Beyonce was in the Hamptons

May 26, 2014 13:30:45 Posted at May 26, 2014 13:30:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Lester Cohen/ Getty

Here’s what I wrote on Friday:

Is B going to the wedding this weekend?

God I hope not.

But how do they get out of it? Jay and Kanye are collaborators. Close collaborators. If he doesn’t go, would be seen as a sign of disrespect, non?

Well, they didn’t go. They were in the Hamptons instead. She posted this photo of herself and her new braids:

And a shot taken from that issue of VOGUE wishing them a lifetime of unconditional love. You can see that here.

And now everyone’s all like, OMG, they didn’t go, what does that mean?

It means they didn’t want to schlep their asses from Paris to here to there on display, that’s what it means. Everyone’s talking about how extravagant and deluxe and how much money must have spent which, fine. But how about how exhausting it would have been. A wedding day is already so tiring and stressful. And to add multiple destinations on top of that? Pain in the ass.

Also, the guest list was kinda… not super elite, you know? Like, when there are all kinds of B maybe but closer to C listers there, where do you seat Beyonce and Jay Z? You want the Carters to sit with the mother? And that stepfather with the really weird face? Come on now.

Dylan was there shooting from the outside for etalk. And he told me the entire time, the whole day, teenage girls were standing outside the gates shouting “JUSTIN BIEBER, JUSTIN BIEBER”. And he wasn’t even there. Can you imagine? Being a bride and all you can hear on your big day are tweens screaming for a little punk ass who didn’t even come?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAH

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