The Brange and the Smurf

December 8, 2011 16:57:08 Posted at December 8, 2011 16:57:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Flynet, JosiahW/Splash

The Brange took all their kids to FAO Schwartz in New York yesterday. I always wonder the most random things when it comes to these two. Like...who pays? Does he pull out his credit card or does she do it? Or do they roll like William and Harry? With William and Harry, say when they hit up a club, either a bodyguard takes care of it discreetly or someone rings the next day with payment. Is there a Brange assistant/nanny who hangs back with the cash money? Do you care as much as I do?

As for the children, Angelina and Brad have always said that they hope that each of their kids finds a mirror in one of their siblings. That Maddox and Pax will look at each other and find a common physical experience. Same goes for Shiloh and the twins. It’s interesting to me how children work though - that a mirror for them isn’t necessarily who might share their physical similarities but rather that it’s a matter of spirit. Is Miss Zahara matching mom’s jacket more than just an aesthetic choice? Is she, among the girls in the family, the one who’ll be closest to the Jolie in attitude and behaviour?

Then there’s the Chosen One Shiloh with her big brother Maddox. She dresses like him, she carries around a sword like him, she hitches her pant leg up all gangster styles like him, and, as you can see, she asked to have his boots too. Hers is probably the first face he sees when he opens the door in the morning. Hi Maddox! What are we doing today!??! I love you, I love you, I love you!

Not sure about the Smurf though. Is the Smurf Maddox-approved? I need to know. Seriously, I really need to know.

For all their ex-assistants and security people who keep selling them out about Angie’s drink binging and Brad’s pot-smoking, why can’t we instead get information on what it’s really like on Christmas morning at the Brange? This is what makes that sh-t so unbelievable. There is never anything ordinary that gets provided along with the scandal. Like if Brad wears plaid long pants to bed. I feel like he’s totally a plaid long pants kind of dude.

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