Baby and Bump Obsession Articles

Celebrity Pregnancy, rumors, new and expecting Hollywood moms, and plenty of belly cupping!

Thank you for shaving

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 07:25:46 November 9, 2009 07:25:46

And taking your shirt off. David Beckham trimmed that nasty ass beard to bring back the quiver. He also showed off a new shorter haircut at the Galaxy game yesterday that matched young Cruz. Cute right? Cruz has been firmly established as the showboat of the family, the new ‘do reflects his personality. Full Story

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Little Sci’s little friend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2009 10:15:21 November 6, 2009 10:15:21

It warms my degenerate heart to see Little Sci tentatively reaching out to someone her own age. Because it would suck to have to hang out with Sci people your entire life. But away from Daddy’s watchful Xenu eyes, Little Sci seems to be expanding her horizons. She’s with mom Katie Holmes in New York shooting a movie called The Romantics. Full Story

Perfect family travel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2009 08:22:56 November 6, 2009 08:22:56

What else is there to look at? Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry arrived back in LA yesterday from New York with baby Nahla, all 3 colour coordinated, all 3 styled perfectly, all 3 ridiculously beautiful, reminding us what ordinary really means. Ordinary is anything that is not them. This is absurd. Please stop coming out in public. Full Story

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Posh’s new hair won’t smile

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 2, 2009 12:00:51 November 2, 2009 12:00:51

The Beckhams were courtside at the Laker game the other night. As you can see, Posh is trying out some soft waves on her growing bob. Looks good. Really good. She was very pretty that night. Would have been prettier if she’d let herself smile. But of course not. There were too many cameras around. Full Story

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Our uncle is Tadeusz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 30, 2009 17:22:00 October 30, 2009 17:22:00

Same as your baby son whose first name is Henry. Henry Tadeusz, as announced today by your spokesperson, born on October 7. October 7 is also the birthday of my Polish father-in-law. His name is Stanislaw. It’s like we’re having a Polish party together. Full Story

Robo Disconnected

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 26, 2009 14:53:24 October 26, 2009 14:53:24

That word explains everything. Per the Paul Haggis revelations mentioned in today’s open, “disconnect” is a Scientology policy that refers to the action taken against those who do not share the Xenu love. Haggis’s wife was ordered to “disconnect” from her family when they broke from the Church. Full Story

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One happy Affleck family

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 20, 2009 17:28:53 October 20, 2009 17:28:53

Taupe must have been tired of those photos of him with the others, of Ben looking happy with everyone else but her. Photo Assumption can be a very powerful game. And celebrities use it to their advantages too. So this is the family Affleck today on set in Boston. Jennifer Garner brought the girls to see daddy on break, and daddy’s face lit up. Full Story

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Sparrow then Spanx?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 19, 2009 11:24:47 October 19, 2009 11:24:47

Nicole Richie will be skinny again soon enough. But it’s good to see she’s not in too much of a rush. Sparrow Madden was born about 6 weeks ago. Some bitches in Hollywood are back to concave stomachs after a fortnight. Nicole seems to be taking her time. Here she is last night at the Noble Humanitarian Awards with a fuller figure than we’re used to seeing from her. Full Story

Xenu still rules

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 15, 2009 06:58:50 October 15, 2009 06:58:50

I called it an eyebrow archer the other day. And indeed, The Daily Mail once again sucks sh-t, instilling us first with false hope, and then replacing it with disappointment. The other day, the paper reported that Katie Holmes and Jesus had triumphed over Xenu and the GMD and that Little Sci was enrolled at a Catholic pre-school in Boston. Full Story

Jesus > Xenu

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 12, 2009 07:08:41 October 12, 2009 07:08:41

The GMD's 2 oldest are currently being educated in the ways of the Xenu. It was expected then that his youngest, future leader of the Free Thetans, would be similarly indoctrinated even though Katie Holmes was raised Catholic. After all, they were married according to Scientological scripture. Surprisingly however, if The Daily Mail Full Story

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Twice this week

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2009 07:21:13 October 8, 2009 07:21:13

Look judgy moms! She’s walking again! Little Sci spent the afternoon in Boston yesterday with her mom and grandma and she even ventured out on foot. This is important because many of you have been writing about the fact that she’s always being carried around in photographs. As you can see, Little Sci can indeed amble around on her own. Full Story

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