Brange Family at the show & the Chosen One’s tooth

August 8, 2011 10:06:36 Posted at August 8, 2011 10:06:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Maddox is 10. Jesus, that seems old to me. The Jolie has a 10 year old kid. Remember, at the age of 9, Noah Cyrus, Miley’s sister, was dancing up on a pole at a party. So there’s that. 10 just isn’t what it used to be, you know?

Anyway, here they all are, in London on Saturday after a performance of Wicked, and Brad looks f-cking hot in his clothes and Angelina looks gross in the legs, and they are looking at each other all happy for the cameras and there some scandal about the Chosen One’s tooth??? I’ve received some mail about Shiloh’s front tooth. Example:

“How come nobody ever mentions Shiloh Jolie-Pitts missing front tooth? It has been missing for well over a year now and she is too young for it to have come out by itself…”

Look, I’m not a parent but I would expect that kids lose their teeth all the time running around and playing and sh-t and being active. Particularly the ones like the Chosen One who is clearly, as we’ve seen from her photos, errrr, often exuberant to the extreme. That kid probably falls off of something once a day. So I guess she just has to wait until her adult tooth grows in.

Like, is this a dumbass assumption from a non-mother? Too simple of an explanation? Does it not happen all the time? Am I missing out on some kind of scandal for which the missing tooth should have been an immediate giveaway? Is Angelina Jolie strung out on heroin and beating her kids in the mouth??? Or, rather, was Shiloh simply roughhousing with her brother, jumped off the bed in order to lay a smackdown on his ass, and knocked out her tooth in the process? Maybe someone tried to force a dress on her and she punched out her own tooth in retaliation. I like door number 3.

Photos from

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