Brange no Ange

December 16, 2014 15:17:08 Posted at December 16, 2014 15:17:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Wenn, FameFlynet, Jason LaVeris/ Gregg DeGuire/ Getty Images

As expected, Brad Pitt represented Brange on his own last night at the Hollywood premiere of Unbroken because of the Jolie’s chicken pox. His parents were there. And also three of their six children – Maddox, Pax, and the Chosen One Shiloh.

It’s Brad’s birthday on Thursday. He’ll be 51. So I imagine his family is in town for that and will stay through the holidays?  

You know what kills me? A few things, actually. Maddox is trying to grow a moustache. If I were a parent, this would crack me up. Also Pax has stitches in his eyebrow. He’s the one they’ll be writing teen romance novels about. The silent, mysterious rebel. And finally, the way Shiloh is posing with her hands in her pockets, wearing the sh-t out of that suit. Like that’s how her dad’s been doing it for years. I imagine that all of this must be an endless source of amusement to mom and dad.

So why these three, why this combination instead of say Maddox and the twins or Pax and one twin and Miss Zahara? Well, we’ve always known that Shiloh worships her older brothers. And maybe the other three are the ones who are down with the pox?

Brad was asked about Angelina on the carpet. He told E! News that:

"Her spirits are high. A little spotted and a little itchy, but her spirits are high."

That’s the right answer. We’re not supposed to think she’s down. We’re not supposed to believe that she’d let a few hackers and a Golden Globes rejection knock her to her knees. So, fine, take this time to regroup and to bounce back.

Because a one side battle is not good for gossip. What’s good for gossip is when both sides are at full energy, full bars in the bottom corner of your screen, ready to go head-to-head during award season. Like Dan Marino vs Tom Brady. Like Jordan vs Magic. Like Gretzky and Lemieux. All in their prime. We want them at the top of their game.

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