Bitch please Articles

Unbelievable, outrageous, or ridiculous celebrity statements or moves worthy of this kind of reply.

Justin is cerebral

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 7, 2011 10:51:20 July 7, 2011 10:51:20

But first, straight up, he and Mila Kunis look super hot here on the cover and inside of ELLE. Like really, really great together which...maybe that was Jessica Biel's problem. Or definitely. If Mila wanted a piece of that, would he be spending time in Toronto re-attaching the Cling? Anyway, this of course is in service of the upcoming Friends With Benefits so, naturally, a lot of the questions in the interview were about, duh, friends with benefits, and these two, by now, have at least a dozen funny, cute, clever "anecdotes" they can tell as prepared responses. Full Story

Jesse reads but doesn’t pose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 10, 2011 08:06:43 March 10, 2011 08:06:43

A lot of you developed a boner for Jesse Eisenberg this year after The Social Network and awards season and were sad and worried to see that come to an end because, Jesse being Jesse, he would recede from the public eye. Jesse makes it a point not to draw attention to himself (or use the internet or watch tv or engage in pop culture, eyeroll, eyeroll, eyeroll), Jesse is rarely papped, Jesse lives in New York and collects old maps and writes musicals. Full Story

Something I was saving…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 17, 2011 09:36:39 February 17, 2011 09:36:39

I don’t post about Michelle Trachtenberg much. Because, obviously. Or maybe not. Maxim just put her on its cover. Total bitch move but I’ll just come right out and say it – we’re talking about a supporting role tv girl here, aren’t we? Sure, I get it. This is a skin rag men’s mag, great. Full Story

Rubber suit

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 17, 2011 08:00:42 February 17, 2011 08:00:42

How else would you describe it? This is Lady Gaga at Good Morning America today arriving in typical crazy ass fashion, wearing a rubber suit, like literally a suit, with nipple tape and, by her standards, a rather ordinary hat. Yesterday, while out and about, she was almost conservative, in a denim jacket, leggings, and biker boots. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

Kate Middleton or Anna Wintour

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 15, 2011 09:02:49 February 15, 2011 09:02:49

Victoria Beckham has been in New York the last few days presenting her latest collection to the people who matter. Clever bitch that she is, she also let it drop that in addition to all the other famous people who’ve worn her designs (Drew Barrymore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez), she could be adding a Princess to that list. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Lilo + Oscar

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2011 08:54:55 January 20, 2011 08:54:55

She talks about this a lot. Once she said that one of her life goals was to win an Oscar before the age of 30. I still laugh about that one. This is a classic Lohan delusion. Daydreaming about something so out of reach, like it’s actually a possibility, for the sake of the achievement itself, without actually stopping to consider what it would take to make that a reality. Full Story

Douche in a Rolls

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2011 08:12:31 January 20, 2011 08:12:31

Well if this isn’t a douche alert… Check out Ryan Phillippe, in track pants and a nipple-hugging white t-shirt, after lunch yesterday in LA cruising around in a ROLLS ROYCE. Really??? A Rolls Royce? Like, who ARE you? And why is Amanda Seyfried so stupid? How do you get hard when a guy pulls up in a Rolls Royce steering it with his dick? Sit DOWN Ryan Phillippe. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Don’t torture the artist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 7, 2010 09:30:00 December 7, 2010 09:30:00

Flipping through photos from the Marrakesh Film Festival last night I was overcome with such an overwhelming Sit DOWN BITCH PLEASE I knew I had to share it. This is Michael Pitt of Boardwalk Empire, his hair newly dark, his girlfriend extra hungry, his lips ultra pouty, his expression uber artistic. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

And now Birkin will break up with you

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 13, 2010 15:44:26 September 13, 2010 15:44:26

As you know, as you’ve seen, she has one in every colour. And as you’ve probably heard, they’re not easy to get. It’s Hermes and their elaborate secret-handshake-special-customer-stock-in-the-back-but-only-if-you’ve-earned-it reputation. Victoria Beckham appeared to have earned it. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Passing out over Franco

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 13, 2010 08:05:33 September 13, 2010 08:05:33

There’s a scene in 127 Hours that is so harrowing, someone actually bailed last night at the TIFF gala nd the paramedics were called. If you know the story of the dude who was trapped and had to extricate himself in extreme fashion, you probably have an idea of what that might be like. Having said that, Franco is getting sick reviews for his performance in the film. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Rihanna’s not badass enough for Jenny Humphrey

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 23, 2010 08:05:00 August 23, 2010 08:05:00

Yeah so Taylor Momsen’s interview with Spin – have you read it? She’s so hardcore with her eyeliner and her band and the holes in her stockings, you know, like real rock’n’roll and other bitches like Rihanna are total pretenders. "People think pop is rock, and the lines are getting blurred. Full Story

View All 9 Photos