The Pitts: a PDA clinic

December 12, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
You don’t kiss for three minutes on camera and release the footage to the world press. You don’t envelop each other in an airtight embrace every Saturday for the benefit of the pappies, or trade saliva on the red carpet, or profess your “magnificent, amazing, awesome, incredible” love on top of Oprah’s couch, with jumping jacks for exclamation marks - not if you expect anyone but the MiniVan Majority to believe you. Savvy gossips need something more subtle, something doled out in small increments – a hand on the small of her back followed by months of nothing, then the first glimpse of closeness at the airport followed by a baby announcement, followed by more months of nothing save for a rapidly growing belly, and then at the high of the frenzy, a 10 page pictorial in People, tender photos offering no touching but an implied intimacy in bed with the Chosen Arrival. And after that…strategically timed displays of affection at an art show, in a rickshaw, on a sightseeing tour, all sparingly released in that critical moment between impatience and desperation. Just a quick overview of how the Pitts have perfected the art of anticipation: public excursions with the children, photo spreads in glossy magazines without so much as a smile, but slowly, slowly, gauging the right time, the right moment, and then a very well executed red carpet debut. No tongue required, no teeth blazing in the glare of frenzied journalists and pappies, just an occasional hand around her waist and fingers inextricably linked so that something as simple as handholding achieves what would otherwise be navel grinding for less accomplished famewhores. Check it out – via TMZ - everyone is hungry for a small taste of the Private Pitts, just a hint of what it must be like behind closed doors, just in time for a movie premiere, just in time for awards season. Yes they are selling. And yes, I am buying… And THIS is where the GMD has failed. Because when it comes to playing the public, when it comes to owning The Game, when it comes to the “Zen Master of the Media”…indeed there really is only Brad Pitt. And less is always more. Source
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