Midwest Brange

December 30, 2010 08:48:00 Posted at December 30, 2010 08:48:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Following a Christmas holiday in Namibia, birthplace of the Chosen One, the Brange then stealthily made their way over to Missouri. Why Missouri? Brad Pitt’s family lives in Missouri. There have been many sightings, no paps, but here’s a cellphone photo that was posted on Facebook – click here – during a trip to Barnes & Noble. Thanks V!

The tabloids are constantly purporting that the Pitts hate the Jolie. That they prefer Aniston. That Angelina and Brad’s ma are always at odds. It’s the kind of family drama that sells. The truth is probably a lot less interesting. And they have defied the headlines for yet another year.

2010 began with reports that a Brange split was imminent as the UK’s News of the World boldly declared that they were through, that they’d met with divorce lawyers, that they’d finally imploded. The Brange countered swiftly, suing NOTW with a letter from the lawyer named in the article who categorically denied ever having been retained by either party. The Brange won. NOTW had to retract and pay damages. There followed two books, both unremarkable, one rather soft by Andrew Morton, the other totally ludicrous by Ian Halperin, neither doing much damage as the Brange passed through Venice (shooting The Tourist), then spent the summer in Los Angeles, still intact, seemingly unaffected.

Mixed in with all this were claims from a former bodyguard alleging that the Jolie mistreats her kids, or some sh-t, and accusations that she’s been trying to turn Shiloh into a lesbian because the child enjoys wearing pants, short hair, and carrying around a toy sword. Then of course there were the persistent drug allegations, and Dr Drew’s famewhoring diagnosis that the Jolie is still a junkie, for which he promptly apologised, and the ongoing fantasies spun by In Touch or Life & Style that Brad keeps calling Jen on the sly and meeting her in random basements.

In the Fall, the Brange took over Hungary where Angelina was directing her first film, a Bosnian love story. Controversy soon erupted over the script as the Women Victims of War association in Sarajevo launched a protest. The Jolie insisted that people wait until they’ve seen the film before casting judgment. Brad dropped by the set a lot with his camera to take arty pictures. They kissed and cuddled and everyone was distracted.

When that wrapped, it was sales time again. Brad for Megamind and Angelina for The Tourist, kicking off several days of assy red carpet styling that had us all running for cover. The woman is sartorially blind.

So where are we now?

Well, we are where we started. As 2010 comes to a close, the Brange still exists. And as 2011 opens, they will hopefully bring their Pitt Porn to the Golden Globes where Angelina has been nominated for Best Actress. Headshaking.

What can we look forward to?

Pitt’s next film The Tree of Life could be shaking up Cannes in advance of a May open. Moneyball is expected in September, perhaps another award season release. And, even better, another TIFF appearance. Which means they have products to move. Which means they’ll be around. And another year with the Brange is good, very good, for gossip.

Attached – the Brange at the Salt premiere in LA. Salt was a success for her. She proved yet again that she is the only viable female action lead. I like it when the Jolie kicks ass. I much prefer to see her kicking ass then with a weird English accent opposite a bloated dorky Johnny Depp in a wannabe Euro rip-off. Just me?


Photos from ROBYN BECK/Jason Merritt/Kevin Winter/John Shearer/Gettyimages.com

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