Best of 2008: upstage and porn

January 2, 2009 09:22:00 Posted at January 2, 2009 09:22:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

February 23, 2008 – the Independent Spirit Awards. The Academy had ignored the Brange, depriving Angelina Jolie of a Best Actress nomination for A Mighty Heart. As such, they would not be at the Oscars the following evening.

Throughout awards season, the Brange had been coy about the pregnancy rumours. She wore a billowing muumuu to the SAGs, her breasts were noticeably inflated, but they were saving the slamdunk evidence, waiting to drop their frenzy-inducing bomb at the moment of most impact.

Of course…

The day before the Oscars. At the Spirit Awards…

They arrive, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and unlike every other red carpet appearance leading up to that weekend, Angie on this particular occasion chose a fitted black dress that pulled snug across her irrefutably large belly.

The press went batsh-t. We ALL went batsh-t.

At the time, many of us were rehearsing back at the Kodak Theatre in preparation for our live Oscar telecasts the following evening. Tanya Kim and I were on the balcony overlooking the Oscar carpet when the photos started coming in. We weren’t the only ones obsessed with our blackberries – every journalist was doing the same - a loud buzz ripped across the Kodak, not about the Oscars, but about the Brange. They had upstaged the Academy Awards…

And the next night?

Oscar ratings fell to an ALL TIME LOW.

Wonder if the Academy has learned its lesson. Hopefully yes. Because when the Brange hits the awards circuit, they treat us to a killer dose of Pitt Porn! My favourite!

Last year at Critics’ Choice and at the SAGs, they brought it. They brought it hard. Basking in the glow of their double fertilisation, knowing that photographers hovered around their table, aware that all eyes were on them, the Pitts put on a show, nuzzling each other, grazing on each other, sharing secret whispers, totally glowing, Angelina so beautiful, as she is when she’s pregnant, Hollywood’s most manipulatively powerful couple defiant in the face of every low ranking tabloid calling for their split and sending a loud “f-ck you” to the Academy.

They’ll be at the Globes together on January 11th.

Pitt Porn to start off 2009. Yay!

Photos from Wenn.com

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