The Family Pitt Domestica: Part 1

April 26, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 26, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Angelina and Brad were enjoying breakfast on the balcony in one of the many rooms they had reserved for themselves at the Namibian resort. But while the blazing African sun was already scorching the landscape, the couple kept themselves cool by passing icecubes to each other mouth to mouth, hungrily lingering before each transfer, clearly still as passionately in love today as they were a year ago when their love first bloomed. Angie was resting between Brad"s legs, her back against his chest, both seated comfortably on a lounge chair beside a table of fresh fruit and exotic cheeses imported from France. Zahara cooed in her playpen at their feet while in the background, Maddox could be heard shouting Cambodian obscenities to his much maligned playmate over a game of who could punch who harder with stuffed animals. Angie sighed contentedly. It was a perfect morning, in the perfect environment, with her perfect children, and her perfect man. She could not have been happier. In the distance, she could see giraffes and elephants lumbering along, parched by the heat, surviving in their natural habitat. "Elephants are so beautiful," Angie remarked. "I think I should learn to ride one. It"s probably much harder than flying a plane. And it would make the perfect escape vehicle in my next Tomb Raider movie." "I"m gonna buy you an elephant! And one for Madd and one for Z too! Elephants for the Pitts!" Brad exclaimed. Angie giggled and blushed. "Oh baby. You are too good to me. That would be so romantic. And it would really add to Z"s understanding of the earth that sprang her soul. Wouldn"t that be so meaningful?" She smiled at the thought of her family going elephant-back from home to home, a new sense of adventure stirring in her belly. However, the smile quickly faded, replaced by a cloud of sadness that passed across her famous features. "But aren"t elephants hunted cruelly for their tusks?" Angie gasped, "We must do something Brad! We must bring their plight to the people." "Wow. You amaze me every day with your compassion and generosity. What should we do??? How can we right this wrong?" Brad asked. "Our next mission must involved elephants. We must open the eyes of the world to the horrors of the ivory hunt. I will ask the UN to shed more light on this issue. People Magazine will get the exclusive photos of us on elephants in exchange for a donation towards the Agency That Fights for the Rights of Elephants and Their Tusks - ATFRETT, I think that"s what they"re called. What do you think baby?" Angelina"s expression was so hopeful, so full of unbridled altruism - how could Brad deny her? "Let"s do it. Let"s call Karl Lagerfeld tomorrow, ask him to design an elephant tusk inspired logo - matching tattoos on the inside of our thighs…so that each time we make love, we will know that the soulful song of the elephant surrounds us - like a drum, reverberating and pounding in rhythm with our bodies." "Oh yes. I miss making love. But making peace is so much better."
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