Does Several Years Mean Seven Years?

October 24, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 24, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Big scandalous headline on The National Enquirer: Brad Pitt and a Hooker! Angelina in Tears! Flip it open however and get the small print. Some whore, literally, has written a book about her famous clientele - Brad was allegedly one of the paying customers: a $500 encounter that was efficient, no frills, not romantic, and actually rather quick. To be specific however, the incident apparently occurred *several years ago*, obviously not during Angelina Jolie...but perhaps during someone else? Hmmmm...let"s backtrack. Brad and Angie hooked up in 2005. Before that was the Aniston era - a 7 year union taking us all the way to 1998. Does that count as "several years ago". And if so, was the sh-t so boring he had to pay for a fun ride? Or could it have been during Gwyneth? Was Gwyneth"s cold indifference so unappetising he went lookin" for a hustle? Well...since the Paltrow Golden Age ended with HER infidelity and the Jennifer marriage ended with the no-child zone and the tantalising temptation of Angelina Jolie, I"m gonna go out on a limb and say that several years constitutes the seven years during the same Black Dress. And if that"s the case - shouldn"t the tearful headline belong to someone who wasn"t dating but also didn"t break up with Vince Vaughn? Just asking... While we"re at it though, have to tell you I"m rather amused at the revelation. Brad Pitt diddles hookers, Angelina swings both ways, makes out with her brother, marries Billy Bob Thornton...can you imagine the kind of supernova sex these two must be having? AND they love gays, AND they have multi-coloured children, AND the support the"s the MiniVan Majority"s worst f-cking nightmare. Source
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