Bitch please Articles

Unbelievable, outrageous, or ridiculous celebrity statements or moves worthy of this kind of reply.


January 29, 2009 10:11:00 Posted at January 29, 2009 10:11:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last October, Michelle, Duana, and I were on a coach heading from the train station to our hotel in London. By the end of that bus ride, all the other passengers probably hated us. I had my laptop open checking email and started raging at the Adrien Brody photo spread in Hello Canada. And then we all started shouting. Full Story

Hoax camouflage

January 29, 2009 08:33:30 Posted at January 29, 2009 08:33:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So yesterday, Entertainment Weekly, after hearing from Joaquin Phoenix sources, reported that his recent rap journey is actually an elaborate hoax to be filmed by Casey Affleck for a mockumentary about celebrity meltdowns. Full Story


January 29, 2009 07:35:58 Posted at January 29, 2009 07:35:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yesterday it was Scarlett Johansson vanity singing. Today, it’s that Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake vanity acting. He sat down for an interview with Katie Couric to promote the Grammys – because only HE can increase Grammy ratings! – and they discussed everything from Timbaland, to Madonna, to SNL, to Beyonce, and yes… His acting. Full Story

SAG Robo Why?

January 26, 2009 07:47:00 Posted at January 26, 2009 07:47:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Katie Holmes presenting Best Actor? Why? Because she’s married to the Gay Midget Dwarf? Because her Little Sci is Hollywood’s most popular baby? Because the MiniVan Majority wants it to be? Yes, yes, and yes. At the very least then, Katie knew her role. She did not walk the carpet. But of course not. Full Story

Worst SAG White: Teri Hatcher

January 26, 2009 06:26:18 Posted at January 26, 2009 06:26:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Desperate Housewives is still bringing big ratings. This explains why they’re still invited. But really…it’s not 2004 anymore. People may care about the show, but no one cares about the actors. So far all intents and purposes, it’s like they’re CSI, you know what I mean? This must be why they insist on slapping us in the face on the carpet for fear we won’t notice. Full Story

Nobody puts Cheesy in a corner

January 23, 2009 11:26:47 Posted at January 23, 2009 11:26:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Earlier this week at the inauguration, Mimi was forced to sit among the likes of Jon Bon Jovi, Mary J Blige, Alicia Keys, and Bruce Springsteen in the VIP section. This did not please the Cheese. She apparently lost her sh-t when she found out her seat was not with the First Family in between the Obama Girls. Full Story

Miss GOOPy’s book list

January 22, 2009 12:27:00 Posted at January 22, 2009 12:27:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thanks to all of you for forwarding. Looks like my Gwyneth has A LOT of subscribers? See? You hate her but you can’t help it! OK, just teasing. As mentioned last week, this is the one worth looking at: Gwyneth Paltrow and her friends and their recommended reading list. Let’s judge her book taste. Full Story

Alba & Ebola

January 21, 2009 12:46:19 Posted at January 21, 2009 12:46:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oscar nominations are to be announced early tomorrow morning. And I’ll be putting out a sex tape with Colin Farrell (yeah Duana, come and get it) before Jessica Alba and Ebola Hilton hear their names announced by the Academy. They do however share a dubious distinction. Both the Alba Cow and Ebola have been nominated for Razzies – in other words, they starred in the WORST films of the year. Full Story

Pippy swaggers!

January 20, 2009 09:58:28 Posted at January 20, 2009 09:58:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So you know the Mighty Opes has been taping her show this weekend from Washington in honour of President Barack Obama’s Inauguration. Some high profile celebrities have come to visit and more are expected. Those who weren’t able to drop in sent video messages. Like Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake. Full Story

Get GOOPy on your rolls!

January 8, 2009 13:06:36 Posted at January 8, 2009 13:06:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last week it was detox, this week, Gwyneth wants to work out with you. Because after starving yourself through a detox session, it’s time to tone and tighten. So I’m 35. After my birthday I decided I’d try working out like a fiend for a while because I’m a vain bitch. Working out like a fiend sucks every kind of balls ever. Full Story