s disturbing. That The Chosen One can’t get a haircut without her parents being accused of child abuse or deliberately turning her into a lesbian/transgender/freak – their words, not mine. Full Story
They’re in Italy and it’s been a daily inundation of photos – boat trips with the kids, mystery identities with the babies, and Jon Voight paying a grandfatherly visit. Two weeks ago the Brange was on the verge of combusting, now the tabloids don’t have a way in, especially not with the presence of the Holy Trinity: The Chosen One and the Divine Twins, all together on display, headed today for Paris en masse. Full Story
The Brange is now in Italy for 3 months while Angelina shoots a movie with Johnny Depp. The entire family has hunkered down in Venice as local paps salivate over every outing. Like this one - Miss Zahara out with Brange along with her little bro Knox Leon. Let's call him KL. It's a clean shot of his little face which looks remarkably like the Chosen One's face, a perfect hybrid of their pulchritudinous parents. Full Story
It’s been a week since the Brange killed the latest round of rumours about their split. And therefore a week since we’ve heard from Ian Halperin or the tabloids proclaiming Brad Pitt’s reunion with Jennifer Aniston. It’ll likely be another week until they conjure up another story. Full Story
Gwen Stefani presented the new L.A.M.B. collection at New York Fashion Week yesterday. Loved almost everything she sent down the runway. Including Gwen herself. I wonder if Madonna looks at Gwen and feels like stab face. Or sticking more needles in her forehead. Gwen showed in a great leather jacket and skirt . Full Story
Julianne Moore was predicted to earn an Oscar nomination today for Best Supporting Actress in A Single Man. That spot went to Maggie Gyllenhaal for Crazy Heart. Now you know I’m all for Maggie G. Love her. But Julianne... she was robbed. Also, much as I’m a fan of Sandra Bullock, it’s criminal that she could have an Oscar before Julianne, and most criminal that Hilary Swank has TWO. Full Story
They announced earlier today that they are expecting and tonight James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff arrived together at the UK premiere of The Last Station totally blissed out and beautiful even though I’m not sure about his hair. Can’t decide. She however, at 39 and pregnant with their first, has never looked lovelier. Full Story
Russell Brand has been going to the gym a lot lately. I see him in his gym clothes and it cracks me up. I mean I can totally see that vain bitch Kellan Lutz at the gym every day tweaking his breasts but Russell Brand, it seems so incongruous. Like, look at him. And his green socks. Not that it’s a bad thing to be healthy, of course not. Full Story
NFL Playoffs. My Dolphins were out a long time ago. By virtue of divisional rivalry, I cannot and will not root for the Jets. Hate Brett Favre even though I’m happy the Vikings destroyed the Cowboys, and while I am a fan of Peyton Manning as a personality, I am not a fan of the Colts as team. Which leaves New Orleans. Full Story
He would have been 75 today. My friend LB asked yesterday – can you imagine his life in this era? The quaaludes and the guns and the late night binges and the women? It’s not impossible. Happy Birthday Elvis. And Happy Birthday Miss Zahara Jolie-Pitt who is 4. Here’s a selection of pictures. Full Story
I tweeted the following yesterday: Is Mark Wahlberg’s wife never NOT pregnant? Because for real, she’s pregnant, like, all the time. It’s remarkable fertility. Anyway, so many people Twitter replied at me with sentiments similar to the following: If I was his wife I would be pregnant all the time too! He’s hot! I don’t know if getting it from Marky Mark a couple of times a year makes up for having to carry that load around for 9 months EVERY YEAR. Full Story
Third Lip will take the stage at the Beverly Hilton next next Sunday for the Golden Globe Awards as Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman has been confirmed as a presenter, likely in support of Nine which is up for 5 awards, including acting nods for Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, and DDL. She herself has not been recognised. Full Story
Can you imagine the f-ckin’ production whenever they go out? I observe my friends with children. How long it takes to get everyone ready, to pack them all up, to make sure no one has to pee, and then you throw security and extra transportation and alleged pap avoidance into the mix and this is the life of the Brange. Full Story
